Pacifier weaning question

[Snapdragon]

For those who use a paci with their baby, At what age is it good to start weaning a baby from a pacifier?
My ds is 5 months and I have found a paci to be very useful. In the very beginning we used it a lot. Now we use it to help get to sleep, or to help calm him if he is over stimulated. But generally less than the first couple of months. So it feels like a natural progression. He is also teething and so likes to have lots of teething toys in his mouth all day.

Any tips on when and how to wean the paci when we are ready to? I think he is little enough that it still feels useful and helpful to us right now. But I want to have some idea of what to do in the future. I am thinking I will just see how it goes and slowly give it to him less and less as he gets older. But I am curious of other people's experiences of being happy using the pacifier for their baby, and then having a peaceful transition away from it when the time was right.

[Oliver's Mama]

If both you and baby are happy with the paci usage, then stick with what works. The age to wean is different for everyone... but I certainly wouldn't worry at five months. Developmentally, I think once a baby is starting to talk, then the paci should be left for sleep time only.
Starting around one year, we did it gradually with ds1- the first step was no paci allowed out of the house except in the car, then no paci in the car, then only a paci when going to sleep or nap. Lucky for me, one night I forgot to give it to him at bedtime and he went to sleep without it. We went cold-turkey at that point. My one big regret on that is that he gave up napping because of it, and he was only 22 months. In retrospect, I would have continued with the pacifier longer- having it at home to fall asleep with wasn't really hurting; I was just worried about the stigma of a 2 year old with a paci; but who cares about relatives and strangers- they're not the ones who have to deal with a sleep deprived toddler ALL DAY.
Also, since I got rid of it at an age where he understood what was going on, I got him involved in the process.. I let him be the one to officially throw it in the trash can, and since it was a "lovey", we got him a replacement "lovey" stuffed animal to sleep with.

[Llyra]

My stance on pacifier use has always been that as long as the paci isn't interfering with breastfeeding, I'll allow my kids to give it up in their own good time. I do place limits on its use, but not in infancy. The need to suck is so very strong during that time. My DS never took a paci, and my girls did, and the girls I felt were so lucky to have that resource to go to for comfort, because with three kids I'm not always available right away for comfort.

Anyway, with DD1, at 18 months I limited its use to sleep. She could have it during the day, but she needed to sit on the bed to have it, and once she got out of bed, she had to give it back to me. She gave it up naturally somewhere around the time she turned 4, and it was a very peaceful letting-go.

My DD2 is 3 1/2 now. I limited it to bed at about 2-- waited longer with her, because she seemed to need it more than DD1 did, plus DD2 had an early weaning because of my own illness. She's now stopped wanting it at night, and only uses it to nap in the afternoon.

So my answer is-- I wouldn't be thinking about it right now. If you see baby's need for it gradually decrease, then think about limiting its use-- to the house, then to bedtime, etc. But if baby still derives comfort from it, I see no reason to focus on parent-led weaning from it.

The best research from dentists tells us that a child should stop regular paci usage by the preschool years, to avoid orthodontic issues. There is a huge variety of opinion on that issue, though. Frankly, my kids are going to wind up needing orthodontic work regardless, so it's not a battle I feel like fighting.

[Tway]

DD is 10 months and uses the paci for sleep and the odd occasion when she's whiny in a place where we need to be quiet. So we're still going strong over here!

However, a friend of mine decided to help her 3 year old drop the paci last year. Around Christmastime, they put it in a box with a letter to Santa, explaining that she was a big girl now and wanted to trade her paci in for a nice gift. Mom and Dad bought something special for her, and she hasn't needed the paci since. I guess a combination of being old enough to reason and old enough to sleep without the "crutch".

ETA: I had a ton of guilt over giving DD a paci in the first place--I'd swore I'd never use it, pre-baby. But she's a sleep fighter (or, rather, an awake-liker) and it really helps her transition to sleep, and it makes all our lives more peaceful. So I dropped the guilt and embraced the paci. I don't know why there's so much controversy surrounding it...?

[Knitting Mama]

My Cecilia doesn't take a paci, but I remember my sister's method for weaning her kids off and it worked really well, so it really stuck with me. Around 3 for both of them, she talked to them about babies who really need toys and pacis, and they packed up toys they weren't using in one box, the pacis in a bag, and went to Target to buy new pacis (because babies need a lot of pacis). They donated toys and new pacis to the women's and children's shelter, and my sister discretely threw away the used pacis. It worked so well and at 3 the kids really felt like they were helping other children.

[tzs]

Originally Posted by Tway

DD . But she's a sleep fighter (or, rather, an awake-liker)

i love this!!!!! i have a sleep-fighter too..or at least i used to. now i officially have an "awake-liker!"

[Snapdragon]

Tway I agree- I don't know why it is controversial either! I have heard many people say the same thing that you said- about having guilt giving their baby the paci. I am not sure why though. I never felt that, because I always felt that he had this inherent need to suck and that a paci was designed for that. It helps him to feel calm. The only part of it I guess I feel guilty about though is that he is sucking on plastic a lot. I am not a big plastic person!So there is that. We tried the rubber ones but in the beginning they were too big and didn't work for him. Now I am not sure but we have since lost them, the rubber ones.

But other than the plastic thing, I think people have been using pacis with babies for such a long time because they are helpful to the baby and fill a need.

[RiverandJulie]

I agree with the guilt over paci. I was never going to use one, and now I wonder why I thought that. I have a high-needs baby, and the paci helps ALOT. Now he is a sleep-fighter/awake lover too.
I have heard that at around 6 months, they start to lose the sucking reflex and that is the best time to wean them. I have had several friends tell me that their kids just lost interest in it around that time.

My ds is 8 months (but just around 6 months adjusted age) and he is using it less and less. I keep saying that when we get through our current struggle we will try taking it away, but each struggle just leads into a new one (teeth, a cold, sleep-fighting.....)
ALthough, He is at the ppint that he only uses it for sleeping.

I am personally opposed to him having the paci after about 18 months. I see my neice at 3 1/2 and the paci seems to be a constant fight. She was staying with us last week and it dropped under our deck and she had a total meltdown. She is always sneaking them downstairs when they are supposed to be in her bed etc.....

But, I also only have the 8 mo, and as I learn, my opinions change as he grows.

[Nicole730]

Well, we're down to one, so we might be done with it soon. We pretty much only use it if she is fussy in the car or needs it to fall asleep. She does not care to nurse to sleep...it's very weird.

[ErinYay]

V is 8 months, and I simply do not have the mental or emotional energy to even consider paci-weaning at this point. If she sticks with it, we'll probably start limiting it to naps/bedtime at 12ish months, but hopefully by 18 months.

[canadianhippie]

I was not going to use the paci either but he's had it since birth from the nicu and after him pacifying him self on my nipples until they were painful, cracked and bleeding, paci was definetly in. It helped him sleep and calm down, helped my stress when he was whimpery and loud. He's nearly a year and only takes it for naps and bedtimes and sometimes when he hurts himself. I planned to have him off by a year, but he's weaned himself to only bedtimes so Im going to let it alone for a while and see what he does, your LO is still so young, they still have a strong sucking attachment at that age, dont they? Just play it by year and see how your baby weans off, that's what my little guy has done and he had it alot and since birth.


o forgot to mention, in the no-cry sleep solution, she tells about transitioning the suck to sleep routine, maybe you can grab it from the library if you want to start weaning? Nothing wrong with it if it works out for you

[junipermuse]

Both my kids used a binky as infants. My dd gave hers up on her own at around 8 months. She just started pulling it of her mouth and throwing it on the floor. With ds I weaned him from it at 6 months. I decided to go cold turkey with it at the same time I was weaning him out of the swaddle (also went cold turkey). The problem was that when I tried getting him to sleep unswaddled he would pull his pacifier out of his mouth and wake himself up. So I just started rocking him to sleep without either. Or I would pat him in his crib. It took about 2 weeks for him to adjust, but then he went back to sleeping really well.

[JudiAU]

My babies are done with it when they don't want them any more. We limit around 2 to naptime but otherwise it is free object. Little people need to suck.

[Maela]

Dd LOVED hers! She was a really fussy baby. I wouldn't go anywhere without it until she was about 7 months old. Then she started taking it out and playing with it more than using it. So at 8 months I stopped offering it. She was fine. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I think you'll just know when they're not really needing it anymore.

Ds was also a fussy baby, only he never took it - even though I tried.