babies and ponds/water landscaping

[JordanKX]

I need some advice. DP is determined to put in a pond, a full-fledged Big pond in our backyard. Deep, so to protect the fish that might be eaten by raccoons.

Up until a few months ago, I was all for the idea. It'd look nice (he's very skilled and creative - this is what he does for a living). But now that DS is getting highly mobile and will be walking soon - and is such a fish-baby... Loves the water, is all about the water, this isn't seeming like such a great idea.

I'm all for cornering it off and protecting it (hiding it), but it's just seeming like an unnecessary worry/concern for something to do with our backyard when we have a little one. DP will not even entertain the idea of a dry-bed, small waterfall idea. He's perturbed at even the thought.

Am I being unreasonable at now questioning this thought?

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

We bought our house with a pond, and it's a bit of a worry for me. It's not big - but quite big enough for a toddler to drown in. We haven't fenced it - DD was not at all adventurous and it was easy to keep her in sight - but we'll see what DS' personality is like and whether it needs to be fenced. DH keeps saying to me "well, I assume we're going to keep DS in our sight at all times". We shall see about that... easy for him to say when he's at work all day...

If I were you, I'd suggest your DH hold off for a couple of years until your DS is safer. Do you think he'd go for that?

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

We bought our house with a pond, and it's a bit of a worry for me. It's not big - but quite big enough for a toddler to drown in. We haven't fenced it - DD was not at all adventurous and it was easy to keep her in sight - but we'll see what DS' personality is like and whether it needs to be fenced. DH keeps saying to me "well, I assume we're going to keep DS in our sight at all times". We shall see about that... easy for him to say when he's at work all day...

If I were you, I'd suggest your DH hold off for a couple of years until your DS is safer. Do you think he'd go for that?

I think it's unnecessary to make a dangerous feature in the backyard. I want my kids to be able to play outside with me only having to pay "light" attention to them. Pools are always supposed to be fenced, I wouldn't expect anything less of a deep pond.

[P.J.]

I personally wouldn't even think about building a pond without a fence or childproof enclosure.

[Peony]

I have a friend two streets over from me that has a pond on the side of her house, it isn't very big or that deep, but enough that she lives in constant fear of her 3y old. They spend a fortune putting in fences all over the yard that the child couldn't climb over and gates that she couldn't open, all the doors inside are childproofed. The girl still escaped this summer and the first place the mom went to look for her was the pond, she told me that was the worst feeling she had ever had, running down to the pond and hoping the child wasn't there.

It is NOT unreasonable to ask him to wait a few years until your child is older. Your DH probably is clueless about small children and water safety, it isn't something you will have to worry about for months but for years. It is so not worth the risk/worry right now. The mobility will only increase and the attraction water holds for some children is great.

[dahlialia]

MIL and FIL have a deep pond. While the grandkids are little, they had black metal grating installed over it. It still looks good - the plants grow through the grating, and the frogs can get through it. But it keeps the kids out.

[carmel23]

A baby can drown in an inch of water.

I would treat it like a backyard pool and have a fence around it with an alarm. If your DP isn't into that, wait 3 years. until baby is bigger and can understand that playing around the pond can only happen when parents are around.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by dahlialia

MIL and FIL have a deep pond. While the grandkids are little, they had black metal grating installed over it. It still looks good - the plants grow through the grating, and the frogs can get through it. But it keeps the kids out.

This is a really good idea.

[JordanKX]

OP here. Thank you all for your responses - especially the ones on ways to make it work - the Grate is an idea I'll pass along to DP if he is completely unwilling to accept delaying the pond. Right now he just leaves the room when I start talking alternatives.

My fear is exactly what was posted... the What If... and the idea that DS wouldn't be allowed outside to roam. We live in somewhat suburbia... he needs his back yard. It's what he has when we're not going to the park. And while I'd be here, Of Course! just that added fear of... what if.

Thanks again for your advice.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by dahlialia

MIL and FIL have a deep pond. While the grandkids are little, they had black metal grating installed over it. It still looks good - the plants grow through the grating, and the frogs can get through it. But it keeps the kids out.

This is magnificent. DS is already proving to be more interested in water than his sister, and more adventurous. The grate would be more attractive than a fence, and with our setup, far easier to install. It would have the added bonus of keeping some leaves out of the pond as well. I think we're going to do this!

[Lrcg]

We put in a 1 acre pond prior to having kids and we have a 22 month old and a 5 month old and I'm not concerned by it. Granted it is @ 250 ft from our back door but we do allow our oldest out there when we are there. He's a HUGE water baby- when we're on the beach he'll walk right into the water. But from an early age he was taught how far he can walk out (meaning in our yard), he's not allowed on the rock edge of the pond and no beach without someone with him and he must hold hands with someone when he's on the dock. He listens very well (heck we don't even have a gate for our stairs in our house and its never been an issue). I think PP said it right when she said you can drown in an inch of water- anything/everything can be dangerous to babies/toddlers/kids- you just have to be responsible and pay attention. Frankly I love it- not only can we swim in it, fish in it but also ice skate on it- what a dream for a kid to have all that in their own backyard!

[lookatreestar]

i personally wouldn't take the chance. it is just so fast, and drowning is so quiet. not a good combo.

[ivymae]

I would be really upset if my partner wouldn't listen to my concerns when it came to our child's safety. FWIW, my husband was pretty lax about water safety when our oldest was little (leaving her in the bathtub "for just a second", not making her wear a lifejacket in the boat), until a friend nearly lost her son in a kiddie pool while she was sitting 3 feet away. Luckily a older child saw him, and alerted mom, but she was right.there. and did not realize what was happening, because drowning isn't this big movie event people imagine. So, no, I would not allow freestanding water in our backyard, where my children should be able to roam safely. The grate sounds like a cool idea, and a reasonable compromise.

There will be time for his dream pond, but this is not the time.

[mshane]

That could have been really devastating. That's why it is always goos to hire a professional because they all know what's safe and not. Thank for sharing this with us.
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