yes
I haven't read the whole thread yet, but yes. I have pangs. Now that I know all about attachment parenting/ TCC, natural family living... I sometimes wish I had started much earlier and had babies every 5 years or so... but I didn't and things are the way they are because this is the path I made.I had a baby boy when I was 23 and he died when he was 2 months old, then 5 years later I had a miscarriage, then I had dd1 when I was 33. I thought dd1 was enough. I thought she would be an only. Then I divorced. I was dating someone years later and, well, dd2 was not planned. So now I have 2 beautiful girls. There is a part of me that says, "wouldn't a boy be nice too?" But I am 40 now. Fertility has not returned. I am single. I have no career or job even... so I am not going to have another child. I savor every moment of dd2. While she is nursing, the cute things they both do.... She is no longer 'tiny' The newborn stage is my forte.. what i am best at for sure... when they turn 3, I am back in school so to speak.
Every passing of the baton, change of age, has its own things to deal with.... I am reminded of a line from "Arthur" (one of my fave movies), when Arthur is visiting his butler/ surrogate father in the hospital. they have a discussion about how hard it is to be the old one and Arthur says, "sorry but its your turn to be the old one" or something like that... it is our turn to be the elders... when we are born into a body again, we will be the young one, though we won't remember this time... but we have a chance at all of it. Now is my turn to be the old one.... well not that old yet, but I am coming to terms with this being the last baby for sure.
