Help me please..

[babytooth]

I don't know what to do with my 17 month old little girl. Let me just tell you from the beginning. I've been a full time student since she was born and she had to go to daycare at 3 months old. I've felt extremely guilty about having to leave her at daycare and as a result, I will admit I have babied her maybe a bit too much when she's been at home. I feel like it's the only way to make myself feel like I'm not such a bad mom and it's a way for me to make up the attention I haven't been giving her. She still uses a bottle for milk and does NOT hold the bottle on her own. She has 2 little teeth that just recently came through, and she is a very picky eater. She will not eat anything except for fruit (self fed) and baby food purée (spoon fed by an adult).

She has spent a lot of time with me at home the last 2 months because I finished school and wanted to spend time with her before beginning to work. Last week, she started again full time at daycare and they told me that they can not give her a bottle and that I need to send her things she can feed herself. The problem is that there is NOTHING except fruit that she will feed herself. I do not know what to do. She will also not have her milk in a sippy. The only way she will drink it is if someone feeds her her bottle. She will eat babyfood but only if fed by someone and she refuses to put anything in her mouth on her own other than fruit.

Please help me. What can I do? I felt better when I knew she was at least getting her one bottle while at daycare... And I tried last week without it and she is still not making up for the loss of milk. She has actually been eating less than ever now.

I am so frustrated that I can't be there to make sure she's eating and it makes me so mad that they expect her to self feed and will not give her the bottle or pureed food.

Do any of you have any suggestions? Should I increase her milk intake in the dew hours she's at home at night?

[pianojazzgirl]

I can relate this to the experience of some of my friends who were breastfeeding their babies who then started daycare, were given a bottle, but weren't that interested in it and ended up drinking a lot less milk during the day. Their babies would naturally end up nursing a lot more at night. I think the same principal would apply to your dd and the bottle.

That said, you might be surprised at what she will eat during daycare. I know from a lot of my friends that their little ones ate whatever was given to them at daycare, even if it was something that they would never eat at home. In your dd's case she knows that you will spoon feed her and that there is always a bottle available. At daycare this is not the case. She will see all of the other toddlers tucking into their finger foods, and if the same/similar foods are provided for her I bet she will be more willing to try.

Good luck mama.

[Learning_Mum]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

I can relate this to the experience of some of my friends who were breastfeeding their babies who then started daycare, were given a bottle, but weren't that interested in it and ended up drinking a lot less milk during the day. Their babies would naturally end up nursing a lot more at night. I think the same principal would apply to your dd and the bottle.

That said, you might be surprised at what she will eat during daycare. I know from a lot of my friends that their little ones ate whatever was given to them at daycare, even if it was something that they would never eat at home. In your dd's case she knows that you will spoon feed her and that there is always a bottle available. At daycare this is not the case. She will see all of the other toddlers tucking into their finger foods, and if the same/similar foods are provided for her I bet she will be more willing to try.

Good luck mama.

I think she will soon figure out that things work differently at daycare. Unless there are some issues going on, I can't imagine that she will starve herself. I'd send along whatever is appropriate for her (sandwiches, fruit, crackers, whatever you would give her if she was feeding herself) and then give it a couple of weeks. I'm sure the daycare has dealt with picky eaters before and have ways of getting them to eat. She may decide that she likes to be able to feed herself and start doing it at home.

FWIW I have a two year old that still has bottles, barely eats, and won't hold a bottle himself and he is happy and healthy. It does worry me sometimes but I try to remember that if so long as he's healthy and growing and developing he'll start eating better at some point.

[babytooth]

Thank you ladies. This week she is eating a little more at daycare and we've been adding a little bit more to her bottles at home. She refuses to have milk from the sippy so I'm sending her OJ instead since at least that will give her some calories and vitamins and she'll drink it willingly.

Along the same note, do any of you have recommendations for soft finger foods for a toddler with only 2 teeth?

[lilyka]

She will be fine. She will get hungry and eat and she will get thirsty and take a sippy cup. She doesn't feel the same about the daycare people that she feels about you. My daycare kids would do all kinds of things for me that they wouldn't do for their parents and vice versa. Different environment different behavior. Just like a lot of babies will not take a bottle from their mom but will take one from other people.

as for what foods to send, there are lots of things a baby can gum to death especially this time of year. boiled potatoes, peaches, kiwi, grapes peeled, cooked apples, pears, and quartered, cheerios, toast, cooked carrots, avocado, frozen peas, ground beef, shredded chicken, crackers, mozzarella cheese (fresh is best)...some things that she might need some help with: oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce, any baby food, chicken and noodles, spaghetti (I found my pampered chef chopper great for getting it to a gummable texture.)

[theatermom]

Just want to say that it sounds like you're making some progress, but that I wouldn't send OJ in her bottle or sippy cup. It's really, really hard on baby teeth (any teeth really, but especially baby teeth), and can cause some serious problems later on. It's much better for her to have the whole fruit -- the vitamin and fiber content are much higher, and the acid content much more dilute.

GL!

[lilyka]

The acid content of apple or white grape juice is much lower. Also I would dilute it quite a bit.

[Mrs. Bratton]

I agree about diluted apple juice instead. I still dont give DD (22 mos) orange juice b/c its so strong that I feel like its just going to erode her teeth away in one day, lol. It also gives her diaper rash (she is very prone to diarrhea and diaper rash). I buy the "apple juice cocktail" which it just 60% apple juice and 40% water then I dilute that 1/2 and 1/2 with more water.

Will she eat soft veggies as well as fruit? I would try to get her off the bottle soon, DD's dentist wanted her off the bottle by 12 mos and off the sippy cup by 18! She still isnt off the sippy cup. That just isnt doable for us right now. She doesnt use it as a comfort item so I dont feel like she sucks on it enough to affect her teeth/pallet formation. What if you just dont give her any other option? Thats what I do w/ DD when she refuses to eat or at least try food. I offer her a plate of food and if she wont try it I let her go off and play. The next time she says "hungry" she gets the same plate offered and I just repeat this until she at least tries the food. After the 3rd time I throw it out b/c food only stays good after so many reheats, lol. Usually she will try it before then.

Same with water. She never wants to drink water. She gets milk in a sippy with meals and in between meals she gets 2 cups of diluted juice a day. Once she has met the juice quota she gets water in her sippy the rest of the day. Eventually she will drink it.

My point, just don't. If you just dont give her the milk in a bottle and just dont hold it for her she will eventually drink it on her own. Dont offer her juice or any other option (if you really want her to drink the milk). She will not starve herself. If she keeps being offered food (other than fruit) and nothing else she will give in and eat it. It may seem harsh but I think a little harshness is justifiable when it comes to health issues. If she doesnt eat anything for a day it wont do any irreversible damage. Toddlers go through eating phases. Sometimes DD will turn down all food for an entire day. Other days I cannot keep her full for 10 minutes. One day isnt going to hurt her and by the next day she will eat something.

[mummyofan]

She sounds to me like a normal 17 month old. Mine liked me to hold their bottle for them, indeed, i think it's an important cuddle time.
my son, at 4 will sometimes not eat stick or messy things. He will, however, eat when he's hungry!
She will soon see the other children eating/ doing things differently and figure that this is how it is here...

Toast with something on it was good for mine when they had no teeth, and the whole choking thing shouldn't be an issue at daycare.

It'll be tough on you for a while, but I bet, at home, she'll be herself.
good luck!

[Bellabaz]

Try avocado slices, steamed sweet potato, steamed carrots are kind of sweet too. Pasta is almost always a kid fav. peas. I agree with diluting the juice if you aren't already.