How Important is Pre-School?

[mamadelbosque]

Hi there, my DS1 is 3.5 and was supposed to start Head Start preschool tommorrow (3.5 hours, 4 days a week). However, they are now backing off the former promise (or at least, my impression of a promise) to pick him up on the bus and drop him off, and instead want to 'meet' me 5 miles from my house (the school's like 7.5-8 miles away), early in the morning (school starts at 8:00, they want to meet there at like 7:00... and then have him be on the bus for an hour!!). Which is just ludicrous, IMO... Basicly, if thats my only option, I'll just drive hiim and let us both sleep a bit longer!!

But, overall, I'm just leaning towards him simply not going... which I'd feel slightly bad about (we've been telling him about going to school for the past 6 or so months, and I know he'll be dissapointed). Which brings up my question: How important is preschool?? If he doesn't go, we'll still goot playgroup 1 or 2x a week (1.5 hours) and meet friends and such, which is what we've been doing the last 1.5-2 yrs... So, whatcha think?

[CanBoo]

I think it depends on the child. And your family lifestyle.
I think it is with my dd1, beacuse she is a december baby and will start kindergarden before she is 5. I wanted to give all chances to be ready.
I am assuming you don't intend to homeschool.
Does your child have chances to play with others kids?
Does he get to be in structured play situation? in a group where he has to sit and listen? (like library circle time type of thing) I think this is fairly important to have so kindi doesn't come too much as a schock.

But in all honesty, if you told him he'd go and he is interested in going, I'd just suck it up and take him.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

My opinion is it isnt important at all. It serves a purpose for some kids but it wont hurt any child not to go.

[EVC]

Another vote for it depends on the child. My dd went to pre-school last year, and has been off for the summer. The summer has been REALLY hard on her, even though we go to organized kids' events at the library three times a week, the playground every day, we've had playdates with friends, etc. She is VERY social, however, and really craves more interaction with other kids than I can possibly provide for her at home. She is VERY excited that school starts this week--she really misses being in a group on a daily basis.

She would NOT have well done without pre-school. It's just not right for her personality.

But I also know people with slightly more introvert kids dd's age, who have thrived at home. Their social needs have been perfectly met with a few regular playdates and trips to the playground, store, zoo, etc.

So I really do think that personality is a deciding factor on whether or not pre-school is the best option for a child. Many do very well without it.

But in all honesty, if you told him he'd go and he is interested in going, I'd just suck it up and take him.

Yeah, I think I would feel bad about going back on a promise like this, especially if he has been excited about it. With my dd, it would break her heart if I suddenly told her that she couldn't go to school after all. But again, your kiddo might take things more in stride than mine does. Maybe you can play it like "Sorry, no pre-school, because we have an even BETTER idea for you" and then sort of replace it with something fun (for example, a tumbling class, or a pre-school music class, or dance class, or whatever you have available and your kid really likes).



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[Alyantavid]

Totally depends on the kid.

Both of mine have thrived in preschool. And, at least with my oldest, it really did help prepare him for school. My youngest is 4 and is starting his second year of preschool.

Having said that, I work full time and they went to daycare anyways so having them do the preschool aspect of it was kind of natural. And they loved it.

[2cutiekitties]

I view preschool as purley a social thing. Now PreK I do see more to get you ready for kindy. If you tot wants to go and is looking forward to it then I would do it. I drive DS 25 mins to get to his school. But if tot didnt want or care to go, then I wouldnt push it.

DS is 3 1/2 and just started two weeks ago at preschool....in a class for 3 1/2 year olds (how fantastic is that!) He couldnt love it more. To say he is thriving is an understatement. He is very, very social. Very pro kid. He delights in seeing and being around kids, well actually people in general. Even if we played with kids twice a week it was never enough. He needed every day interaction. He needed stability, to see the same kids every day. He goes 4 hrs a day, 4 days a week. I did wait until I was ready for him to go, he was ready at 3, I couldnt do it. We spent over two months finding the right preschool that helped overanxious me relax and read books and talked about it nonstop. He talks about preschool all the time, carries around a picture of his teacher, has friends already.

Also, most important, his anger issues have basically vanished. No more hitting mama if he doesn't like what mama says. And our schedule is now flipped, so instead of going to bed late we go to be at 8pm.

[K1329]

Can you just drive him to school and back? And not use the bus at all? That would be ideal, IMO, anyway. I drive ds about 4 miles to his preschool and pick him up 4 hours later. It works great for us - I get to give him a goodbye hug, see the teachers and other parents, and hear all about his day on the ride home.
But, I also agree that it depends on his personality. Some kids thrive in preschool, and some kids need the school readiness it provides. Then others do more than fine without it, or, are simply not ready.
I'm sure he'll do fine either way, and I'll also admit I'm biased because my kids have loved their preschool experiences and I have loved a few hour break. Preschool has been a really good thing for our family.

[kathteach]

I don't agree that it won't hurt any kid not to go. My son has special needs and preschool has given him a huge boost forward. He would really be struggling (even more so that he does anyway with an autism diagnosis) without that year.

[mamadelbosque]

So, I just wanted to update everyone... he's not going. They refused to work with me on the bus schedule so he just didn't show up yesterday an they called to confirm we were withdrawing.

So, yesterday I spent the afternoon up at my moms house brainstorming different places to do stuff and checking their respective calendars.... and I now have a calendar FULL of stuff to do for sept/oct So, I think we'll be alright. This morning we're going to go out to the wilderness center and go on a butterfly walk, which we wouldn't have done if he was in school, obviously So, we'll see. Who knows, maybe I'll even make enough contacts over the next year or two to decide that I can homeschool him and keep up both of our sanities

[mamadelbosque]

Oh, and I still think he'd have loved preschool, but the truth is I am just *NOT* up to driving him in and back in to pick him up 3 hours later. I'm just not... so, for this year at least, he's home.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

My opinion is it isnt important at all. It serves a purpose for some kids but it wont hurt any child not to go.

I agree. I don't think it's bad but we never sent any of our kids. They all learned to read at very early ages and have lots of socialization normally so neither of those things were a priority.


ETA: I do agree it can hurt some kids not to go in the pp's example. I have a friend with a special needs child and day care would not have helped her as she aged. She needed her pre-school for better education and care.

[EdnaMarie]

Now PreK I do see more to get you ready for kindy.

Okay, to OP, glad for your decision. There is indeed so much to do outside of school.

Re: the quote: I used to think that. But then I met more five and six year olds bored to tears in school. These were not super gifted kids. Smart, sure, and possibly a little ahead but nothing that could not be attributed to pre-school. Well the fact is, half the kids enter "not ready" so even if your child is ready, s/he may spend the first entire year just sitting there doing stuff s/he knows (in a less playful, more boring way) anyhow!

Now I'm pro-pre-school for extroverted kids and kids who like it. My own child attends 4.5 hrs / day and I drive her and she loves it. But from what I know of kindy/first grade, I don't think even head start programs do much except to catch up the children who are so far behind as to not be able to draw a straight line, say colors, etc.

[Zoesmama]

preschool subjects are rather easy to obtain at home. I taught my dd preschool. She did go to "preschool" by means of daycare but she already knew all the basic preschool things plus she knew her ABC's and could recognize all letters by 3 and started on her own putting together 3 letter words like cat, mom. Sights like starfall could be of use for letter learning but I think the basics is more colors, shapes, counting, saying abcs maybe.

I have that issue with her charter school now wanting to be met somewhere else. And if I gotta get in my car to take her I'll drive the whole 3 miles each way myself. If they'll meet us on the corner it could be walked easy enough. So I know that challenge. I think the sleeping in an hour later is nice for us but not sure I can afford to keep taking her like this but when I get back to working I'll be taking her anyway to before care so who knows.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by kathteach

I don't agree that it won't hurt any kid not to go. My son has special needs and preschool has given him a huge boost forward. He would really be struggling (even more so that he does anyway with an autism diagnosis) without that year.

I think she is addressing the "if your child doesn't go to preschool they will be forever behind and won't get into college" mind set and not saying that no child ever benefits from preschool.