I don't know what we'd do without him, really. When I met him, DS was a very angry kid. Despite all my efforts including having him in counseling, he was having a rough time... he showed very little respect for me and rebelling even at his age. SO taught him and DD to respect me by the way he treats me... right down to good manners... they THANK me for making the day special for them. DS gives me real arms-around-me hugs again, like when he was little. He smiles more, he laughs more, he's happier. SO has gotten DD into the habit of actually tasting her food before deciding she doesn't like it (or that she does, on occasion)
Several months ago, DS needed braces... not just for aesthetics, there wasn't room for one of his adult teeth and it was going to fuse to his jaw. When emailed his birth dad and informed him, he refused to pay half the cost. SO shrugged and said he'd pull some extra shifts. DS's braces come off next month, his teeth look great. SO doesn't sleep well when either of the kids is sick, he's got an ear out for them, same as me.
SO thinks of cool things to do with the kids... he takes them for bike rides, he uses his airmiles to surprise them with movie tickets, etc. When there's a job around the house, he gets them to help out. He's patient and knows what to expect of them for their ages. DD gets separation anxiety when I go out, and he comforts her and texts me when she's feeling better.
But today, wow. I went to pick up a mysterious have-to-sign-for-it letter, which turned out to be from XH. It turns out that he's applying in court to "be excused from paying child support until August 2014" He's going to school. I have a feeling this means that he won't be paying child support as of... NOW. We knew this could happen at anytime. Still, having $650. less a month, that's a bit unnerving! SO's response? "Eh, we'll be okay. Don't worry." Yeah, but I'd be screwed without him.
I don't know why he puts up with it... a few years ago, after rent & groceries he spent his money on a sound system for his car or computer stuff... now it's braces and school supplies and a pink bike. He used to go out for sushi and go to the hot springs... now it's Mc Donald's and the spray park! He used to play violent computer games... now he plays Uno or Yahtzee, or if he's really lucky, My Little Pony memory! SO has had to make so many changes for us, but he's done it. He doesn't even seem to care that he has to deal with XH's crap, he just hates that I have to. He's amazing.
Several months ago, DS needed braces... not just for aesthetics, there wasn't room for one of his adult teeth and it was going to fuse to his jaw. When emailed his birth dad and informed him, he refused to pay half the cost. SO shrugged and said he'd pull some extra shifts. DS's braces come off next month, his teeth look great. SO doesn't sleep well when either of the kids is sick, he's got an ear out for them, same as me.
SO thinks of cool things to do with the kids... he takes them for bike rides, he uses his airmiles to surprise them with movie tickets, etc. When there's a job around the house, he gets them to help out. He's patient and knows what to expect of them for their ages. DD gets separation anxiety when I go out, and he comforts her and texts me when she's feeling better.
But today, wow. I went to pick up a mysterious have-to-sign-for-it letter, which turned out to be from XH. It turns out that he's applying in court to "be excused from paying child support until August 2014" He's going to school. I have a feeling this means that he won't be paying child support as of... NOW. We knew this could happen at anytime. Still, having $650. less a month, that's a bit unnerving! SO's response? "Eh, we'll be okay. Don't worry." Yeah, but I'd be screwed without him.
I don't know why he puts up with it... a few years ago, after rent & groceries he spent his money on a sound system for his car or computer stuff... now it's braces and school supplies and a pink bike. He used to go out for sushi and go to the hot springs... now it's Mc Donald's and the spray park! He used to play violent computer games... now he plays Uno or Yahtzee, or if he's really lucky, My Little Pony memory! SO has had to make so many changes for us, but he's done it. He doesn't even seem to care that he has to deal with XH's crap, he just hates that I have to. He's amazing.
He's right, though... I don't know how XH can feel good about who he is. Child support was the ONLY way he was contributing to the kids, he moved away, doesn't email them, wouldn't participate in a court-ordered report for better access, nothing. He's basically opting out anyway, I wish there was a way for him to do it officially.
