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I wish I wasn't so embaressed - Page 2

post #21 of 90
I'm sorry you were embarrassed, OP. I agree that there is no easy way to tell someone about a complaint such as this, so while it made you feel crummy, I don't think your boss was out of line, necessarily. I wouldn't quit, unless I didn't need the money - b/c jobs are really hard to find.

I use Tom's of Maine unscented deodorant, and honestly, I think I do smell a bit some days - like others said, when I wear synthetic fabrics (not often, but even blended material) or it is extra hot and I'm more active. I worry about what I smell like to others, and as much as perfume makes me ill, I can see how B.O., even hints of it, can make others sick to their stomach - especially in the food service industry. When I start my clinicals at a hospital in a few months, I will probably start to use an anti-perspirant those days, even though I don't like the idea, and I certainly don't want one with strong scents. But just as it made me sick when nurses had just smoked, or used a fragrant handwash when I was in the hospital, if I happened to sweat and have any odor, natural or not, it may very well bother a patient. Oh, and I shower every. single. day - but I'm still not immune to being smelly!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMommy2 View Post

I am very sensitive to smells. When I get my coffee, and people use their whole hand instead of just fingers, to put the lid on... I can totally taste and smell their soap/lotion. It totally ruins the coffee for me.
same here. I really hate that - it's even worse b/c the lids are plastic. I have to take them off, which isn't very convenient when in the car.
post #22 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.
Well, to reiterate what a few others have said, just because you, or your friends and family, don't find your smell unpleasant, doesn't mean that others genuinely don't. You also have to realize that you and the people closest to you are used to your smell. Co-workers at a new job are not. So, I guess I'm saying I don't think it's fair to discount their complaints or portray them as being uptight. I think that a combo of "natural BO" and patchouli can be a really strong smell, and I don't doubt that they really did find the odor offensive, ykwim?
post #23 of 90
I'm just chiming in to say that I agree with PP who said to try unscented toms of maine, Jason, or the crystals for odor control. I have used all three and enjoyed them. If you are looking for an essential oil that masks and blends with natural body odor really well, I have experimented with Sandal Wood for quite some time... I can go 10+ days (I do a lot of camping) without a proper shower and wear nothing but a single dab Sandal Wood in each pit and receive tons of compliments on my smell... and I can be quite a smelly gal at times! Mixing Sandal Wood with vanilla gives it a feminine touch, as well.

Plus, imo, Sandal Wood would go great with the smell of coffee!
post #24 of 90
I would be upset if I went into a coffee shop and could smell an employee, especially one dealing with something I was consuming.

My sister in law doesn't always shave, rarely uses deoderant, and doesn't shower frequently. She smells. People notice. I've had people mention it to me when I have gatherings at my house. It's embarrassing for ME and I smell ok!

I don't think anyone has to just accept your natural body odor. You like it? Fine. Others don't. I do not like smelling other people's body odors, it's very off putting.
post #25 of 90
Well, the job description advertising the job I have made it clear that you needed to make sure you smelled good on the job. Apparently it had been an issue with past holder's of the job. So I tend to go overboard to make sure that breath, body, feet, don't offend. But then I work exclusively with pregnant women and we all know how scent sensitive they can be.

So I have to smell unoffensive, but also not any strong scents that also might put off. So I use some good smelling mild soap and Tom's of Maine deodorant. I stick to citrus and lemongrass scents, which don't seem to bother anyone. I have some I take to work to reapply if its a long or hot day. I brush my teeth often and take some Burt's Bees mints with me all the time. I think when you work in a job that serves the public, the boss has the right to make sure their service/products is what clients remember and not your odor.

I feel for you boss though. What is the "good way" to tell someone this? I am not sure I would do a good job trying to tell someone they needed to wash more or use some deodorizing products. The fact is that Americans culturally do not accept the typical human scent. That is not going to change.

For many, body odor implies a lack of cleanliness. I know this is not true, just saying that in a food service industry customers want to know their food/coffee is being made by someone who is personally clean.

How bad do you want the job? I would say find natural products that work for you and keep you out of the boss's radar. And at least for a few weeks, consider reapplying at lunch to make sure there are no further complaints.
post #26 of 90
Thread Starter 
To some PP's- I wasn't trying to portray my boss and fellow employees has "uncool" or out of line in this particular situation. I do understand why this was a problem and I do give my boss credit for telling me such an uncomfortable thing in as nice of way as possible.

I do feel bad that I might have offended some people but I also feel bad that I was looked down upon because I do not fit in with the cultural norm.

I agree with the PP's who said they don't like the smell of hand lotion or soaps (I hate them) that get on your coffee cups and thats what you get to smell for the rest of your drink or what have you. But my body smell doesn't stick to other people or things like some chemical fragrance.

Yes, I understand it is hard to judge your own smell, I agree. But I do know the difference between smelling dirty and just plain having normal body smell, KWIM?

I am not saying that other people are in the wrong to having an aversion to a smell, I am just bummed that I can't be myself out and about in society.

I am not a dirty person, I am very polite and respectful and just wish people didn't get all up in arms about some pretty small things, that is all.

Thanks for all of the replies ladies (even the not so nice ones)
post #27 of 90
I've been on the other side of this issue. Needing to inform an employee that his body odor was unpleasant for others- coworkers and clients. He chalked it up to diet and stress- that he was about to get married (stress) and had been eating meat. Honestly, I didn't care what the cause was, I just wanted him to smell less! He was unpleasant to be in small spaces with, just normal sweat smell that had been on him for too long. I *like* the smell of clean sweat, but can't tolerate the smell of sweat that has been around for too long!

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in that your boss is probably as embarassed as you. If you want to keep this job, just do whatever it is to keep yourself odor free- free of any scents whatsoever, for the time you need to be at work and not to bring it up again.
post #28 of 90
I have a very sensitive nose. I don't care for strong synthetic fragrances, but neither do I care for body odors. My DH has a terrible sense of smell and never used an anti-perspirant or deodorant because he didn't think he needed it. During our first humid summer together, I reassured him that he did! He was surprised. He's not a dirty person...he showers at least daily and wears clean clothes, usually all-cotton shirts. But his pits can be MUSTY as heck! It's a total turnoff. He just sweats a lot. I secretly pity the people he's been working with for the past eight years. I'm sure at least a few of them noticed his BO and just didn't say anything.

I've also been in the position of having to counsel a former subordinate in the workplace who had bad body odor. Her problem was lack of hygiene, which is a totally different story. But yeah, it's not cool to smell strongly of anything when you work with the public. I currently serve in a restaurant and I use crystal deodorant and no perfume/cologne. Customers want to smell their food and drink, not the people around them.
post #29 of 90
I, too have known people who shower but have very strong BO. And I kind of disagree that it doesn't' linger. To me it can be quite nauseating and persistent.

I don't really know about this case for a 'normal' smell. I would assume that forever people have been experimenting with various things to alter their scent. But maybe I'm wrong.
post #30 of 90
I'm sorry you were embarrassed OP, but if you smell strongly enough for others to notice you then it's time to do something different about it. I find that Dove has some of the lightest and most pleasant scents on the market. I'd really rather just smell like "fresh" than a garbage pit (and I do stink something fierce naturally) for all to catch a whiff of.
post #31 of 90
i think there is a difference between a natural body scent and body odor.

A natural body scent is a clean body without any artificial fragrances.

Body odor can occur on a clean body - when bacteria starts breeding in moist areas - groin, arm pits, scalp etc... You can be clean but, if you develop moisture from perspiring, you run the risk of developing a very unpleasant odor.

And, if people are noticing and complaining, I'd say you've crossed the line from pleasant natural body scent to body odor.

Personally, I've had great luck with the crystal deodorant stone. I've also used alcohol in the past - straight rubbing alcohol works wonders in clearing the bacteria that causes odor and preventing it from returning.

The crystal stone works the same way - the salt prevents bacteria from growing, therefore preventing odor. The stone keeps me stink free for 24 hours at least.

I know others have had luck with witch hazel but, it never worked for me.

I'm a super sweaty stinky gal from the AZ desert and after having tried nearly everything, I vote for the crystal.
post #32 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.
Respectfully, since bad and good are purely subjective terms, you can't say that it's a fact that you don't smell bad. I can't say that it's a fact that the dinner that I made is good: it's my opinion that it tasted good, but your opinion may differ. You might not have liked some of the key ingredients, maybe you thought it was too spicy, maybe you think that the flavors didn't go together. Similarly, while your opinion (and the opinion of your friends and family) is that you don't smell bad, apparently enough of your customers disagreed to talk to the manager about it.

When you work in the service industry, part of the job is just plain old appeasing customers. I can't tell you how many really nasty, rude, mean people I have served in my life with a big smile on my face and a "thank you, have a nice day." It's just part of the job that I have to not be "me" in that situation (since "me" would tell them where they could put their attitude), and to be what the job requires. If you are handling other people's food, I think it's fair that customers ask that you not have a strong odor, whether natural or artificial.
post #33 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by lach View Post
Similarly, while your opinion (and the opinion of your friends and family) is that you don't smell bad, apparently enough of your customers disagreed to talk to the manager about it.
The OP said it was a couple of coworkers that complained, not customers.
post #34 of 90
Perhaps I am Too American in my beliefs, but I don't want to smell anyone unless I'm hugging them! Any smell is too much for me. Perfume, deodorant, bo, mouth odor, essential oils, anything!
I think smells should be reserved for the intimate circle only.

I do think some people confuse patchouli and BO smell. That's a problem if you use patchouli for cover.
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post #35 of 90
Certain Dri was rated really well by the Cosmetics Database. http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/pro...irant_Roll-On/

I use it once or twice a week and am pretty much sweat/odor free. I use homemade coconut oil deodorant on other days and sometimes spritz with alcohol after I shower. I was having issues with b.o. when I was only doing alcohol and homemade deodorant. My shirts harbored some bacteria or something, because the second I started sweating (I sweat quite a bit when nervous or stressed...gross) or if I was warm from physical activity, my shirts would smell, even if I was freshly showered.

I treated the tshirts with an overnight soak in oxyclean (and do so once a month or so) and with my new underarm routine, I am totally stink free. It is such a relief, because I was really embarrassed about it. I was originally worried about toxins from using an antiperspirant, but I couldn't deal with being embarrassed anymore.
post #36 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
I do feel bad that I might have offended some people but I also feel bad that I was looked down upon because I do not fit in with the cultural norm.

I agree with the PP's who said they don't like the smell of hand lotion or soaps (I hate them) that get on your coffee cups and thats what you get to smell for the rest of your drink or what have you. But my body smell doesn't stick to other people or things like some chemical fragrance.

Yes, I understand it is hard to judge your own smell, I agree. But I do know the difference between smelling dirty and just plain having normal body smell, KWIM?

I am not saying that other people are in the wrong to having an aversion to a smell, I am just bummed that I can't be myself out and about in society.

I am not a dirty person, I am very polite and respectful and just wish people didn't get all up in arms about some pretty small things, that is all.

I also work in a coffee house. We aren't allowed to wear anything stronger than soap and deodorant. Part of the "taste" of coffee is it's smell, and anything that I do to give customers a scent besides their coffee can be offensive.

Many people's "normal body smell" makes me gag, I had a good friend growing up who smelled musty and moldy. I love her, but can't stand too close to her.

Hope you figure out an answer to your situation.
post #37 of 90
I only had time to skim the replies but wanted to give you my input.
I, too, am VERY chemical senstitive. Synthetic smells give me headaches and nausea. I also cannot stand the scent of patchouli. I was thinking that maybe it's the combo of body odor + patchouli that's turning people off.

Here's what I use, as I'm aware of my "body smell" and near my period it's worse. My normal body odor isn't that bad, but even I don't like smelling it.

In the summer when it's very hot I use Tom's of Maine Crystal Confidence 24 hr odor protection in unscented. I use this daily after I get out of the shower and it works really good for me. It's a roll on and has to have time to dry. I have used other Tom's of Maine deodorants and they did not work at all for me, but this one does. My dh said it does not work at all for him though

In the winter and for dh I make a spray deodorant that works well when sprayed on freshly cleansed skin (before you start sweating). And sometimes a freshening spray oce or twice thru out the day if I'm really sweating. 50/50 rubbing alcohol and witch hazel. You can add some drops of EO. I use either peppermint or lavender. This works well but usually needs to be reapplied at least once. You can keep a small spray bottle in your bag and just spritz in the bathroom if you catch a whiff of yourself.
post #38 of 90
I only had time to skim the replies but wanted to give you my input.
I, too, am VERY chemical senstitive. Synthetic smells give me headaches and nausea. I also cannot stand the scent of patchouli. I was thinking that maybe it's the combo of body odor + patchouli that's turning people off.

Here's what I use, as I'm aware of my "body smell" and near my period it's worse. My normal body odor isn't that bad, but even I don't like smelling it.

In the summer when it's very hot I use Tom's of Maine Crystal Confidence 24 hr odor protection in unscented. I use this daily after I get out of the shower and it works really good for me. It's a roll on and has to have time to dry. I have used other Tom's of Maine deodorants and they did not work at all for me, but this one does. My dh said it does not work at all for him though

In the winter and for dh I make a spray deodorant that works well when sprayed on freshly cleansed skin (before you start sweating). And sometimes a freshening spray oce or twice thru out the day if I'm really sweating. 50/50 rubbing alcohol and witch hazel. You can add some drops of EO. I use either peppermint or lavender. This works well but usually needs to be reapplied at least once. You can keep a small spray bottle in your bag and just spritz in the bathroom if you catch a whiff of yourself.
post #39 of 90
I haven't had time to read all the replies, but yeah, esp in a service or retail industry, body smell is no good, even if it's a good, healthy smell. Same goes for too-strong scents like oils or perfume, so I wouldn't go that way either. If you don't shower before your shift, can you at least wash up with a cloth under your arms and then either dust with baking soda, or rub in some TTO or coconut oil?

I do not use deodorant anymore. I just use virign coconut oil and I do not smell unless it's the end of a REALLY long, hot, sweaty day. And if you feel you need to reapply in the middle of your shift to keep things under control, you can bring a little container of it with you in your bag. No one has to know.

So sorry you were embarrassed. It happens to everyone, some way or another, at some point or another...
post #40 of 90
I have been the manager that has to tell someone that people are complaining about their - body odor, patchouli oil, smoke lingering on their clothes, strong perfume, etc. It is not fun. There is no nice way to do it, the best you can do is not do it in front of other people and get it over as quickly as possible.

What smells good or even acceptable is different to different people. You keep saying that you while you do have A smell, it is not a BAD smell - but in the same posts you complain about things other people find good-smelling that you dislike so clearly it is all subjective.

In my experience, people complain about body odor and body product odor equally which is why a lot of service jobs (retail, food) have details about fragrance in their dress codes now.
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