"Bad words"

[sleepingbeauty]

W is 3 and said "f***ing" yesterday ("F***ing! What the heck?!"). We sat and talked about it and I know she knows she isn't supposed to say that because when she let it slip in the car again on the way home she immediately yells "SORRY!" and claps her hand in front of her mouth. She says her friend at school said it.

I'm so sad. It really hit just how much she's growing up, you know?

Hopefully this won't take long to clear up but just in case....

How do you deal with "bad words"?

[amcal]

We don't really call words "bad words". I try to teach my kids that people give words meaning and sometimes, the meanings of words can be hurtful like fat or ugly or that some words are just rude but some adults use them (like the F word).

I try not to place a whole lot of value on those words except to explain that they're considered rude and hurtful and to let my kids know that we don't use rude or hurtful words.

[swell_mel]

We don't call them bad either. We call them grown up/adult words and that when they are an adult they can choose whether or not to use them. And we explain that those kinds of words have negative consequences- even as an adult (rude, hurtful, inappropriate in many situations). FWIW I remember being a little kid sitting with my little group of friends at recess and we would take turns whispering all the bad words we knew to each other... at a christian private school no less. I think it's normal honestly for kids to experiment with 'bad' words- after all it's probably fascinating to find a set of words that provoke such a response from people. It is hard as a parent when outside sources start having an influence. It's tough not being able to filter 100% of what they see/hear when they start school.

[Magali]

Originally Posted by sleepingbeauty

W is 3 and said "f***ing" yesterday ("F***ing! What the heck?!"). We sat and talked about it and I know she knows she isn't supposed to say that because when she let it slip in the car again on the way home she immediately yells "SORRY!" and claps her hand in front of her mouth. She says her friend at school said it.

I'm so sad. It really hit just how much she's growing up, you know?

Hopefully this won't take long to clear up but just in case....

How do you deal with "bad words"?

Well, dh and I swear a lot, so occasionally my 3 year old says "bad words". But they are just words and they don't bother us that he says them at all. Calling people names is not ok, but to say "what the f*%k" or something similar is just whatever around here. The first few times he swore dh and I asked each other if it bothered us and we both said "no". We plan to let our son know that many people will frown on those sort of words, even though at home it's ok, and it is up to him to decide if he wants to use those words and when.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

So far I purposfully mishear. As in "What duck? Where? There's a duck? How did a duck get in the house? QUACK QUACK, what the DUCK!" And we did do a whatever you do don't say "tapioca!" and then freak out when he said "tapioca" although that was over calling food "yucky" which grates on my nerves.

My friend did something that I love which I think I might use when ds is older (just turned 3 now) she told her dd that certain words (classic 4 letter words) were okay for adults to say to adults and kids to say around kids, but not okay for kids to say to adults or adults to say to kids.

Which is pretty much the truth in a lot of ways. Folks get upset when they hear kids cursing, but usually don't bat an eye at another adult doing it, but they don't want the adult to turn around and curse at their kid ya know? And as a pp said kids often sit around trying out the words to see if the words themselves are powerful or just the situations in which the words are used.

[sleepingbeauty]

I called it an "adult word" when I discussed it with her. I figured "bad word" would be a better title because more people know them by that. Their grandparents (the legal guardians) prefer that they do not use those words at all so we have to go with it. (We're the "godmothers" of the girls, just so you all know.)

I think if I did the "What duck?" thing it would turn into a game and she might do it more. She's too silly for her own good sometimes. *facepalm* But that's a great idea, thanks!

I think she got it the other day and I hope this is an easy hurdle for us to get over! I hope the little one doesn't start this too....

[JL83]

I don't think it's a problem when kids use those words. Our rule is that you can't swear at people just like you can't name call.