How do you know when bedtime is?

[KellyandBean]

I've been thinking about this for a long time so it is about time i asked some other moms what they do. My DD is 6 months old (today!) and usually goes roughly 2 hours between naps. She still does 3 naps a day and all of them are random different lengths anywhere from 45 mins to 2 or 3 hours. Totally unpredictable. So if her last nap just ended at 4:30 and ideally I'd like to do a 7:30 pm bedtime am i pushing it to much to try to keep her awake for 3 hours instead of 2? No matter what time her last nap ends should i always have her bed time at the same time every day or should i base it off from the time she wakes from her last nap? If i were to try to get her to take another nap she'd end up with a crazy late bedtime so i know that isn't a good option. I've really been wanting to have some kind of a set bedtime but it seems like every night it is different because i usually base it of from about 2.5ish hours after she got up from her last nap. I guess I'm just a little confused about how you can have a consistent set bedtime if naps are all over the place? What do you do?

[P.J.]

We have the same issue here. DS is only 3 months, but it's the exact same situation (except he never takes a 2 or 3 hour nap!). Sometimes I try to keep him up and he just gets soooo fussy, or simply falls asleep. And then other times it gets too late and I realize he shouldn't have had that last nap.

I hope we get some good suggestions here, because I'm also confused.

[KellyandBean]

Originally Posted by P.J.

(except he never takes a 2 or 3 hour nap!).

This only happens if i hold her and leave my boob out for her to suckle on the whole time! haha. Usually she can only nap for 45 mins (a sleep cycle) and then i have to convince her to sleep longer. I hope we get some good replies too!

[akat]

Well, my babe is almost 7 months. Since he was about 2 or 3 months old, if we get in bed somewhere between 9.30 and 11pm, he will STAY in bed until 7-8am. He wakes to nurse but always goes back to sleep [stays in bed]. If we get in bed earlier than that, he wakes up completely and wants to play for 1.5-2 hrs at like 3am.

His naps are pretty random. Different times, different lengths. Especially since we have busy lives and a 6 yr. old who has to be taken to school, camp, lessons - these things interrupt a baby's naps.

Therefore, if he falls asleep for a nap 6pm or later, I just make a lot of noise around him and help his nap be kinda short.

I'm probably not a great sleep advice giver, though.

[tzs]

our bedtime is when she starts screeching, pulling ears, falling over, etc...between 8-9. i do see the need for consistancy in a general way and we do keep a schedule but i don't do it by the clock per se. our "schedule" basically consists of a morning nap about 2 hours after wake-up but i watch both her and the clock, an afternoon nap mostly by watching her but keeping an eye on the clock and a bedtime by watching her and as for the clock i only care that it not be before 7:30...otherwise we're up too early. i would think that would be more relevant to an older kid and apparently there are some babes that sleep "by the clock" rather than by how long they've been awake etc...

i am starting work next week and so she'll be going to school with me and waking up earlier around 7 so in that case i might try for a 7ish bedtime just so she gets enough sleep....but i think she'll try to push it forward herself anyway since she'll be exhausted from being there and going down to one nap. if she doesn't do it on her own i'd just continue with the 8:00 time and then i would imagine soon enough she's be tired enough to push it to 7 herself.

so i guess my response is that i don't do arbitrary bedtimes but instead base them on the sleep she's gotten that day and what she will need for the next day's wake-up. routine and schedule, yes. set bedtime, no.

[terra-pip]

Originally Posted by tzs

our bedtime is when she starts screeching, pulling ears, falling over, etc...between 8-9. i do see the need for consistancy in a general way and we do keep a schedule but i don't do it by the clock per se. our "schedule" basically consists of a morning nap about 2 hours after wake-up but i watch both her and the clock, an afternoon nap mostly by watching her but keeping an eye on the clock and a bedtime by watching her and as for the clock i only care that it not be before 7:30...otherwise we're up too early. i would think that would be more relevant to an older kid and apparently there are some babes that sleep "by the clock" rather than by how long they've been awake etc...

i am starting work next week and so she'll be going to school with me and waking up earlier around 7 so in that case i might try for a 7ish bedtime just so she gets enough sleep....but i think she'll try to push it forward herself anyway since she'll be exhausted from being there and going down to one nap. if she doesn't do it on her own i'd just continue with the 8:00 time and then i would imagine soon enough she's be tired enough to push it to 7 herself.

so i guess my response is that i don't do arbitrary bedtimes but instead base them on the sleep she's gotten that day and what she will need for the next day's wake-up. routine and schedule, yes. set bedtime, no.

agree. Usually it's best to just watch a baby and let them sleep when they are sleepy. Most babies like that morning nap an hour to two after they wake up...and then doze off and on maybe, and a longer stretch in the afternoon, maybe another doze..and then a long 6 hours or more night time sleep.

Bedtime around here is always no later than 9...7:30 to 9...because of my bigger kids. My 7 week old is usually asleep for her long night time stretch around 8:00 or earlier.

[cocoanib]

Our bedtime is sometime between 10pm and 12am most nights.
If she goes down anytime before then, it's usually just a nap and she'll be up again in an hour or so.
I work nights, so I'm home at about 1030 and then we nurse, play a bit, shower and get ready for bed, relax or play some more and then lay down for sleep, nurse to sleep or rock to sleep.

[Sharlla]

generally she goes down between 9 and 11 pm. we know its time when she starts rubbing her eyes, then I just lay in bed with her and nurse her to sleep. we don't have set nap/bedtimes, she just lets us know when she's sleepy.

[KellyandBean]

whoa I'm really surprised how lat everyone's babies bed times are! I always like to get her down at least an hour or two before i go to bed (9-10) so that i can spend time unwinding and watching TV with my husband. BUT i guess if i were a working mom I'd want to spend more time with her so I'd be inclined to keep her up and then retire at the same time with her so that makes since. Either way I'm really relieved to see that everyone else seems to have random bedtimes as well. Thanks for the replies!

[Sharlla]

we are til around 3 the nights i am home...
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[lifeguard]

I used to just go by ds' cues certain he would settle into a normal for him schedule at some point - every night was a different time. Finally at about 18 months we had to just create a bedtime for him & start the bedtime routine every night at the same time even if he didn't seem tired - it took about 6 weeks of that before he settled into it. Now he goes down relatively easily at the same time every night.

I think some babes have a natural rhythm & others need a little more help with it.

[ann_of_loxley]

imo - theres no need for a set bedtime. Espeically this young. If you find you need one in the future, it is much easier to have one because of that need. Like...school. But then your child is much older and doing more things routinely so you can fit it in.

[octobermom]

I follow my LO cues for naps and bedtime... She does fall into a pretty nice rountinue though
SHe naps twice a day around 2 hours each
she goes to be around 7pm
wakes once somewhere in the night nurses and goes back to bed
wakes around 6:30am


Deanna

[Asiago]

Our 10 month old sleeps in our bed and goes to sleep when we do at about 9:30, sometimes later though. Prior to that he takes his third nap of the day about 7pm, a one hour nap. He begins to show signs of being tired around our bedtime, rubs his eyes, wants to nurse.