I've been having regular prenatal care through an OBGYN here in MD, simply because the Medicaid covers it and I've been a bit insecure during this pregnancy, considering all that I've been through. I have NO intention of delivering in a hospital whatsoever. I WAS going to use the OB as my back up plan "just in case," until she informed me that the hospital she delivers at (Union) does NOT allow VBAC's! I didn't realize hospitals in this day and age could still be so outdated.
Anyway, honestly, I'm nervous about delivering this baby at home, completely unassisted. I don't have a partner anymore. No close friends. No family. It's just me and my three kids. My labors tend to be long (24+ hours) and painful. I don't know how I will make it through the entire thing alone, and watching my kids.
I've been looking into homebirth midwives, but apparently homebirthing with a midwife is illegal here! I did find one midwife, Karen Webster, but she has not replied to any of my e-mails or calls to her home phone and cell phone.
I just found another (Laura, I believe, from Sunrise Midwife, or something similar.) She does do homebirths here, but doesn't accept Medicaid. Since I'm Medicaid eligible, she will drop my fee to $2700. I'd need to give her a $500 deposit up front then pay about $100 per week for the remainder of the pregnancy. I can't afford that. I'm barely managing food, bills, and school supplies as it is.
So, that seems to leave me with one choice: to deliver this baby at home, completely alone, with my three children present.
Any other ideas? Suggestions? Please.