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I wish I wasn't so embaressed - Page 5

post #81 of 90

I think it was a rude to send you home. Did he pay you for the day? Um, I'm a pretty conservative looking, 40ish, suburban mom, and I would not be offended by someone's natural smell (BO or otherwise). He might of said people complained to give an excuse. I would forget what happened, and tell him if he wants to send you home again, he will have to pay you for the day. If he wants to fire you, he will have to pay for unemployment. And, if he wants to discuss your body again, he needs to have someone else present. I'm sure he was smelling the patchouli oil, and wasn't familiar w/ the smell. I think you would know if you had BO.  Ugh, this makes me mad. : ( 


post #82 of 90

This thread reminds me of when I was a very little child. I could smell my mother and my oldest sister. I mentioned that to someone (within the last ten or so years) and they started mocking my mother and sister, saying they had b.o. That really hurt because I knew it wasn't true. My mother and sister were clean. That keen sense of smell disappeared as I grew older, but people really do have odors that have nothing to do with stink. (I liked the smell of my mother and sister; it made me feel secure.)



This thread in a nutshell:

Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post

Odor is such a subjective thing -- what smells natural to you might smell really strong to someone else, many people don't like synthetic fragrances, many people don't like patchouli, etc. That more than one person noted your body odor that day tells me that maybe something else was going on. Do you have to wear a work shirt made out of synthetic fibers? Are you coming up on PMS week or in your cycle? Are you maybe coming down with something gastrointestinal, or a virus?

I've noticed that my odor changes a lot when I'm getting sick or when I'm getting my cycle. When I'm getting my cycle, it just gets stronger but isn't "bad," persay. When I'm getting sick, my body odor is just bad. But because it's me, I don't notice it as soon as other people might. I think this is true of most people. Your odor will change gradually, so your nose adjusts up to a certain point, but someone coming into your space for the first time will get hit with it all at once -- big difference!

I'd avoid strong-smelling cover-ups like patchouli, because a lot of people aren't fond of that scent, and it really doesn't mix with body odor (or coffee) very well. Something more neutral would probably work better, especially if you have to wear a synthetic fiber work shirt, since those hold odor so badly, and people tend to sweat a lot more when wearing something like that. There are deodorant brands that don't have a lot of crap in them, like Jason and Tom's of Maine. A deodorant crystal or Thai deodorant would be another good alternative, depending on your body chemistry. If you're really opposed to putting anything on your armpits, you may need to find a way to do a quick swipe with a wet washcloth every hour or so while at work.


Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post

Thanks Earthmama. I was wearing a synthetic shirt yesterday which could have added to my smell. That is probably what it was.

I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.

Nonetheless, I will try to temper my smell but not try to cover it up completly. I also will be quiting my job because of how embarressed I am and the fact that I feel hurt by my boss.

No customers complained, it was some employees. And even before this insident happend I was aware of one employee who was very rude to me (maybe because I smelled But I doubt it.)


Originally Posted by Annie Mac View Post

Personally, I would rather smell a person than some awful synthetic smell. Really, as long as people wash regularly, I don't see much of a problem. I know this is not the cultural norm though. Patchouli...I might avoid that. It's maybe not synthetic but it can still cause reactions in people and it's not really to everyone's liking, especially near food.

I don't have much else to add to what the other posters said, other to chime in my support for no deodorant. Also, reading that it was other employees reminds me of a job I had once in a large retail store. I had just returned from a year in Central America, was experiencing a bit of reverse culture shock & didn't have much money to spend, but I dressed appropriately...black pants, toed shoes (after a year in sandals), etc and did my job well. I found out from a friend whose gf I worked with that some employees had said I would "fit in better" if I just got a different pair of shoes that were more like theirs. Yeah. Like I wanted to fit in with people like that


post #83 of 90

I have had to send people home before for smelling. I've sent old ladies home for being too fake smelling as well as people who smelled like B.O.  I'm not sure what other way the manager could have done it. My canned speech was "I have noticed a smell of B.O. / strong perfume and I am worried it will affect your interactions customers and other employees, I am going to give you an opportunity to take the day off to address this, see you tomorrow!"


on a personal nose note, I feel like patchouli, sandelwood and cedar smell like B.O. I have know too many people who think it will just cover up their smell, and not it's ruined. Something fresher like citrus, or floral (no suggestions here, I am a cirtus person myself)


I agree with PPs synthetic material will make me smell HORRIBLE in like an hour. I would smell less if I wore a fitted cotton undershirt.

post #84 of 90

Just found this thread doing a search on BO...

I do not use deoderant either and I shower maybe three times weekly. I have recently had to have the deoderant convo with my pre-pubescent DD...she is starting to have BO and is really only aware of it because of her bio-dad's mother being a person who is super obsessed with "clean": shower daily, sometimes twice, scrub your womonly bits with soap, wear deoderized clothes over your scented lotioned body with deoderant and a spray of perfume....


That is not hwo we live. I bath my kiddos a couple of times a week, but teach them to wash their faces and parts when they wake in the morning so they stay and feel clean and fresh. We don't cover up with scents and perfumes and I don't use chemically laundry detergent (make my own or use Mrs. Meyers.)


So DD asked me to buy her deoderant after I threw away the Dove crap her dad bought for her. I got her some organic something or another at the co-op and told her that if she feels the need, then that is up to her, but she shouldn't let anyone dictate to her what she should smell like: so long as she is clean, it's not up to anyone else.


She brings the deoderant to school with her to wear after PE...that's about the only time she wears it and she is fine with her odor...and the hair growing on her body (which she has been told she HAS to shave off...grumble....)


So OP, I am sorry you went through that. I know how hard it must have been for you.


I will say that there is but one person on this planet who I have smelled patchouli on and loved...and he is still the only person I know of who can wear it and it doesn't smell like dirt. No, I am not romantically linked to him either ;-) use to be though :-D

post #85 of 90

What an awkward situation for you!

My two cents: the synthetic shirt didn't help,

and: have you changed your diet recently?

I'm vegetarian, but have gone through a few vegan episodes. One thing I noticed when my diet was vegan (mostly rice/beans/raw veggies) was I totally had no body odor whatsoever. You could bury your nose in my pits two hours after I went running and get nada. Now I eat a lot of sugar (can't get off the chocolate!) and I have to do SOMETHING especially in summertime. What works SUPER well for me is a baking soda paste, either mixed with water or some kind of oil you like, like jojoba oil is what I use, keep it in a jar. Easy, cheap, no deoderant, no chemicals, no smell, everyone is happy.

All of that said, it would be nice if we lived in a culture where people could be people and not barbie dolls...

If you don't want to quit and you can manage it, I would try to make light of it with the boss, to make you both feel comfortable again. "So, boss, do I smell ok today?" smiling a little. He will laugh, probably be embarassed for harrassing you, and communication channels will be open for both of you.

Good luck!

post #86 of 90

Your boss is an a**. I too have been told I stink at work (when I was a bartender) for smelling like patchouli. I had showered and used the crystal deodorant and then put on a couple of drops of patchouli oil. So after that I would use a more mild oil like lavender, jasmine or vanilla. Another poster suggested sandal wood which I agree would be a great smell with coffee. Right now I use coconut oil with a little cornstarch or baking soda (only occassionally or the bs causes a rash) or if I'm wearing dark clothes bentonite clay. *hugs* hopefully you don't quit and can get a good enough reference from this boss to get a job at a crunchier coffee shop if they have those in your town:)

post #87 of 90

my mother is obsessed with clean.  if i'm doing laundry, she'll come by and throw a ton of fabric softener in the load.  she complains that i only bathe my 12wk old ds (who has eczema) every 3 or 4 days.  she buys me smelly lotions that sit in the back of the bathroom cabinets.  i think... our culture is pretty screwy about being obessively "clean".  having a smell doesn't mean you're not clean.  your body secretes your own oils, it happens. The way it was described, it sounds more like her coworkers were more offended by someone different than someone offensively smelly.  It's totally rude the way some of these people commented, especially the garbage comment.  I totally know what your talking about when you say you have your own body smell... it's like, the smell from your skin.  it's not BO or sweat or anything, it's just the oils on your skin.  I say, if you can love your scent, rock it, man.

post #88 of 90

Vanessa, I am so sorry about what happened!!!!   Two words:  Funk Butter.  It works so unbelievably well, but it does irritate my skin if I use it daily.  And I am usually in the camp of those who get major stinky when wearing deoderant.  But not with Funk Butter!


I am TOTALLY with those who would rather smell natural body odor than chemical fragrances.  I just can't take it anymore.  Bounce dryer sheets and laundry detergent fragrances are the biggest offenders to me.  I wish there was some way to ban the stuff.  It just makes me ill.  Plus it's not good for the person surrounding themselves with it.  Is there anything that can be done to rid the world of dryer sheets!??!?


(That said, I am also not a fan of patchouli.  It is so strong.  Waft me up some lavender or tangerine oil, and I'm just fine.)


post #89 of 90

Natural body odor is BO. I am sorry but it is gross. When someone is serving coffee and food to me I do not want to smell their body odor, hair smell, aftershave, perfume or patchouli oil.. I want to smell nothing. There is unscented deodorant  anti-perperant and unscented soaps.  Take shower before work with some normal soap , use some unscented deodorant and you will not be embarrassed again.


If you works in a mainstream place, you have to comply with mainstream norms.

post #90 of 90

What is your motivation for posting?  This thread is almost a year and a half old. 

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