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I wish I wasn't so embaressed - Page 3

post #41 of 90
I have been the employee that has complained to my boss about a co-worker's body odor. And to be honest, it was ROUGH to have to make that complaint. There were a group of us that went, and we all had to work up the nerve. If you had several co workers go to your boss within 3 days of work, I would have to gently suggest that your reconsider your belief that the odor you know you have isn't bad. I wouldn't know since I am not in your presence.

I will say, patchouli is probably one of the worst scents to me. I just can't stand it. Like others have mentioned, the mixing of that with any measure of BO is the most likely culprit. It's likely something I would complain to my boss about. Also, I would like to suggest taking a look (or sniff?) at what you are washing or storing your clothes with. It's also entirely possibe that it's not you at all, but your clothes. It could be a detergent you are using, or if your clothes are in a closet with clothes from someone who smokes (I assume not, just using it as an example) or something like that, it could be that your clothing as picked up a scent that isn't working for folks. I had a coworker once who's shirts always smelled mildewy, because their laundry room was in their basement and even after washing, they retained that scent.

I am going to suggest skipping the patchouli, try an unscented antipersperant, and not quitting your job over it.
post #42 of 90
hugs. i'm sorry you had to go through that. honestly, i just wouldn't put any more energy into feeling embarrassed or upset over it. it's really not a big deal in the scheme of life, and it's nothing that can't be fixed with little effort. hugs to you.
post #43 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by amcal View Post
I've also used alcohol in the past - straight rubbing alcohol works wonders in clearing the bacteria that causes odor and preventing it from returning.
i've used this too & just added a few drops of lavender. i put it in a spray bottle & just apply after showering. it works great.

i currently make my own deodorant, but the BS is irritating to a lot of people.
post #44 of 90
Is there a place you could work that would embrace your natural smell and your right to smell that way? A good friend of mine is lovingly known by her co-workers as "Compost Pits". She works at a natural foods co-op
post #45 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post
Well, to reiterate what a few others have said, just because you, or your friends and family, don't find your smell unpleasant, doesn't mean that others genuinely don't. You also have to realize that you and the people closest to you are used to your smell. Co-workers at a new job are not. So, I guess I'm saying I don't think it's fair to discount their complaints or portray them as being uptight. I think that a combo of "natural BO" and patchouli can be a really strong smell, and I don't doubt that they really did find the odor offensive, ykwim?
I totally agree. My own sister, who I love to pieces, has a natural smell that I do not find pleasing. It isn't just armpit odor either, it is just her natural smell and if she doesn't shower for a couple days I can really smell it. Obviously her husband is not bothered by it!!

So just because you don't think you smell "bad" that doesn't mean your natural odor is really pleasant for everyone you interact with, that includes people you work very closely with behind the counter. I am certainly not trying to be mean or make you feel badly, it just is what it is. I will agree that I am not a fan of perfume either, I almost can't stand it when a woman or man is wearing perfume/cologne and they want to hold my baby because I just want to take her give her a bath immediately because I don't want her smelling like their fragrance! I've been in a very nice hotel before and the pillow, even in a clean case, smelled so strongly of perfume that I called the lobby and complained and told them to get rid of the pillow.

ANY strong smell, natural or synthetic isn't really great in my book.
post #46 of 90
I will also chime in as finding patchouli unpleasant, without or with any natural body smell mixed with it. I'm sorry you were embarrassed. Lots and lots of good advice here on natural ways to handle the situation.
post #47 of 90
Auroara Bobcat, I hope you weren't scared away.
post #48 of 90
Thread Starter 
No, I wasn't scared away for good Some people's posts were a little harsh for me but whatever I cannot control that.

I quit my job, it's not like I totally needed it, but I am still bummed that the whole thing happend at all. Perhaps I am just a little sensitive and I really didn't know to what extent until now

Thanks for all of the responses.

Oh and to the PP that suggested that I smell like a "garbage" pit, that was totally rude and not appreciated.
post #49 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by makalani View Post
Is there a place you could work that would embrace your natural smell and your right to smell that way? A good friend of mine is lovingly known by her co-workers as "Compost Pits". She works at a natural foods co-op
I work at a volunteer-run natural food coop. While there are one or two volunteers who have the occasional foul-smelling BO, most have no smell or no unpleasant smell. I really don't want to be mean, but I don't like working around people who have a strong smell (whether it's from their body, from essential oils, or from artificial products). In some ways, it's simply a matter of courtesy. Unless you're trying to make a cultural statement or effect cultural change, in which case you're probably just going to have to deal with any backlash.
post #50 of 90
I have to say I'm really surprised that so many people think natural body odor is foul. I haven't worn deodorant for years because it does.not.work on my body and so what if I smell like a woman. That is how women are supposed to smell!

And for the record I'd rather smell my DH's BO than some of the nasty sprays he's purchased over the years. His smell is sexy the spray's make me want to vomit.

I wonder if the complainers were women who couldn't handle your sexy natural pheromones?

Honestly I'd quit too.
post #51 of 90
This has been the best deodorant that I have ever used! I have tried Tom's and a number of other Crystal/liquid Crystal deodorant and it was a no go. This seems to work the best. You can add EO but as others have stated I would caution against Patchouli for work days. I have Lavender for work and Patchouli for home Good Luck
post #52 of 90
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
I have to say I'm really surprised that so many people think natural body odor is foul. I haven't worn deodorant for years because it does.not.work on my body and so what if I smell like a woman. That is how women are supposed to smell!

And for the record I'd rather smell my DH's BO than some of the nasty sprays he's purchased over the years. His smell is sexy the spray's make me want to vomit.

I wonder if the complainers were women who couldn't handle your sexy natural pheromones?

Honestly I'd quit too.
Finally, thank you! Yes, it was a woman who said something, and I have wondered if it was because I may have intemidated them with my "sexy natural pheromones"

That IS how women are suppose to smell. Thanks for the boost in confidence.
post #53 of 90
I have never complained to a boss about a coworker's scent, but I did once work with a lady who made me gag to be around. It wasn't because she didn't wear deodorant. She just never showered and was open about it. It was so bad (and I worked on the hospital floor) that even patients often complained. I don't have a problem with people who don't wear deodorant-I often don't as well and I HATE synthetic fragrances 99% of the time. I am more likely to complain about perfume smell than BO. I would say the patchouli is probably not helping more than anything-a lot of people can not stand it. I can tolerate small amounts but sometimes it's so strong that it's as bad to me as synthetics. Could you try a more diluted form of another EO like lavender or sweet orange?

I also would recommend Tom's or just baking soda/ACV and a shower before you go to work. Most deodorants I find stinky and irritating and to have strong fragrances, but these things work well for me.

And I'm so sorry about your embarrassment! Being reprimanded at all for anything of the sort is always hard, but I would have died of embarrassment to be called back for that! I once got in trouble for having wrinkled scrubs. I had a young baby and had to go back to work 2 days after surgery, so I felt it was a little unfair and very embarrassing to get in trouble for something so silly! Hopefully you find something that will work for you.
post #54 of 90
interesting info here http://www.susangaer.com/studentprojects/hai.htm ps I realize there are some strange ones in there but hopefully something helpful too! YMMV!
post #55 of 90
Aww, thats terrible that your feelings were hurt! Funny, I'm usually the one who points it out if I smell bad! "O my gawd, I STINK!!" followed by laughter is something thats come from my mouth more than once after a hard sweaty day's work!! Your situation is different tho, b'c you said that you didn't think you even smelled, so... But, I went back and read this thread and I don't think that your boss was trying to tell you that you're dirty at ALL! Sounded to me like he just had a situation of complaints about body odor to handle and had to do his job, yk? Maybe the connection between complaints of body odor and him thinking less of you is in your own thinking and emotions? (I say that with complete compassion, I'm SO sensitive that I often read more into other's comments than is intended, and can spend weeks feeling distraught over someone's words, only to have someone point out that it was more a fact than a dis. I hope you find a job that you love and that you have been able to let this go emotionally a little more. It is awful to feel like people are talking about you and thinking less of you Sorry you had to deal with any of this. Oh, and I completely agree about synthetic fragrances. My neighbor is about my size and has a nasty shopping habit, so she often brings me bags of hardly used clothing. But, she's a smoker so she uses a really strong fabric softener, and it takes me about 5 passes thru the washer to get rid of the heavy perfume smell. Its not just me being delicate either, it bothers me to the point of headaches and nausea.

On a side note - I used to be a heavy coffee drinker... then switched to mostly teas and then to no coffee at all for many months. Now, whenever I have even one cup of coffee, I perspire so bad and it smells very bitter. I think thats so interesting. And when another pp had mentioned that her employee said his BO was due to him eating meat, it made me think of my own diet - I noticed that when I switched to a mainly (80%+) raw vegan diet, I didn't really sweat unless I was doing hardcore yoga or running or working outside in the summer, and then my BO smelled like clean sweat, not really bad BO. I think its pretty interesting. And also when I've had garlic with anything, my BO smells like garlic but from like 5 miles away lol!

Anyway, hope you're doing better now and that you land a great job that you love soon.
post #56 of 90
I think our society is so out of whack when it comes to 'cleanliness' the whole industry created and supported around smelling like a chemical bath is just too much for me. I would so much rather smell BO then hair freshly permed, a glade plug in, or cologne.

That said, if someone has 'bad' BO it is because they are sick, not eating the right things, or ingesting too many chemicals like coffee, nicotine, etc that the body is trying to get rid of. That I do notice and don't like to smell.

Me personally I shower 2 or 3 times a week, never wear any deodorant, have hairy pits and worked food service for 4 years, apprenticed to a midwife for 2 years, and taught yoga for 4 years without ever getting a single comment or complaint on BO.

I'm guessing it was the patchouli OP, patchouli actually smells like bad BO to me and a lot of other people. And it has a bad connotation because it is one of the 4 defining smells of hippie, 1)patchouli, 2)BO 3)garlic, 4) pot.
post #57 of 90
I'm sorry you were embarrassed like that. I hope you find a job where you "fit in".
I'm surprised at how many people hate the smell of patchouli, though. I have worn patchouli for years and people are always telling me how good I smell! I've even caught people picking up my scarves and sniffing them/holding them to their noses - and they weren't creepy stalkers or anything like that.
post #58 of 90
That must of been very hard.
Do you think that people could be as bothered by your scent as you are by a strong fake scent? You talk like those scents are horrible, but yet lots of people like them too and think the complete opposite from you. Everyone has their own smell regardless of what they do to cover it or not cover it. A scent (smell) is a scent (smell) and some like certain ones, some don't. You can't say you don't smell bad as that is pretty subjective for some individuals. Even cooking smells like oil and onions/garlic bother some, some love it and can't wait to eat, others are very put off by it.
Working closely with the public it would be considerate of you to think of their feelings about smells too, as you also have strong feelings you want others to be considerate of, just putting some thoughts out there, not trying to offend you more please know that.
post #59 of 90

Patchouli lovers unite!

Ok, so I bathe...everyday. I use not so natural deodorant. I've never had complaints about my smell....Except for my sweet brothers who used to tell me that no guy would EVER want to be with a girl who wears patchouli!!!

Nine years later, happily married to a patchouli loving man, noticing a distinct anti-patchouli feeling in this thread, I felt like saying a little something: my favorite coffee shops are full of cruchy vegan quiche, organic espresso, and yes! patchouli in the air! My suggestion to the original poster is to get a job at a place that you feel you belong! A place where you are accepted for who you are.

I like patchouli and coffee smell together! Maybe I'm in the minority, but ain't that why we are on MDC anyway?

I wish you all the best!
post #60 of 90
I was told one time by an employer that he could smell me. It was a total hippy dippy shop too. I was very embarrassed but I went to the restroom and washed my pits and was just mindful of it the rest of the day. I never use deoderant but I did purchase a little sampler of some and use that on certain days. I'm very wary of using deoderants because of the ingredients and Tom's only makes my smell worse.

I also cannot stand most synthetic perfumes and colognes. I find that offensive.
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