DS is 3 and has SPD (and maybe some other issues, waiting on further evaluation.) He doesn't do well in places with lots off kids. That said, he seeks sensory input as well as avoids and needs to do a lot of climbing, running, spinning etc. Yesterday, we went to a mall play area, which we usually avoid but it's been over 100 for what seems like a century and he needed a place to get some of that energy out. It wasn't very crowded, so he was able to play (if it's too crowded, he won't play, he'll climb onto my lap and cry, covering his ears.) He did pretty well, but he really gets upset it he gets boxed in by other kids. IE if he's waiting to go down a slide and another kid starts climbing up, his whole body tenses up, he closes his eyes, starts flapping his hands etc. If I don't step in, he often hits the child who he feels is too close or has a complete melt down and starts screaming. In one such instance yesterday, it took me a second to get to him (I had 16 month old dd there as well) and he had just started screaming as I picked him up. He threw his arms around my neck and hid his head in my chest, even shaking a bit. As I was calming him down, the mother of the girl who had "been in his space" came up to me and asked if she hit him. I told her no, he's just sensitive about space. She didn't seem to believe it, saying her dd hit sometimes and I told her no, I saw it all and her dd didn't. Then she said something about "but he's so upset.." and I said again that it was due to my son's own space issues, but she walked off looking bewildered.
Should I give more information than that? I didn't want her dd punished for something she didn't do, but I hate having to throw labels out there all the time. We also had issues with another parent of a child he was actually playing really well with (for him) She kept giving me odd looks and trying to encourage her dd to do things other than play with my son. Her dd was having a good time playing with my ds, they were chasing each other, played hide and seek etc. I think the mom's issue was, as much as my son hates people in his space, he gets into the space of others all the time, and he stood really close to her dd, hugged her, kissed her, ran up to this girl's mom and gave her a hug etc. I took him aside a few times and told him he has to ask to touch people.... but I could tell he made this woman very uncomfortable. To the point that I eventually tried to get ds to play with his sister instead because I was not getting a good feeling from this mom, but her dd kept coming and finding him again and they were so happy playing with each other. Eventually, she took her little girl and left.
It was just so sad because for ds, this was really positive social interaction, sooo much better than it often goes. I don't really know what I should have done. Maybe nothing different. We don't do a lot of activities with large groups because it doesn't go well, so when he plays it's either at the park (he has such a better time outside) or with small groups of kids who we know and everyone understands ds, plus he's better in small groups in general - but I think trying this kind of thing out is good for him every once in awhile so I should be better prepared to handle it. I think part of it with that second girl is that that he was acting in ways that made if fairly clear that he had some special needs (lots of hand flapping as he tends to do when excited, lots of spinning and squealing...) and maybe it was just this woman's own issues of being uncomfortable around kids who are different.
So should I be explaining ourselves better or should I try and let it roll of my back or what? Sorry this is kind of disjointed, it's hard to express exactly what went on as a lot of it was body language and nervous glances etc.
Should I give more information than that? I didn't want her dd punished for something she didn't do, but I hate having to throw labels out there all the time. We also had issues with another parent of a child he was actually playing really well with (for him) She kept giving me odd looks and trying to encourage her dd to do things other than play with my son. Her dd was having a good time playing with my ds, they were chasing each other, played hide and seek etc. I think the mom's issue was, as much as my son hates people in his space, he gets into the space of others all the time, and he stood really close to her dd, hugged her, kissed her, ran up to this girl's mom and gave her a hug etc. I took him aside a few times and told him he has to ask to touch people.... but I could tell he made this woman very uncomfortable. To the point that I eventually tried to get ds to play with his sister instead because I was not getting a good feeling from this mom, but her dd kept coming and finding him again and they were so happy playing with each other. Eventually, she took her little girl and left.
It was just so sad because for ds, this was really positive social interaction, sooo much better than it often goes. I don't really know what I should have done. Maybe nothing different. We don't do a lot of activities with large groups because it doesn't go well, so when he plays it's either at the park (he has such a better time outside) or with small groups of kids who we know and everyone understands ds, plus he's better in small groups in general - but I think trying this kind of thing out is good for him every once in awhile so I should be better prepared to handle it. I think part of it with that second girl is that that he was acting in ways that made if fairly clear that he had some special needs (lots of hand flapping as he tends to do when excited, lots of spinning and squealing...) and maybe it was just this woman's own issues of being uncomfortable around kids who are different.So should I be explaining ourselves better or should I try and let it roll of my back or what? Sorry this is kind of disjointed, it's hard to express exactly what went on as a lot of it was body language and nervous glances etc.
, mama.
Her DD has some issues too, and both of you are just trying to figure out how to help your own kids in groups. It's all OK.
I'd focus on that part.
