No legal age limit - how old to leave children home alone? - Page 2

[Drummer's Wife]

My DD is 9.5 and I think I'd be okay with leaving her for short amounts of time - like, 30 minutes tops. However, she isn't ready - and like velochic said, both parent and child need to be. She is responsiple and resourceful and even has her own cell phone, so I feel like she could handle an emergency situation and knows what is safe and what's not... but she completely balks at the idea, just in conversation, so I have a feeling it will be a few more years until she is ready to stay home alone. I'm guessing she'll be 11-12 or so.

[Purplegal]

I think back to my childhood and am amazed...I was babysitting my younger siblings starting at age 9...and by age 11 I had fliers out to the neighbors and was babysitting all the time for neighbors and kids from church.
Anyway, for my DD, I would think its depends on how responsible she is...probably 10 or 11...

[nextcommercial]

My own was about 8.

[Devaskyla]

When I was 14 & my sister was 13, our parents started leaving us home alone for the weekend when they went to our cabin. It was great. (this is the same woman who refuses to leave my 9 & 5 year old at home for 15 minutes for her to drop dh & I at the hospital nearby)I'm not sure my oldest would be up for that when he gets to be that age, but he has anxiety issues and his siblings are much younger.

I've left the older at home for 10-15 minutes to run across the street to the store. I You can literally look out our window to see it, but I always take the baby with me. I don't see how it's any different than letting them run around playing outside without supervision. I also left the older 2 out playing for a couple hours between when my husband got taken by ambulance to hospital & when my mom could get here, but I did go down to talk to the mom of a couple of their friends to ask her to to keep an eye out & let her know I'd left the house unlocked for them.

[DaughterOfKali]

I'd say 12. (but I'm very careful)

[lucysmom]

Originally Posted by meemee

starting at 6 i have left dd alone for 15 or 20 mins after letting our next door neighbour know. i did it maybe a handful of times in a year but i still did it. i always came back to find dd was exactly where i had left her forgotten that i had gone even though i had told her and asked her to check in with neighbour if scared. the first time i did it was because of a deadline thing and did DIDNOT want to go. absolutely not. so i thought i would try it for experiment and see what happens and it was ok. however dd is precocious and extremely independent.

Me too. I've been leaving DD, now almost 6, alone for the past year for 15-20 minute dog walks. She knows how to unlock the doors & get out of the house if she needs to, and we've done drills where she proves she knows how to call my cell phone (which she's done a couple of times for funny "emergencies" that mostly involved online game problems). She, however, is also precocious, mature, sensible and confident. If she didn't want me to leave her, I wouldn't. However, she is fine alone for a little bit, and I don't want to drag her away from something she is engrossed in just to walk the dogs every time.

I agree with the PP who said the question is the kid prepared for a worst case scenario. We have run through many and she knows what to do. She also just is good at making a reasonable plan in unexpected circumstances, reasoning from the principles she knows. (E.g., only leave the house if there is an emergency IN the house; call 911 if anyone but your family is trying to gain entry.)

[midnightwriter]

8-9.

[Tilia]

I would say 8 or 9.

[meemee]

http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/1...ves_father_but

this was in the news yesterday. the moment i saw it i thought about this thread.

FOR MODS: however i am not sure if i am supposed to post a news article. but i couldnt resist. this is sooo pertaining to the discussion on this thread.

[ananas]

Probably around 10-12, depending on the child, for the amount of time you said.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I began leaving my older kids when they were young 9 and 7 year olds for very short, close-by errands. When I first started, I had very strict rules about what they could do while I was gone. Basically, they could only sit and watch tv or play video games. No eating, no physical activity that could possibly result in harm, etc. As time went on and they and I got more comfortable, I started easing up the restrictions and allowing a little more time and distance. I always have my cell phone and they could also reach their father at work if I didn't come home for some reason. Now they are 10 and 8, so it's been about a year since we started leaving them alone. I'm still uncomfortable if I'm going to be more than about 15 minutes away, and I still don't allow cooking, eating highly choke-able food (like popcorn or hotdogs), outside play or rambunctious play, but I'll let them stay up to 45 minutes and do other low-energy activities if I'm not far away. There have been a couple of occasions where we've left the 10 year old by herself for a longer distance, but only when she agrees to be in her room reading the whole time.

My biggest concern is what someone else said about being able to handle the worst case scenario. I feel pretty confident they could get themselves out of the house in case of fire, or call 911 in a medical emergency, but I never leave the almost 3 year old with them, even if he is sleeping, because I don't want them to have to worry about what to do with him in case of an emergency. Right now I'm thinking that when they are 12, 10 and 5, I'll start to be comfortable leaving all 3 of them together for short times. I will love that day when it comes!

[mamazee]

I don't leave my 8-year-old alone yet, but only because I tell her not to open the door if someone rings the doorbell and I'm in the shower or in the bathroom or something, and she always opens the door. I remind her as I go in the bathroom, "don't open the door if someone comes to the door" and she opens it. "It was my friends!" She shouldn't be checking to see if it's her friends. So, until she understands not to answer the door, I won't leave her alone. When she understands that safety rule, I will, as she otherwise would be fine. But I have no idea when she'll understand that. I said, "What if it weren't your friends and were a door-to-door salesman?" "I'd tell him we weren't interested." Her problem is that she's a bit TOO confident.


Anyway, frustration and vent there. But "not yet" would be my answer.

[ShadowMoon]

I would have to say it's a case-by-case basis, based on how responsible the child is, how capable they are of taking care of themselves, etc. Some kids will be ready by 8, some by much older. I would start by taking very short trips and then gradually increasing the time away. That's what my parents did and I think I was around 9 or 10 years old.

[monkeysmommy]

My dd is 8. I have been leaving her alone to go to the store (across the street) for about a year. I am going to ask her if she wants to stay home in the morning while I take dh to do his clinical shift at the hospital. It will take about 20 minutes and she will probably be asleep the whole time. If she is not comfortable with the idea, she will have to get up at 6:00, so we'll see how that conversation goes.

We live in a very secure apartment building surrounded by nice neighbors.

[lucysmom]

Originally Posted by mamazee

I don't leave my 8-year-old alone yet, but only because I tell her not to open the door if someone rings the doorbell and I'm in the shower or in the bathroom or something, and she always opens the door.

(Though I know it is not funny to you.)

I'd say that's a pretty good test of readiness!!

[hermionesmum]

I leave my eight year-old for short periods, (school run if she's ill or to get dd2 to her activities,) up to half an hour. The rules are don't answer the door, let the answer phone pick up any messages and don't try to cook anything. She copes well.
What I will find harder is leaving her with dd2 as she gets older. At the moment their squabbles could still end in murder without intervention.