Big bro dislikes little bro

[PennyP]

My 3 year Eli old told me and DH the other day "I don't like Sammy. (Almost 1 year old.) I want him to go away." DH explained that Sammy is his brother and is here to stay bec he's part of our family. Eli said, "Sammy isn't part of our family. He doesn't look like me and he doesn't look like Daddy and he doesn't look like mommy."

That just about sums up their relationship. Big brother doesn't like little brother. He's often trying to hurt him- bite him, pull his hair, squish him, hit him, kick him, you name it.
Of course, there are times that he is loving to him as well, but the physically hurting his brother is too frequent.

Of course, it doesn't help that little Sammy is a whiny clingy kid who almost always wants to be held, so I can't give as much attention to Eli. And when he is down on the floor, he is chasing after his big brother, taking his toys, breaking his things, and of course, biting him.
Oh, and when Sammy is asleep, then Eli needs to be quieter so Sammy doesn't wake up, as he is a terrible sleeper and will be even more clingy and whiny if his sleep is cut short.

I try to give Eli as much one on one Mommy time as I can, but it's hard, because the second Sammy is asleep I feel I need some alone time to recharge from a really difficult baby.
My husband does give Eli lots of one on one time as well.

Anyhow, what do I do to help form some love and eliminate the dislike between my sons?

(P.S. Both are home with me full time.)

[Learning_Mum]

DS1 went through this with DS2 when they were the same ages as your boys. I felt like I spent all my time telling DS1 to be gentle and leave his brother alone. FWIW he was really good with him when he was smaller.

I think it was pretty much from when DS2 started moving to pretty much when he started to be able to play with DS1. I don't remember doing or saying anything that made a difference, it just seemed to be time. Now though they are the best of friends and just love each other to death! I guess all you can do is give it time and give your DS1 lots of time and love and wait for it to pass

ETA: DS1 is almost 5yo and DS2 is 2yo now. They've been great mates for a while.

[mamatowill]

I could write this post. DS1 is 6 and DS2 is 19 months and well DS1 says he doesn't love DS2. They physically fight most of the time- biting, hitting, pushing, hitting. Both share equally in starting the fights. DS2 also hates it when I give DS1 attention and will push his way in or push DS1 to get him away from me. I am finding it frustrating and have not effectively dealt with it. I will be watching the thread for other ideas but you are not alone.