Self awareness?

[T-man's Mama]

I don't know how to phrase this, so it will probably sound a bit like a ramble. But once in a great while, I catch myself doing/saying something just thoughtlessly dumb and/or completely out of character, and berate myself mentally for many days after. It's as though I've betrayed my sense of identity/character, whatever you want to call it, and really beat myself up about it. This doesn't happen often, and could be a result of zoned out exhaustion/mental sleep walking. Obviously, I'm not good with forgiving myself for making mistakes -- never have been. And I'm not even talking about anything horrid like cheating on one's spouse or harming a child, more like social faux pas.

Does anyone else ever do this? ...I suppose a beneficial outcome is that I gain (temporarily at least) more tolerance for others' hurtful or idiotic actions.

[baileyann3]

Sometimes I say stupid things. Not even that stupid, but when I think about it in my mind I realize someo e may have taken it a different way then I meant it. I think that happens to everyone.

But, like you, I soak in it forever. I can't get it out of my mind. I reply the whole conversation over and over. It's exhausting. I totally feel you. I'll even ask someone, like dp, what he thought of what I said. He usually says something like, "yeah, they may have taken it the wrong way, but it doesn't really matter" which is probably true, but it always takes me forever to get over it. Sometimes I think I should call the person, explained- but then get paranoid that they didn't take it the wrong way but might rethink after I plant that seed, or they will just straight think I'm stupid for harping on it.


So no real advice, but I feel you.

[T-man's Mama]

Originally Posted by baileyann3

Sometimes I say stupid things. Not even that stupid, but when I think about it in my mind I realize someo e may have taken it a different way then I meant it. I think that happens to everyone.

But, like you, I soak in it forever. I can't get it out of my mind. I reply the whole conversation over and over. It's exhausting. I totally feel you. I'll even ask someone, like dp, what he thought of what I said. He usually says something like, "yeah, they may have taken it the wrong way, but it doesn't really matter" which is probably true, but it always takes me forever to get over it. Sometimes I think I should call the person, explained- but then get paranoid that they didn't take it the wrong way but might rethink after I plant that seed, or they will just straight think I'm stupid for harping on it.


So no real advice, but I feel you.

Yes -- this exactly. Something I've said (or misunderstood) can just eat away at me. And my DH is like yours - he isn't bothered in the least by the possibility of having offended someone, particularly if it wasn't intentional. Maybe that's an introvert vs. extrovert issue.