I'm so sorry you're going through this...I bounced around a LOT when I was pregnant with DD2. I didn't settle on the midwife group/hospital where I ended up delivering until I was way past 20 weeks (maybe 25?). I tried at least three other providers before finally picking that group. And even then, I wasn't really sold on the decision until I actually gave birth. Then the birth experience was so amazing and so exactly-what-i-hoped-for that I was actually excited to go back. Even though the mw I delivered with isn't with the group any more, the others are good enough that I think I still feel comfortable with the choice this time around.
So...all that to say...I know that it's really unsettling to not have your prenatal care all lined up right at the beginning. My two cents would be: get on that wait list and then line up your second choice. Don't go with the midwife you're not comfortable with...you still have to plan realistically and include the possibility that this will be it and you'll end up delivering with whatever care provider was your "second choice." Since I have firsthand experience with rotating care amongst a large-ish group of midwives, I can say it's not that bad. You just have to try to not get your heart set on any one being at the delivery and make sure you feel get to know each (that's why it's good to deliberately rotate early and often). I do know that there is one midwife at my group who I really don't care for at all and I am praying with all my might that she is not the one on call when I go into labor with this babe. :-) But...I can't dwell on that right now.
I'm really glad you have a hospital that will support your VBAC. I'll be praying you get to see the midwife you really like. :-)
Originally Posted by CookAMH
I'm on a waiting list and I'll still go to the meet-n-greet (I originally wasn't going to but you and my husband recommended it).
That is true about transferring care and an opening...I wouldn't wish the other reason on someone (a m/c since it's still early)...
I think I will probably just wait a week or two and see what happens, then I should probably get care from someone else in the meantime and transfer over. Should I go with the other midwife I didn't really like? If I had to have her for the birth, I would (her personality just kind of annoys me). Better that option than a worse one? At this hospital, these are the two independent midwives. Otherwise, I could use 1 of 7 midwives in another group but I would have to cycle through all of them for prenatal care and get any one of them, which isn't very appealing for me. I feel like I need to know the midwive who will attend my vbac. And this hospital, by the way, is the #1 place to have a VBAC.
ETA: re filling up already - this midwive is really busy and desired in our area. I wish I had taken that more seriously last week and made an appt.