How do you manage?

[newmommy7-08]

I have 8 day old twin girls born via c-section. If they were my onlies I think I'd be doing much better. I could easily park myself on the bed all day or couch... but I have a 2 year old who obviously wants played with!
DH is home until next Wednesday... and it doesn't help that since we got home from the hospital we've taken 3 different trips that were an hour 1 way.

1-To the ER... (massive pain around the incision) That was 2+ hours in the car plus 3 hours at the hospital.

2-Another trip to the breastfeeding center just to have things checked out. DS was a horrible nurser and I wanted someone to tell me if there was anything we needed to work on. Thankfully they're both latching and nursing beautifully... except they nurse for 45 minutes a piece and I can only tandem them w/ an extra set of hands which I'll be loosing on Wednesday! We've been bottle feeding formula at night, please no flames on that... I would be lucky to get 2 hours of sleep a night if we were nursing in 15-20 minute increments and that's not conducive to a mommy who can handle a busy toddler and two newborns! They are thankfully going back and forth between breast and bottle very seamlessly... as soon as DS got a taste of the bottle that was it for nursing with him.

3-Back to the hospital to have my staples removed. That was about a 5 hour process because we needed some things from babies r us so we ran in there quickly because it's on the way home and about 45 minutes from our house.

Today we actually stayed home and I was thrilled! DH took DS out to the store and for dinner and both girls were sleeping... of course they woke up and both were hungry and I was on my own. I managed to latch the one that was hungriest, but couldn't get the other in place for anything... so she wound up in the bouncy seat and she drifted back off... an hour later I realized she had been sleeping for 5 hours!!! and I didn't feed her when she was up! I felt horrible... I woke her as soon as I realized it, and she was angry... I wound up giving her a bottle because she wouldn't latch!

I am having a terrible time keeping track of who ate when and how long. We tried tracking it on paper, but that seems to either be forgotten when we move to another room, or DS decides to color on it. We try waking them to eat when one wakes to eat, and that seems to work great for at night. We're already getting 2-3 hour stretches of sleep by doing that.

I just don't have a clue how i'm going to pull off a 25 month old and twin newborns once I have to do it alone!!

[Avocado]

I know how you feel. I had a C-section, my husband left for work (musician) when they were 8 days old and won't be back until December, and on top of the twins, I have a demanding 5 and almost 3 year old. It's been SO difficult. I have almost no help, when I'm nursing I am stuck on the couch and the other kids are fending for themselves. I haven't supplemented a drop, so it's been all me with no help in the feeding department, either. I never kept track of feedings, only diaper output in the beginning. I just nurse on demand when they're hungry. Sometimes I feel like I'll just about lose my mind, but it's worth it.

[LoisLane]

Huge hugs to both of you. The first days (and weeks, and even months in some way!) can be sooooo hard. You can do it. Your house might be a mess, you might be ordering in food or eating more packaged food than usual, but you can do it.

And... in my opinion, this is the time to call in the help. Having twins taught me how there are times you simply must get help (whether volunteer or paid) and that when asked, almost everyone is SO glad to help. So even if you don't have family close, can you ask a neighbor to come and play with your two year old? Hire a 13 year old to read books to your older child? Ask a friend with her own kids to come and hold the babes while you shower? Ask anyone you know to bring you food? Hire a housecleaner (Karen Gromada, the LLL multiples book author, reminds us that when breastfeeding two, we are saving like $300 a month ... so use that money for things that will help like food delivered or house cleaner, childcare, etc.)

Most of the help we asked for involved food (I was SOOOOO hungry when they were born and the first few mnths when they were nursing so much) and people to play with my then 3 yo son. One friend took him on a bus ride to the dollar store. That was it. They were gone three hours and he had a BLAST!

If you have any connections in your community (work, playgroup, church, neighbors), this is the time to call them. Because what you are doing right now IS so hard -- and SO important. You also might want to check out your twin club. Even if they aren't super pro-breastfeeding or AP, they are filled with moms who have been just where you are right now, and they might have suggestions (or even bring you food!).

Congratulations on your twins, and best of luck to all of you. It goes sooooooo fast (my girls turned five this summer)...

[queenofchaos]

One thing that has saved my sanity is a chart. It is really hard to know what is going on with who and when and how often. I made one that works really well for me. PM me with your email and I will email it to you in an attachment.
For at least the first two wks it is imperative that you have help. I have a 10 yr old and 8 yr old DDs that help me out a lot. I also have a 2 yo DS, so I know how difficult it can be. In fact, I find he is impossible to handle just me, him and the twins. Aside from my girls helping, I also have a couple ladies that I call in now and then to help keep a handle on things. As much as possible delegate everything imaginable to others.
I gotta go, otherwise I would share some more. I have 7 wk old twin girls, so I get what you are going thru!

[ShanaV]

I also made a chart which turned out to be imperative. The first few days/weeks I used these timer things, but it wasn't good enough because it doesn't record what happened. And I'd always forget to push the timers when I did something. So I made a spreadsheet, printed out a bunch of copies, and stuck it in a binder along with other important baby info (medical papers and whatnot).

You have 2 halves of the page, one for each twin. A and B. Then each column goes something like this:

Time... Mins (BF)... L/R (which boob)... Amount (EBM/Formula) ... Pee... Poo (check box for these)

The benefits to this are:
(1) Your sanity. You know what happened when, how long its been since we had a big poop, etc.
(2) If you pass off the babies to a helper, they know how long it's been, and they can record things while they're watching them.
(3) If there turns out to be any kind of medical problem, your baby gets sick, or if there's not enough weight gain for example, you can show this to your doctor and see where a problem might lie.

To make recording easier, I actually note it down right when it happens on my iphone in a note. Then I will transfer it to the paper when I get a chance. I keep my phone on me at all times, tucked into the pocket of my twin brest friend pillow, so it's easy to remember to write it down immediately.

HTH! GL!

[Julia'sMom]

I have to agree that twins with a toddler is much more challenging that I ever imagined. The babies are easy compared to the toddler since meeting their physical needs typically meets all their needs. The toddler is another story.

So...if there's anyway you can learn to tandem, do it. Do you have a nursing pillow? When they were newborns I could lay both of them on there and then spend the entire nursing session going back and forth between latching one and then teh other. It was exhausting since neither was a good nurser, but it worked.

We did lots of tv and movies. We also did lots of stories. Almost every time I was stuck nursing I tried to read her a story and we still do them when nursing the babies. We also did puzzles, crafts, basically anything I could do with her while sitting still (usually with a babe at the breast).

Friends, neighbors, church members were all a blessing. Dinners were awesome and always accepted (asked for) when anyone asked if we could use help. Freezer casseroles were awesome and used for months.

We too used formula, so no flames here. However, when I was able to wean off of formula (supply issues) the nights became easier. I was able to learn to doze off sitting up in bed with both on the pillow latched on. That was something I couldn't do with a bottle. Now I just alternate side lying nursing with them. I'm still up at least 6 times a night, but more rested because I can just lie down with whichever baby needs me and then switch when the other cries.

As far as scheduling, I'm not much help as it's all a blur. I did try and do everything in tandem, if possible. This way I had some idea of who did what, however I was never able to keep track of who drank how much from the bottle since they shared bottles.

It does get easier. Now, at 8 months, they both think the toddler is the best amusement ever. THeir faces light up when she comes in the room and their eyes are constantly following everything she does. Now, I will admit that DD1's behavoir got worse before it got better. All due to my lack of time for her, but we did survive and hopefully it will just get better from here on.

[Nanasi]

I didn't have to try and nurse them on my own until they were a bit older, but swaddling definitely helped. We didn't swaddle them much, but I felt so much more comfortable maneuvering two wiggly, bobble-headed babies when they were baby burritos. I used the EZ2Nurse pillow and it was great for us. I was able to focus on helping them latch on because I didn't have to hold them in place all the time.

Also, the previous posters are SO right! Get help! This is hard, especially if you don't have help.

Good luck!

[catlvr976]

Hi newmommy....I'm from the August DDC and have twins, too.

I know I'm really new to the whole twins thing, too, but I want to seriously second what Nanasi said. I swaddle mine with those swaddleme's they sell and a swaddle pod (only cause I'm terrible at swaddling with a blanket). I also have one of those EZ 2 nurse pillows and it really helps.

Mine are almost 3 weeks old, but that pillow def helps to tandem nurse. I have them swaddled, set them on either side of the pillow in the football hold, then latch one on, then the other. I don't chart who ate when or for how long or what side. I usually just have one baby to his/her own side for the most part and feed them when they seem hungry; at night, when one wakes up, I just wake the other up and feed them both, during the day, sometimes I might feed them both or just one at a time, depends on my mood. They seem to be doing ok; peeing and pooping just fine.

I can sympathize with you as far as other kids, too. Thankfully my oldest is almost 8 and she's been just a tremendous help and my other 2 are pretty good at helping as well.

My house is a wreck though...lol!

[*clementine*]

Omg.
I'm at the end of my pregnancy with twins and I have four other children. My husband works nights and sleeps days. I was just looking around my pristine house today and trying to figure out if it could stay this way with the new babies coming. Also, I have to run kids to four different schools in the mornings by myself (and the twins will be in tow once they arrive.) I'm feeling like I can't do it all and keep up my grocery shopping, meal cooking, housework and laundry. To some people that might not be the end of the world, but for us to function, I'm married to my schedule.
I'm scared. If I can't keep up, I don't know if I can keep my sanity, and I have a feeling I'm about to be hit with a ton of bricks.
P.S.
Am I a fool for thinking I can cloth diaper?

[Molliejo]

, OP.

I don't manage very well. I am home alone with four under four for about eleven and a half hours a day. And then I have some long weekends where I am the only parent here. We can't afford help, so that is out of the question. I have not been out of the house for months, mostly because we only have one car and we also live in the middle of nowhere.

People are always like, "You should get out!" Well, I would really like to know how the heck I am supposed to do that by myself with two five month old babies, a two year old and an almost four year old. People just do not get it.

I think this twin stuff can never truly be grasped until a person has lived through it. But we have to do it. And we will live through it. I hope.

But someone asked about cloth diapers, and I use them. They save me a lot of money. Well worth it.

[3belles]

I was in your situation 2 years ago. DD was 23 months, the twins were newborns. It's a haze, so much so, I don't know how to answer this thread BUT, I am okay now. I have a great job, a flex schedule, and all the time I need for my family and my sanity. This is all fleeting. Take a minute each day to stare at them. They are amazing, and it changes so quick. The dishes will get done in a few months.