Screaming in Car Seat

[mommyabroad]

My 2.5 month old screams hysterically in her car seat and I'm at wits end. School starts tomorrow which means daily drop off for my older child and my baby DD has not gotten any better in the car! I have tried to minimize car trips but don't know where to go from here. Honestly, it takes at least a half hour after any car ride just to settle her down. Any suggesstions?

[Knitting Mama]

Sometimes it just takes time, mama, and I'm sorry to say that.

Cecilia was a carseat hater from day 1. I tried everything I could think of, from music to no music to my voice to me being silent to toys to lights to mirrors to pacifiers (she has never taken one). I finally broke down and got a convertible carseat since so many people said that it made a difference for them. It did not for us.

But around 3, 3.5 months, Cecilia stopped hating the car so much. This coincided with her learning to actually interact with her toys, so she wasn't just laying in a forced prone position, bored and unhappy. She had something to really focus on.

Now at 4.5 months, she has many more good times than bad in the car (though some bad times still happen). For her, it was just about letting time do its thing.

[P.J.]

^^^I'm glad to hear this, that it just takes time for some babies. We have the same issue. My baby is 3 m.o. and it does seem to be getting a little better, meaning we've had one or two times where he actually made it there and back with no screaming ~we take him in the car maybe 3-4 trips per week. I notice he more often screams on the way back from places so I think it has to do with having sensory overload (which was an issue for him at first and he screamed a lot no matter where he was if he'd had too much). So, as he gets a little older and he's able to handle more at a time, the car screaming will get less (I think, I hope). Also I pay attention to naps, and if he has missed one due to being out (he can rarely sleep when we're out) it's worse.
He is only holding things randomly and mostly involuntarily at this point, but I can tell soon he'll be able to hold and interact with them more. I am hoping this helps as it is so intensely annoying, sad and disturbing to have to helplessly listen to it (if one of us can sit in the back with him it makes no difference), yet I will not put my life on hold just to avoid the car so it just sucks when he screams.

[Summer1216]

This may be a no-brainer response, and if so sorry -

But my 3 week old baby screamed his head off every time we took him anywhere in the car. We finally removed the infant insert (thing to keep him snugly in place) and now he just dislikes his car seat. I guess it was just too hot for him.

Could your baby be too hot in the seat?

Also he likes it when we turn on static really loud (loud enough we can't talk over it) and he falls right to sleep.

That being said - he still doesn't like his car seat.

[Norasmomma]

My son HATED the bucket carseat, he stopped screaming in the car once we got him a convertible seat. Lots of babies don't like the bucket seat, I think it hurts them in some way.

[EzzysMom]

With my DD, it was a matter of getting older and getting her into the convertible. She didn't like the bucket, still wasn't wild about the car after that, but better. And having someone sit in back with her and sing and entertain. I hope it passes quickly for you.

[wombatclay]

Big hugs... sometimes there's just no option, so do try to give yourself some slack. You're doing what needs to be done and sometimes just crying along is all you can do!

That said, maybe one of those mirrors that you hang so you can see your babe's face/they can see you? We had less screaming from ds once we added a mirror (it also had flashing lights and music), and I found that he was more upset when it was dark... he likes being able to see... so those flashing lights came in handy too for early morning trips to school.

I rotated toys on his seat (a radian convertable, he never had a bucket, but he screamed anyway) to keep them fresh... rattles, bells, colorful cloth balls, a sock monkey made by my mom, etc. I tried a variety of different music ideas, including a cd of lullabies that I'd play at home during "quiet time" with the hopes that it would encourage him to relax/sleep in the seat too.

It got better, and I'm guessing it'll keep getting better. I don't advocate turning a kiddo FF in their carseat "early" (and my kiddos tend to stay RFing till at least 2 years) but I found that my second child didn't like her seat till she turned FFing. I think some kiddos just don't like the sensation of driving one way while facing the other. It's not an immediate help, but it's something to look forward to down the road.

Good luck!

[RiverandJulie]

It will get better!
I agree with PP, once ours was able to play with toys things got better. Here are some things that we tried.....some worked at different times, others didnt. Many times, nothing worked, but here is a list anyways. (stars mean they worked well.....some of the time)

ALone in the car:
open windows
close windows
music...different music....different music...me singing loudly along with music.....static
driving with one arm in the backseat holding paci in his mouth
**waiting until he was really tired to put him in the car so he would sleep**

Someone else in the car-Ride in the backseat with him
**bottle feed
foot rubs
**clapping his hands and feet
funny faces

Good Luck-I thought it would never end, and now (at 8 months) he is pretty good in the car

[1blueheron]

I too feel your pain. at that age, wrist rattles were something that could hold her attention w/o being dropped/thrown. hang in there.

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by RiverandJulie

I

Someone else in the car-Ride in the backseat with him
**bottle feed

Wow, we are so trying this next time both DH and I are together in the car. Every time I sit in back w/DS I wish it were practical to lean over and BF him, but it's not. This may just be the solution!

[GoBecGo]

Our DD2 (nearly 12 weeks) also hated the car. We bought a paci specifically for the car but she won't suck it... I've never given her a bottle because i'm protecting my supply (having previously had lactation problems).

What has worked for us is changing the seat. She was in a Graco infant bucket-style seat, but she's long and we'd already had to move the straps up, so we went looking for a better option and managed to find a BeSafe izi which can rearface until 18kg/age 4, so we bought it. She has been a different child in it! She used to scream and scream and get into a complete state. Now she will cry a little very occasionally, but settles once the car is moving. I think the main things for her is that she is not crunched over as much as she was in the bucket, and is able to see a lot more because her new seat is much higher.

So maybe a new seat would help?

[lilmamabrown]

My babe just turned 6 mos and we've been through 3 carseats and tried everything... she still screams. The only thing that sometimes works to calm her down is someone in the backseat helping her with a sippy cup (she prefers a straw sippy). I am ok with her fussing but sometimes she will really get herself worked up and seems to almost hyperventilate, so I do pull over a lot for that to calm her down then start going again. She is going for much longer periods of time now before she gets to that point. Just give yourself lots of time to get places and know that it won't last forever!!

[mommyabroad]

Thanks for all of the great ideas! Well, I took some of the padding out of the seat and that helped a little. Then I played my son's Wiggles CD and that helped alot. LOL. We're going to try a convertible seat this weekend and maybe the combo of a new seat, the Wiggles, and another week of life under her belt will work.