Originally Posted by homew/two
One of the things I absolutely loved about being pregnant were the mw visits. The three women are just incredible and I've never been that close with any other primary care dr, or felt like a dr. knew me so well. I so wish midwives would carry on and be our children's pediatrician and my primary doctor and it does feel very sad to be done just like that after seeing them so frequently.
My dh had a vasectomy scheduled for last October and my bc prescription ran out in Sept. so we decided if something happens in Sept-Nov great but it probably would not and we'd have 2 great kids. To have dd2 join us was a great surprise and joy and I'm so glad life worked out the way it did. I'm also glad that we're done and I do enjoy the older ages more than this baby stage and so it is bitter sweet!
Oh, how I can relate to this. There are so many different pieces to what makes being "done" so difficult, and the midwife piece is an enormous part of it for me. I was talking with a high school best friend the other day who is entrenched in the birthing world and in mothering and very much understands what I am going through, and she reminded me that I have been mothered so well and so much by my midwife, mothered in a way that I, an adoptee who had a wonderful upbringing but was not mothered in this same way, did not necessarily have. It is an intersting perspective on what I am feeling right now...so so sad to not be pregnant again, to not experience that anticipation and the energy of such incredible creativity, and to not feel birth fully again, no more newborns, etc. At the same time, though, there is the loss of that mothering, that nurturing of me, which I certainly have in other areas of my life and from the people who love me, but it is different. I have wished so many times that I could have midwifery care for my general health. The midwifery model of care is, IMO, the way all caegivers should practice. Don't even get me started on that!
Trying very hard to focus on the moment, soak in this baby, and remember that DS and DD1 need my energy and attention, too. I turn so deeply inward during pregnancy that part of the trouble I am having now is emerging from that intensely me focused pregnancy state. Better everyday, but I know for certain that I need to make sure that my life's work happens in the birth world.