danger discipline with 8 month old

[plantnerd]

I'm the mom of an almost 9 month old who is in the getting into everything stage. He's a fast crawler, climber, and cruiser, and I have a feeling is on the verge of independent walking any minute. As my mom says, he is in the "tarantula stage" LOL.
He is fascinated with electrical cords. We've babyproofed about as well as we can, but of course appliances, lamps, etc need to be plugged in to work! So far when he goes for it I let him get to it, then go to him and say "no no no" and shake my head, remove his hands, and move him away. He definitely is begginning to understand it b/c he was look at me over his shoulder as he's going for it, and as I head over he starts shaking his head. But he keeps it up anyway. He is also trying to work out overcoming the safety gates by pushing his xylophone over to them to stand on so he can mayyyybe get that leg over the top finally. While I have no plans leaving him unnatended any time soon, I am concerned that once he is walking nothing will be safe from the kamikaze terrorist (a danger to himself and others).
Any advice on how to make danger discipline stick for such a young baby? I know he is still very small, but he seems to be a pretty smart cookie, complete with a devilish glint in his eye

[nextcommercial]

At this age, the best way is just to keep it away from him.

http://www.google.com/products?rlz=1...ed=0CEEQzAMwAg

Then, unbaby proof a few things. Leave magazines out, leave old remotes around. Let him think he can't have those things, because at this age, all they want is what they can't have.

One thing I know they love is, I will fill an old soda bottle or big water bottle part way with colored water and put a few colorful things in it. Glue, then tape the lid on so he can't open it. Leave those around so he thinks they aren't his. They don't have a long lifespan, so throw them away after a week.

Oatmeal containers with the lids on are also inviting. Then, if you put a couple of blocks inside, he'll love those.

Just don't expect him to love his toys right now. He like things that aren't his toys. Especially the things that you say "no, no!" to.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

At this age, the best way is just to keep it away from him.

http://www.google.com/products?rlz=1...ed=0CEEQzAMwAg

Then, unbaby proof a few things. Leave magazines out, leave old remotes around. Let him think he can't have those things, because at this age, all they want is what they can't have.

One thing I know they love is, I will fill an old soda bottle or big water bottle part way with colored water and put a few colorful things in it. Glue, then tape the lid on so he can't open it. Leave those around so he thinks they aren't his. They don't have a long lifespan, so throw them away after a week.

Oatmeal containers with the lids on are also inviting. Then, if you put a couple of blocks inside, he'll love those.

Just don't expect him to love his toys right now. He like things that aren't his toys. Especially the things that you say "no, no!" to.

lol! we do the same thing with DS. Also, use something for a few minutes and let him get to it. I would read an the back of the oatmeal container aloud, and then set it aside.

[LynnS6]

Developmentally, a child this age has a very hard time stopping an action once he has started. Because of this, it's better to stop him as he's STARTING rather than once he's going. If he finds that he just can't ever get there, eventually he'll give up and go for more interesting things.

Since he's an active kid, make sure that you give him opportunities for climbing and exploring. He's not too little to take to the park. We had a child-sized slide in our house at that age.

Spend a lot of time telling him what he CAN do and preventing him from getting to what he shouldn't.

[vrclay]

We intentionally used the word danger instead of no. And then moved him to something else to play with - usually that blasted battery operated Elmo activity table that granny insisted on buying...I hated it when it first came to live at our house but now I love it because it can distract him from ANYTHING.

[Tway]

Oh, thank you for this thread. DD and I were at Starbucks today, as we often are during the week, and DD was obsessed with the debit-card machine. She pointed at it and yelped and kicked and fought me to get ahold of it--from 6 feet away! I guess she thought it was the remote.

Usually she's very pleasant and eats her snack, babbles away, bats her eyes at people and is her usual good-humoured self. I had pictures of bigger and better tantrums in our future... but maybe it is just a stage.

[mommyhoodnxtrt]

These are all great suggestions! My seven month is the same way as your nine month old, so know that you are not alone! She loves electrical cords, cell phones, etc. She also will look back at either my husband or I as she is going for these things, but will, and like your baby, keep going. We had just been providing her with substitutions when she wanted an unsafe option, and that has been working for the most part. I am going to try all of the things that the other commentators suggested.
-Jessica

[happysmileylady]

When my 22 month old started crawling, we really just worked to barricade all the walls where stuff was plugged in...and didn't plug things into outlets that were exposed to her. We just protected those with the plastic outlet covers. We truely rearranged the rooms we were most commonly in.

My phone and answering machine are pugged into the wall and then a couch is in front of them, with the phone and machine resting on an end table next to the couch, so that all those wires are behind the couch. The tv, dvd, cable, etc are all on the entertainment center that is in front of the wall that stuff is plugged into. We placed a chair and the baby furniture all in front of the fireplace so the hearth was blocked (it's brick, with a sharp edge.)

At that age, they are JUST starting to learn those things, so I think that doing the things that you are doing, and continuing to do so will just continue to teach her.

[mtiger]

For outlets, you can buy covers that allow you to still have appliances plugged in.

For gates, a lot depends on where you're putting them. For stairs, I put on on the edge of the first step - made the gate that much higher - on the bottom. For the top? I used two gates - the inner one higher than the outer - harder to climb over.

[Minxie]

Okay, this might sound a bit silly but...what I did was to walk around the kitchen with my DS pointing out the dangers and saying, "NOT for Bubbie." I also showed him the places he COULD touch and said, "OKAY for Bubbie." I did babyproof one cabinet for the cleaning supplies but that was the only one that was "NOT for Bubbie" and he didn't bother it anyway.

Whenever he approached something he shouldn't, I reminded him, "NOT for Bubbie" and moved him to a safer spot saying "Okay for Bubbie" or some derivation of such. I tried very hard to avoid saying, "No, no" to him; there was an article I read that detailed why but I've slept since then. The basic idea was to redirect using positive language; more like "This is what you CAN touch". HTH

[karika]

quick chime in... the looking over the shoulder as they are going for it (the thing we say "No, no, no" to) has now become a game to them. They think it is their part of the game to go for the thing, then they look at you to see if you are engaged in playing the game, then your part (in their mind) is the phrase, "no, no, no"

dd2 is known as 'fingers' here. she gets into everything. With dd1 our house was big enough to make all places she could reach safe for her. All the bottom kitchen cabinets were for old tupperware, pots and pans and other things she played with. All outlets had furniture in front of them. We moved many things into the spare room until she got old enough not to rip the vhs movie boxes, etc. My rule of thumb is if it can kill them in less than a minute, like in seconds, it has to be changed or moved (bookshelves taht can tip over should be nailed to wall or moved)

I am in the camp that says make all the places they can go and things they can do safe (but not completely feasible in the small space we are in now). I also am with the children all the time. When dd2 started turning over the duplo container to stand on to reach kitchen counters, I put it in her sister's room (which we keep shut). Same thing with her little plastic car someone gave her. Today we brought the duplos back out and played with both girls actively, she has not tried to use it as a stool again yet. but if she does, I will remove it again.

Both my girls were fascinated with cords too. Must be traceable back to our primate roots, and cords represent snakes.... I had to just make it where they could not get to any of them. We use the overhead lights instead of lamps and I put outlet protectors in all the outlets this time.

I agree with using keywords like danger (and sparingly) instead of 'no' and telling them what they can do instead of what they can't i.e "Pet the kitty gently" instead of "Don't hurt the cat"

I wrote this in two sessions hope it makes sense..

[plantnerd]

Great advice everybody, thank you!

I guess part of it for me is beginning discipline with him in general ie getting him get used to the fact that some things are not for D, and he needs to listen to me when I correct him, that it is not a game. It's hard to be stern when the little monster is grinning and cackling as he gets into the same thing you removed him from 3 seconds ago though LOL

I'm hoping if I get started now (although to many he's too young for discipline and should be allowed free range) rather than all of a sudden when he's 12 or 18 or 24 months, that it will just be how it is, instead of a sudden "so your a kid now and there are rules".

To clarify a bit more, I'm a mostly AP parent. I don't think that young kids should be physically corrected or be like little soldiers, but I do have boundaries, and well, life isn't always sunshine and rainbows kid, so I do expect him to behave and listen to me when I expect a certain behavior to stop.

Ha, and I thought the newborn stage was tough!

[alicia622]

I think using a less common word- such as danger is a good suggestion. Kids hear no so often that it losses some of it's ooomph but saying danger in a dramatic tone works wonders.

[Minxie]

Originally Posted by plantnerd

Great advice everybody, thank you!

I guess part of it for me is beginning discipline with him in general ie getting him get used to the fact that some things are not for D, and he needs to listen to me when I correct him, that it is not a game. It's hard to be stern when the little monster is grinning and cackling as he gets into the same thing you removed him from 3 seconds ago though LOL

I was not stern with my DS until he was about 2 1/2 years old. I laughed lots and lots, even when I was correcting him. If he was doing something truly dangerous, I would correct him gently at first and redirect him. If he was doing something that I just didn't want him doing, I would scoop him up and tickle him while saying, "ah-ah, not for Bubbie!"

My point is that I try only to be stern with him when it is IMPORTANT. If it is not so important, there's no reason NOT to play with him.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by plantnerd

I'm hoping if I get started now (although to many he's too young for discipline and should be allowed free range) rather than all of a sudden when he's 12 or 18 or 24 months, that it will just be how it is, instead of a sudden "so your a kid now and there are rules".

This is a nice theory, but I wouldn't count on it. Just because you think you're laying a foundation for an excellent child who will listen "just because I say so" doesn't mean that will mesh with his personality. You may think something is "just how it is" because it's been that way, but it doesn't mean that he won't go through normal developmental stages that will mean he completely ignores you or tests you.

We are free-range, and we did not baby proof. We let our kids have all sorts of things - pretty much whatever was out - so we never had to say "don't touch" or "danger" a lot. When there was a real danger, such as a parking lot, we were very specific about why they couldn't run around wildly. Just a stream of "don't" or "no" isn't very effective. I don't understand waiting until he is at something to get him and tell him no, though. That's just setting it up for a game, but I don't know if something about your parenting philosophy suggests that's a good course of action.

[alegna]

It's simply not realistic to expect impulse control from an infant. It's not developmentally appropriate in any way. With infants (and toddlers...) our job is to make the area safe and redirect and distract as needed.

-Angela

[mamazee]

"getting started" with this at 8 months old is as pointless as it would be at six weeks old. An 8-month-old is just plain way way too young to "get it" or even come close to that. Babies don't "behave" or do as they're told because they don't have the ability to, not because of what expectations they're given. He won't have any impulse control at 12 months either. A bit at 24 months but even then not much. To start at 8 months isn't going to help you any more than starting at one day old would help.

There are some good resources online if you google "child development" and then the specific age. That might give you an idea of what can be expected of children at various ages. It sounds like you have the expectation that your 8-month-old has the understanding and impulse control of a 3-year-old, or at least soon will, and I'm worried about how that will impact your dynamic with him.

[ErinYay]

V is 8.5-months-old, and is such a technophile! (Wonder where she gets that from? )

Recently we stopped worrying about cords that aren't attached to anything- like random USB cables that she somehow pulls from the ether. She is lately obsessed with chewing on metal (she's teething hard, and also is a weirdo) so I'll throw her a hooded sweatshirt or something like that so she can chew on the zipper.

It's a LOT of redirection before the fact, and distraction and replacing items after the fact. I do a lot of "BUH-BUH-BUH!" and "EH-EH," as I do with the dogs, and save "NO!" for really dangerous stuff like pulling the Xbox cord.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by plantnerd

I'm the mom of an almost 9 month old who is in the getting into everything stage. He's a fast crawler, climber, and cruiser, and I have a feeling is on the verge of independent walking any minute. As my mom says, he is in the "tarantula stage" LOL.
He is fascinated with electrical cords. We've babyproofed about as well as we can, but of course appliances, lamps, etc need to be plugged in to work! So far when he goes for it I let him get to it, then go to him and say "no no no" and shake my head, remove his hands, and move him away. He definitely is begginning to understand it b/c he was look at me over his shoulder as he's going for it, and as I head over he starts shaking his head. But he keeps it up anyway. He is also trying to work out overcoming the safety gates by pushing his xylophone over to them to stand on so he can mayyyybe get that leg over the top finally. While I have no plans leaving him unnatended any time soon, I am concerned that once he is walking nothing will be safe from the kamikaze terrorist (a danger to himself and others).
Any advice on how to make danger discipline stick for such a young baby? I know he is still very small, but he seems to be a pretty smart cookie, complete with a devilish glint in his eye

Just get the cords out of where he can get them. Duct tape them to the wall, put them under furniture.

Cords may contain lead and other stuff. Babies *should not* chew on them (even if they are not plugged in).

Just watch him, if there is something he can't have, remove it/secure it.