9 month-old will not let me put him down unless i'm right there

[kaismamma]

my 9 month old son will not let me put him down unless i'm right there with him... all the time. he's crawling and starting to cruise.

this wouldn't be so bad but, i also have a 2 year old and she needs my attention, too. i use a sling but some things can be difficult even with a sling.

any suggestions? should i just set him down and let him cry? i hate doing that...

[ShwarmaQueen]

I'm in the same situation here (9.5 mo). I do what I can with him on my hip and sling, but honestly, there are times when I just can't hold him (my 20 second daily shower) or while going potty- he just has to cry sometimes. If DH isn't here and DS isn't sleeping, I can't help it. I try, it pains me to hear him cry, but I know he'll be fine in the end.

It's really tough I know! Sorry for not helping...

[Knitting Mama]

Maybe try a wrap or carrier instead of the sling so you can do a back carry? Back carries make it so much easier to wear the baby all the time, from what I hear!

[beebalmmama]

I second the idea for a back carrier. That way your hands are more free to do other things and to take care of your toddler.

[asunlitrose]

9 months is a really common age for separation anxiety. Babies are trying new things and get scared to try them unless they know that their support is right by their side.

I know it's annoying. How long has this been going on? It usually passes. I think Dr. Sears talks about it in The Baby Book, but I've loaned my copy out...

[kayabrink]

When my older ds needs my attention (admittedly this is much easier for me- he's six, not two, but you could try your luck) what has worked is confining all three of us in a small area (baby's room works great- at least it's getting some use). DD can hang out, crawl, cruise around on low furniture, and I can sit on the floor so she knows I'm not going to escape, while I focus on ds. Like I said though, he's older and usually wants me to do lego or read (while dd tries to eat the lego/ book )
I feel your pain though, dd doesn't even like it when I move around, she's always suspicious that I'm trying to make a break for it.

eta: when we go to the park/out, I always put dd in a back carry in the wrap, so I can run/climb on the jugle gym/be darth vader to ds's luke

[P.J.]

I agree that it's worth it to try various carriers and wraps and positions to see if you can find a way to carry him and still do other things and take care of your toddler.

I also agree that sometimes babies and kids are not happy and will protest the situation, but there's nothing you can do. My LO can be a real fussybutt sometimes, and there are situations when I have to do s.thing else and he just has to sit there and fuss for a few minutes. I don't see this as bad parenting at all, as long as it's not long stretches of time or ignoring his basic needs.

One of the mamas on this very forum said something that has stuck with me, I read it a few months ago and I don't know who said it but:

Being a good mom and meeting all of your baby's needs is not always about ensuring that they never have a single unhappy moment ever.

[BtotheG]

My dd is 10.5 months and just coming out of this clingy phase. I agree with previous posters who said sometimes there is no avoiding putting them down, even if they are unhappy about it.

One thing that worked sometimes, was if I sat down on the floor with her on my lap, and let her wander away from me. Once she was occupied and playing, I could get up and do a few quick things. It seemed to work much better to have *her* walk away from *me*, rather than for me to put her down and walk away.

Either way, they will grow out of it!

[kaismamma]

Thanks, everyone!

My parents/hubby have been wanting to try a back carrier for themselves so maybe I'll look into a Moby or an Ergo.

P.J.- "Being a good mom and meeting all of your baby's needs is not always about ensuring that they never have a single unhappy moment ever. "
This is so true; I need to remember that!

[Knitting Mama]

I personally wouldn't do a Moby because the stretchiness worries me, I much prefer my woven wrap. But that is personal preference, and if you're good with stretchy then definitely go for it.

[BeckyBird]

We are going through the ultra-clingy phase here too! It helps to remember that, once the baby starts to walk, s/he will usually become more independent. Then, we will be chasing them all around, trying to keep track of them. We will soon wish the baby would stick with us like before!

Some days, you have to hold the baby more often. We've been going through days like this a lot lately. I agree with other posters...find a small safe room to sit with the baby, or sit on the floor and let the baby crawl off of you and explore. Lots of times, I'll go in my bedroom floor and lie on our floor mattress. Arianna will soon get bored with me, and then crawl and play in the room. I can watch her and relax at the same time.