Lying

[Nillarilla]

What do you do to deal with lying in a 4.5yo?

[One_Girl]

At that age kids are still blending their wishes and their imagination with the truth. I asked my dd if something was true or a wish, pointed out the obviously not true parts and called her story an imagination story or a wish based on these things being imagination things or untrue, and didn't make a big deal out of it. I also made sure that I didn't overreact to things too much so my dd felt comfortable coming to me with the truth.

[ssh]

I think a lot of kids that age can't really distinguish between wishing something was true and it being true. I wouldn't make a big deal out of my almost 5 year old lying. She's so involved in pretend right now, including imaginary friends and pets, that it would be hard to identify a "lie" as such. For example when she tells me that Bella, a ghost girl friend, made a mess I reply that DD is still responsible for the mess because she was there when the mess was made. I don't make an issue out of the fact that DD actually made the mess because I feel giving the blame to the imaginary friend is more a developmental phase than a real dishonesty, and I don't let her shirk the responsibility for helping clean up either.