sleep problems 11 month old

[mamaluvs]

Hi Everyone,
We are having major sleep issues at our house. DS is 11 months old and his sleep is getting progressively worse-since starting to crawl at age 8 months, he wakes up numerous times a night and can't settle himself down. Now, he will no longer be comforted by Daddy, only me and he mostly wants to nurse everytime, as in 12-15 times a night. I can't handle this! We do co-sleep because it is just easier at this point but I can't handle the lack of sleep anymore. Plus, I feel that at 11 months I don't want him to nurse that many times at night. I could handle 2-3 times a night. He also uses a pacifier. Any suggestions? This is beyond just a fussy/teething time because it has been happening for 3 months! I'm totally cranky and feel that the lack of sleep is slowly ruining my daytime moods and lessening the quality of my marriage. Thanks for any input.

[Youngfrankenstein]

My babe is just about to turn 9 months and she is so similar. She doesn't nurse quite as often each night but it's still usually every 2 hours. She also has a paci which I was reluctant to accept in the beginning but then I was seeing it could help her get back to sleep at night without nursing. That isn't always true now any more. It got worse when she could pull herself up and stand in her crib.

I'm like you. I could handle a few times a night but the frequency is tough especially when the wee morning (5-7) seems to be a "stuttered" sleep time. She's up a lot but still not ready to be awake.

[saffrongirl]

Oh boy do I feel your pain. Mine is almost 11 months and has been up about every hour or two for the last week. Before that, it was "only" 4-5 times per night. She too wants to nurse back to sleep every time and has a hard time settling down enough for me to get her back to sleep. We did phase her to a crib that is basically side-carred so that when I do get a minute to sleep, it's more quality sleep.

Here are some things that have helped (though, as you can see from above, I'm not an expert): white noise - we use a fan AND an a/c, blackout curtains and movement (walking around or rocking with her).

I know you said you're cosleeping, but I'm wondering if it's time to move? My first dd coslept until she was one and I was all about cosleeping until she decided it was time for her own space, but finally I realized that neither she nor us were sleeping very well that way. My feeling was that cosleeping is supposed to be a bonding, peaceful experience for all; a time of security and stability, but the reality was that I was feeling leeched off of (literally) all night and because I'm such a light sleeper, I could hardly do more than doze. Dd tossed and turned so much but always needed to have some body part touching some body part of mine and it was just so exhausting. When we moved her to her own bed, it was like relief for all of us since we had our own space. Again, this isn't true for everyone, but it's what helped us.

Obviously, it isn't true for dd #2, but every kid is different.

[diana_of_the_dunes]

My DS also did better once he slept in his own bed, in his own room. I had planned on using the co-sleeper for much longer, but around 10 months, he kept waking up and trying to kamikaze off the low sides. Our room is too small for a side-carred crib, so he moved next door. And slept SO much better that I was amazed. It made me sad, but he's doing well.

Right before that, when the nursing was getting a little out of control... I simply didn't nurse him. I'd hold him, and rock him, and sing, or whatever. But I knew he didn't need to eat every. single. hour. Especially after tanking up with a bottle right before bed (I have supply issues from working/pumping). Once we eliminated a waking/feeding, I'd let it be for a day or two then start to push back the next one. My DH works nights, so it was probably a little harder on my LO to have me there and not give him a boob... But he adjusted within a few weeks and now only wakes to nurse once or twice.

I also had to realize I wasn't doing him any favors by teaching him that nursing was the only way to get back to sleep. It worked well in the beginning, but after 10 months of being the only way he could get back to sleep... I was wearing out and getting resentful. It was SO hard, since I was already sleep-deprived. But we got through it and we're both much better now. I don't resent the one or two times he still wakes to eat, and he is slowly learning how to put himself back to sleep without a boob.

Good luck mama!

[mamaluvs]

Thanks for the input. We are currently co-sleeping because of the night wakings! At the beginning of the summer, we'd put him to sleep and he'd sleep 3-5 hours on his own before his night wakings began and then he'd maybe wake up another 2-3 times. Now, he wakes up every 15-30 minutes, for hours at a time, sits straight up and starts crying. I can't get out of bed that often so we co-sleep but I don't know what to do to help fall into a deeper, longer sleep.

[octobermoon]

sorry i didn't read the other replies don't have time just yet but wanted to post since i feel your pain and have been dealing with some of the same issues and feelings. i have searched on forums asked for advice and read books on the subject -not much help. however i was reading some studies last night that encouraged me and maybe they will help you as well. these have helped me the most at this point. i hope you find your peace!! skip the first one on 6-12 week olds. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sl...epstudies.html

[mamaluvs]

thanks octobermom