I have a 22 month who has some pretty aggressive buddies. He loves to be around these other toddlers, but I have been concerned with the behavior of two of his friends. Both of these other toddlers like to push other toddlers for no really good reason and they also just take toys out of the hands of other kids and run away with them. Now while I understand that these toddlers are just naturally this way and cannot help it to some extent, I do believe that the parents are responsible for doing the right thing. One of the mothers has made a huge point to make sure her daughter says 'I'm sorry' and so forth, but her daughter is so aggressive that sometimes she will push my son to the ground before a parent can intervene. The other mother doesn't seem to react that much. She says her son is a 'silent bully' in a way that makes it seem like she thinks it is a cute quirk of behavior. When her son pushes my son against furniture or takes a toy my son goes to this mother, points and tries to convey what just happened, but she just tells my son to get the toy back. In other words, she wants my son to learn to be aggressive back. This mother is also a bit of a 'know it all type', very dominating herself and confident. She likes to make comments about how my son is on the small side. Little does she know that although my son isn't the largest toddler he is very strong and could push her son if he wanted to, but he inhibits his aggression for whatever reason. In fact, everyone in our family (I have two older kids) tend to have strong personalities, but inhibit their aggressive impulses. My school aged children have always had great behavior in school, but do encounter bullies on occasion with whom they choose to ignore. I have to admit that I detest bullying behavior and when I see it in toddlers I expect the parents to stop it, but sometimes they don't and I wonder if it is because they almost like that their child appears dominant. Although my child doesn't appear to be the type, if he were to begin bullying others I would put my foot down immediately. At this point I wonder how I should go about dealing with these toddlers and their mothers...I feel if I say something to the mothers they will get defensive. I don't know if I should just get the toy back for my son. Conflict almost seems inevitable. I could try to avoid these moms, but one lives next door so that is next to impossible.
post #1 of 34
8/21/10 at 12:03pm