I'm 35 weeks and all my kids have been born early, one at 32 weeks, one at 34, one just under 36, so I'm expecting this baby to be born soon. I have to be 36 weeks to have the baby at home so just one more week.
Yesterday was the home visit with the midwife and her assistant. DH has not attended any of the prenatal appointments because of work, not a big deal since he has never gone to appointments even with the babies I saw an ob with. He has never been very involved with any of the pregnancies or births (he was overseas for the last one) but I'm ok with that, I'm not expecting lots of active help - just quiet support.
After the home visit he told me how crazy he thinks homebirth is. He doesn't just think it's a bad idea for me, he was going on about how the baby is 'three times more likely to not live through it' and how if anything happens it will all be my fault. I tried to explain about how the statistics he was quoting are flawed because they group all homebirths together but he didn't seem to care. He is especially annoyed over the idea of a birth pool but he didn't explain why. I have a feeling that at least part of the problem is the cost even though I saved money out of my household budget to pay for the midwife and birth supplies.
All the other kids were born in hospitals and I'm not opposed to hospital birth but after researching the hospital here I decided it was not a place I wanted to give birth. DH said he didn't see the big deal with all the issues there: the nearly 50% c-section rate, the cps calls when parents refuse bottles of formula, the mandatory nursery stays, ivs in labor, bed confinement in labor, constant monitoring in labor, and so on. He just doesn't get what the problem is!
He is saying that he's not sure if he wants to be here for the birth, he's thinking of taking the other kids to a hotel. I'm so disappointed that he is even thinking about not being here.
I wonder if part of the problem is how he was brought up. His dad is a doctor, as are many other members of his family. His little brother was born by accident at home and had to go to the hospital (but was fine and the problem would have happened in the hospital anyway, I know because I got the whole story from his mom).
Has anyone else had this problem so late in the game?
Yesterday was the home visit with the midwife and her assistant. DH has not attended any of the prenatal appointments because of work, not a big deal since he has never gone to appointments even with the babies I saw an ob with. He has never been very involved with any of the pregnancies or births (he was overseas for the last one) but I'm ok with that, I'm not expecting lots of active help - just quiet support.
After the home visit he told me how crazy he thinks homebirth is. He doesn't just think it's a bad idea for me, he was going on about how the baby is 'three times more likely to not live through it' and how if anything happens it will all be my fault. I tried to explain about how the statistics he was quoting are flawed because they group all homebirths together but he didn't seem to care. He is especially annoyed over the idea of a birth pool but he didn't explain why. I have a feeling that at least part of the problem is the cost even though I saved money out of my household budget to pay for the midwife and birth supplies.
All the other kids were born in hospitals and I'm not opposed to hospital birth but after researching the hospital here I decided it was not a place I wanted to give birth. DH said he didn't see the big deal with all the issues there: the nearly 50% c-section rate, the cps calls when parents refuse bottles of formula, the mandatory nursery stays, ivs in labor, bed confinement in labor, constant monitoring in labor, and so on. He just doesn't get what the problem is!
He is saying that he's not sure if he wants to be here for the birth, he's thinking of taking the other kids to a hotel. I'm so disappointed that he is even thinking about not being here.
I wonder if part of the problem is how he was brought up. His dad is a doctor, as are many other members of his family. His little brother was born by accident at home and had to go to the hospital (but was fine and the problem would have happened in the hospital anyway, I know because I got the whole story from his mom).
Has anyone else had this problem so late in the game?
REALLY?
He really doesn't see the problem with all of that?
That must be hard to lack his support. I've never seen such a clear-cut case for HB-- with a hospital like that, duh!
I hope he comes around.
Chiming in with the unpopular view, here! I actually think that what he's doing is perfectly normal. Not justifiable, not easy to live with . . . . just normal. 
Pre-baby anxiety always builds near the end, and people express it in different ways. It doesn't help that their anxiety contributes to the pregnant mama's anxiety!
