When you want to do/be too many things...

[eastkygal]

What do you do? What do you cut to keep from doing nothing well but doing several things mediocre?
Here is what I am into right now, and I'm needing to cut some things for health related reasons, and emotional ones.

1. 2 little girls I want to do things with them like we used to (too much TV viewing right now) Before my day was only caring for them.
2. homeschooling
3. wanting to bring in some income - I chose to be a birth professional (educator/doula) because I am passionate about birth and helping mothers. I love it!
4. writing - I also have a passion for writing and I have 2 blogs, submit fiction on a regular basis, just completed a radio documentary.
7. yogi - At least one hour of practice daily, and sometimes teaching.
5. housewife - I want to be home with the girls.
6. social life and time with DH - Um... I'd like to add that I guess.

Right now, trying to contribute to the finances has made some of my home duties more lax, or missed. Like I didn't get to canning our last harvest of tomatoes before they went to rot. My girls are watching more TV, though we don't have cable, so not a huge amount, but more than I would like. I really need to go through this house and organize it.
Maybe I'm just not managing time wisely. I don't know. I don't want to give up any of it.

[Vaske]

Your post reminded me of the book Refuse to Choose, by Barbara Sher, although it is more about exploring a very wide variety of interests than about keeping multiple balls in the air at once. One thing she says is to not worry about finishing a project to perfection, but to feel free to stop when you have gotten what you wanted out of it, or even to pause it indefinitely while you go on to other things. She also gives various lifestyle patterns for making time for your own interests while still earning a living. She points out that you can do things sequentially, instead of all at once.

One thing I do is to schedule most of the housework for Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, and leave the middle of the week more open for whatever projects I feel like working on, or for just resting if I need it.

[mumkimum]

I like to think big and plan for getting/being involved in all kinds of stuff - and then sit down with some paper and whittle away at what my main goals in each 'category' - figure out what I 'need' to do to feel like I'm getting what I want out of something I'm involved in. Helps me balance what's most important to myself, look at everything together.
Generally list-making helps me keep on top of what I need to do in short time frames, and I keep my big "who I am" goal-related type list bedside for looking and thinking about and possibly adjusting at the end of the day.


(so, say you went through your list and detailed what each of those things looked like to you, or your most important things to get out of them. . . it'll give you some hints at what to put more energy into more often, that you're already succeeding at something, that you need to change how you're going about something else. . . like for 'housewife' - if the main goal is being home with the kids and having time together, the tomatoes you didn't get to are really outside of that . . . a bummer (cause tomatoes are yummy ) but of limited importance in your 'grand scheme', especially if you were accomplishing something else at the time.)

That said, I can always use better-managed and focused time, and vaske's book rec. sounds really interesting.

[Juvysen]

[lolar2]

Every now and then, either because of a life change (such as a move or a new job) or because I just am getting overwhelmed, I have to pull back and re-group. This generally means that I stop doing everything except what is absolutely necessary for a couple of months, then add things back one at a time as I find I miss them. For instance, we just moved and DS's preschool hasn't started yet and my school isn't in session, so I have been focusing on getting the house in order and keeping him safe and healthy. I didn't know if I would miss school or hobbies or what.... I'm finding I miss working most of all. So my next step is that I am going to look for a job. Then after I have that sorted out, I might start working on school.... Or take a leave of absence from school and start knitting again.... Or whatever, it will depend on what I miss next.

Sometimes I add back at a very low level. For instance, you could skip the tomatoes next year, then the following year just grow one or two patio plants, and then just keep going from there until you don't feel the lack any more. Does that make sense?

[Smokering]

I have the same problem. Well, sort of. One girl, not two; no yoga; no homeschooling yet. But I feel vaguely obliged to bring in a little income through freelance writing, and I want to do some fiction writing on top of that (and feel guilty if I do it, because I "should" be writing for money, and feel guilty if I don't do it, because I want to be a writer and need to actually write in order to be one!). And I want to be a much better housewife than I am, and sew my own clothes, and practice my singing more diligently, and be a better mother to DD, and improve my knitting, and and and...

Last week I didn't allow myself to surf the Internet at all, and I actually got a lot done. Unfortunately, most of it was reading books. I think I've accustomed myself to needing ridiculous amounts of downtime. Plus I'm depressed at the moment and having my fourth illness of winter, which is really knocking my ability to get out there and do stuff.

No advice, sadly, unless you think you can pull of polyphasic sleep! (I've considered it...)

[eastkygal]

I am just wondering what is serving me and my family best. Right now, I must keep my yoga. I have given up my personal blog and am keeping up my birth blog. I want to keep doing birth work, but I have had 4 clients since February. I'm very rural, and am the first educator in about 10 years in our area, and the only working doula, which is new too. I so enjoy it, but I need for it to at least fund itself.
Writing I love too, and I will always be a writer. I want to focus more on some freelancing, and finishing up some fiction pieces. I'm excited about that.
Then, there is home. We are homesteading, and we hope to have a sustainable farm with stuff to sell in the coming years. So, that is another have to keep thing.
I'm just stressed on top of it all and I don't have much of a social life right now, or enough "date" time with DH. I want to feel more relaxed, yet, I do feel like we need a little more finances, especially as our girls get older.

[kittywitty]

I am totally an overplanner. I try to be everything for everyone and have 8 million projects and hobbies at the same time. I usually just get overwhelmed and crash at the computer once I get overwhelmed. I have a routine/schedule and try to at least do half the things I feel I "should" do a week and have gotten to the point where that has to be good enough.

[LauraLoo]

There's no rule that says you have to do or be all these things at once. You've already determined that you don't want to give up yoga - so that's a big priority for you. It's also pretty difficult to give up being a mom & wife so if you feel these things are important, then they need to be top priorities, too.

Knowing that your dc's won't be little forever should also help you see long term. When they become more self-sufficient, you *will* have more time to yourself to do other activities.

It might help for you to look at things in a "what do I absolutely need to tend to right now, what can wait a couple of years, and what are things that I can sqeeze in *if* I have some extra time here and there" kind of way. Again, you don't have to permanently let things go, just put them on a different time table.