How do you deal with inappropriate gifts for your kids? - Page 2

[BeanyMama]

I'm sorry that happened, OP. Gifts are so, so tricky because you want to be heard and respected without hurting anyone's feelings. Including your LO! The only advice I can think of for the future is trying to nip it in the bud before hand by asking for something specific. Like with my mother, who buys Christmas gifts in October, I'll say something like we're cutting back on toys this year so just a museum membership would be awesome. I know that doesn't help with the ATV you have right now Best of luck.

[JudiAU]

My brother is badly divorced. He is eight years older and had his kids early. I've had my kids late and my feeling about what is appropriate for a child has changed SO MUCH.

I've always purchased his kids way-more- than necessary birthday and holiday gifts and never ever once got a thank you or feedback or a phone call saying this is not what we need and / or wish list. I think I would have listened but I was young too and really really disliked their (horrible) mom. I found a year or two ago that alms everything I ever gave the daughter went straight to theft store regift etc. Kills me. Mom didn't like. I had no idea and I. Retrospect what four year old needs a meglo babrie castle and horse drawn fairy wagon or whatever the Christmas was. She want even allowed to ply with barbies.

So I would at least try to have dh have the conversation. Because maybe they would like to know.

[OkiMom]

For me inappropriate gifts depends on what they are. The ATV would have been gotten rid of without opening. I find them dangerous and have known children who have gotten injuried using them as well as people who have gotten injuried when a child drove one into them and they didn't know (basically walking up the sidewalk, child was playing alone in the yard and thought it would be funny to ram the person walking). Anything that I consider unsafe I don't even open, it gets either sold or given to someone else depending on what it is.
If its anything I said no to (for example if my MIL gave my daughter a video game system) then its either returned to the person or sold and I pick something out for my daughter (my daughters are 3 1/2 and 21 months so they get a say in anything I get but the ultimate decision lies with me since I know whats appropriate/safe and whats not).
If its just something I don't necessarily like (for example the Princess baby stuff that was cheaply made and broke within two seconds) they play with it for a while then I give it to someone else.

I do have to say in my daughter's life times they have recieved 2 gifts from my in-laws and another two from my grandparent in laws. We live a long distance from family and they never remember their birthdays. In one way its sad since they go out of their way to remember their other grand daughter/great-grand daughter's birthday but not my two and in another way at least I don't have to go through what they get them to make sure its appropriate.

[starbuckmom]

I too have tried to limit what toys grandparents, aunts, uncles etc bought for my kids and while it was ok for a while, I have to be careful b/c most of those people didn't have the money to buy all the wooden toys or all the natural non battery toys that I wanted my kids to have. I finally had to let it go. It was more important that my inlaws and my family were happy and my kids were happy. I would rather my children have a wonderful relationship with their grandparents and aunts and uncles no matter what toys they get.

Now, for the ATV issue. Sounds like by the price its one of the battery operated type of ATV which are safer than the real atv but still need to be cautious. My sil bought one of these at a garage sale for my older ds. While I was not thrilled at the idea, my ds absolutely LOVES to ride that thing around my inlaws farm til the battery runs dead LOL!!! He was just over 4 yrs old when he got that. So, 3 yrs is a bit young but not a bad gift especially if she loves it. I got over the idea of him having it. It makes my child happy then I am happy.

Now, we are very cautious when he rides it. He can not ride it w/o an adult outside with him. He can go down the extra driveway to the pasture but has to turn around at the gate. If Grandpa is coming in the driveway with a tractor (inlaws are farmers) ds has to drive the atv to where we are and stop and get off. He is not allowed in the driveway when Grandpa has a tractor running. He knows not to run the atv around his little brothers either. We have not had a problem with it at all.

I guess sometimes, we need to let go of what we want for the happiness of our kids.