Help! A non-single parent needs advice IRT sports notification

[lerlerler]

My husband is a new volunteer soccer coach and got his new team roster last week - it turns out we know one child well - and she has parents that do not get along - headed to court AGAIN.. I THINK they have joint custody, i KNOW they split the week Mon-wed wed-fri and every other weekend.

Parent A signed up daughter and is listed as contact - Parent A also listed Parent B (without phone number) in the parent box. DH called Parent A a week ago and felt that Parent A should tell Parent B (right or wrong he felt it wasn't proper to call the parent not listed as a contact).

Fast forward to today, Parent B called me as a friend upset that the daughter was not on a team... Can DH call the second parent? Should he? check with league rules? I see both sides...

And would it matter if Parent A were the Dad and Parent B the Mom?

[lerlerler]

Need to bump because I'm seeing Parent B in 30 minutes!!!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Does the child know she's signed up? Are there going to be games/practices during parent B's parenting time?

The obvious solution is for the child to tell her father, otherwise your husband should go over the rules of the league and what he can/can't do.

It sounds like they have joint custody form the visitation arrangement, but courts don't like joint with parents that fight that much, so its hard to say. Anyway, you aren't the coach, so you shouldn't be mentioning anything to parent B anyway - its not your place even if your dh can.

Just commiserate, and maybe suggest parent B talk to parent A about the situation - without hinting that parent A already signed up the child.

[lerlerler]

Thanks. Practices are on Parent A's custody but games are on Saturdays and in three weeks the Mom will have to know or it will be missed.

Yup, I know I can't say anything... I'm hoping that the league lady will get back to DH NOW and HE tells her soon. Because although I like the Mom? when it comes to the Dad? She's not sane... she'll end up REALLY mad if we spend 4 hours together without me mentioning it. But I'll do the right thing

[Super~Single~Mama]

If she gets mad at YOU - tell her you didn't know. You're not the one with access to the roster, your dh is. Who cares if you really did know? It doesn't matter.

It really sucks when parents can't get along. It's super hard. I feel REALLY bad for the child - its got to be 100x harder for her.

[lerlerler]

The child is a sweetheart and the only reason I deal with their crap and socialize with BOTH (and listen to the crap they spew) is that MOST of her friends refuse to deal with EITHER parent... and the girl deserves friends who cross the great divide.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Wow. Well, I'm sure after practices start up, and the child doesn't want to miss a game she'll tell her mom. If it doesn't come out before then.

Poor kid. My ex is a royal UAV, but I try SUPER hard to be civil so that ds doesn't have to deal with parents who hate each other outwardly. Inwards its hard not to have hard feelings, but I'm getting better at it.

Props to you though for being gracious towards the child.