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No Motivation - Page 2

post #21 of 42
Thread Starter 
Hypothyroidism does seem to run in the family, but fortunately I don't suffer from it. I hadn't thought of ADHD and just looked it up. I do seem to have similarities to the inatentive type, but not enough to make me think that I have it. I do have a habit of not paying attention and going off into daydreams at inapropriate times. I'm a bit rubbish at listening sometimes as my mind wanders off easily.

I met up with a friend today who has a 10 month old, and mentioned my problem with motivation. It turns out she has exactly the same issues as me, so I'm feeling a bit better about it. Maybe it is normal for mothers afterall. Also, I went mad and baked a cake at 8am, which made me feel more productive.
post #22 of 42
I have much the same problem. I thought there was physically something wrong with me, but all my blood work came out normal. I am going to look into supplements. So far B complex helped in the past and the occasional cup of coffee seems to help

OP, I don't know your background or if it is anything like mine, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts about my own experience, maybe some of it will resonate with you.
I am in my mid 20's, my entire childhood was continuously stressful. I went to go live in another state on my own and shortly after married an emotionally abusive man, then had two kids within 2 years. Point here is that the majority of my life, I have been under continuous stress. I have had my times, but generally for the last several years I don't feel consciously anxious or depressed. I am often happy, have a good mood and am optimistic. But under the surface so much of my life has been just having to get through the current situation that I haven't had time to process it all. Physiologically it makes sense that if the body is under constant stress when ever it feels able, it will shut down, try to recoup. Emotionally/mentally speaking I feel like I need a lot of time to just process things and zone out. Or even on some level it could be trying to escape reality. And I have noticed for me, if I feel overwhelmed, I shut down. Does it sound like something similar may be at play with you? I don't know what the solution is, but as they say, often times realizing where the problem lies is the first step.

Things to try: journaling, getting outside, exercise, supplements, starting simple routines to build some momentum, counseling/medication?

I hope you find something that helps.
post #23 of 42
Thread Starter 
Chimmoma; that does sound like a good possibility for me. Up until my early twenties I was living with my family on and off. My mum is an alcoholic and was emotionally abusive to me for as long as I remember. The stress of living with her actually gave me IBS.
I'm sure I heard somewhere that if you grow up around someone who just can't be bothered doing anything, and makes a big thing about having to do housework or whatever, that attitude can be passed on. So I half wonder if that's another issue. Mum has always moaned about how much housework she has to do, even now when she leaves it all for my Dad. She never had time for me and complained if I wanted to learn anything new like baking or cooking. I never did learn to cook until I moved out.
I thought that moving out would give me more motivation, but I've been away from home for 5 years now. But on the positive side my stomach doesn't have any problems anymore. I'm wondering if trying to put myself on a strict schedule might work. But knowing me, I'd probably just end up thinking, 'No chance, I can't be bothered'.
post #24 of 42
Have you ever read The Artist's Way?
post #25 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
Have you ever read The Artist's Way?
I just looked it up and it sounds interesting. Have you heard if it works well?
post #26 of 42
I've used it. I found the exercises definitely worth doing. It wasn't as earth-shaking as it claims to be, but it addresses issues of motivation.
post #27 of 42
Thread Starter 
Sounds promising! I've added it to my wish list. Thanks for the recommendation
post #28 of 42
I am the same... BUT I find that once I start something... a couple of minutes into it I'm fine... just like you said though, its the GETTING THERE that is hard...

what might work if this is the case for you: have a trustwrothy friend (someone maybe you look up to, not an email buddy) call you everyday and have ONE goal, start small (i.e. bake a cake)... and do it... this person has to hold you responsible for it... or you could just try it yourself.... the thing is one goal each day... once you force yourself to do it, you'll be glad and it might even motivate you to do something else...

you want to try to fix this so that you can set a good example for your daughter...

i've also found that my overwhelming to do list (that is in my head) keeps me from doing things because theres just too much i dont know where to start... now i focus on ONE thing and when that gets done, i move on... even if it takes a month to do... at least i only think of that one thing....
post #29 of 42
Thread Starter 
I do already have a few things I do each day; washing dishes, tidying the house, sometimes hoovering, cooking. I can do these because I know that if I don't, my fiance has to do it instead. And he's at work all day so that would be unfair.

But I do want to change for my daughter; I know how my Mum's behaviour affected me, and still affects me. I wouldn't want her to go through the same thing.
I've ordered The Artist's Way and am hopeful that it'll help me get back into drawing and being generally creative. I could really do with making a little money, yet even that doesn't motivate me. So maybe the book will.
post #30 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by nettlesoup View Post
Chimmoma; that does sound like a good possibility for me. Up until my early twenties I was living with my family on and off. My mum is an alcoholic and was emotionally abusive to me for as long as I remember. The stress of living with her actually gave me IBS.
I'm sure I heard somewhere that if you grow up around someone who just can't be bothered doing anything, and makes a big thing about having to do housework or whatever, that attitude can be passed on. So I half wonder if that's another issue. Mum has always moaned about how much housework she has to do, even now when she leaves it all for my Dad. She never had time for me and complained if I wanted to learn anything new like baking or cooking. I never did learn to cook until I moved out.
I thought that moving out would give me more motivation, but I've been away from home for 5 years now. But on the positive side my stomach doesn't have any problems anymore. I'm wondering if trying to put myself on a strict schedule might work. But knowing me, I'd probably just end up thinking, 'No chance, I can't be bothered'.
Yep, my mother was also an alcoholic and a highly dysfunctional person. Unfortunately for us, children from dysfunctional families often have problems not only with time management but many other things like having healthy relationships, setting boundaries, responsibility, positive self image, the list goes on. The way I see it, most people go around on "default" until they consciously try to change something. Default is what we learned in our families of origin. So if our families of origin practiced negative patterns, chances are we will have to work hard as adults to recognize them and change them. I feel like for me, it is almost like building up a whole new framework. You have to learn about healthy habits and work hard to change everything little by little. The first step is realizing that your life is not functional which is the most difficult thing that ever happened to me and the best thing that ever happened to me. There are tons of books specific to children of alcoholics if you are into self help books. One book that was a good start for me is An Adult Child's Guide to What's "Normal" Best of luck on your journey.
post #31 of 42
Thread Starter 
Thanks very much for the recommendation. I've recently discovered what you just mentioned, from reading Louise Hay. When I realised I had a problem, it made me feel really depressed for a week or two, but I'm now working on it with positive thinking and daily affirmations. I've also started the exercises in The Artist's Way, which I think may be helping already. I'm feeling a lot more positive and feel that I might be able to get over my motivation problems soon. This morning I did a lot of things before my daughter was up. I even cleaned a very mucky kitchen window and windowsill.
post #32 of 42
I wouldn't rule out ADD/ADHD.

Neurotransmitters have a LOT to do with motivation, etc.

I am not quite sure what all plagues me, but I know that my WANTS do not line up with what I am 'motivated' to do. So I wind up feeling like my motivation is perhaps not to blame.

Low and behold, ADHD meds really get me going! My DH asked if I was a different woman than the one he married. Meds aren't perfect so I'm looking for other ways to boost things, but it's good to know maybe it IS a chemical issue and not a personal lack of willpower or something.

Look up how ADHD presents in women. It's a bit different from general ADHD and might sound a little more accurate for you.

And see a Dr in any case. I don't think that not doing things you want to do is a sign of good health. Answers aren't always easy to come by, but they're worth looking for!
post #33 of 42
i have serious motivation and follow through problems. i also have adhd. i don't take meds for it now, i only took it during college, it really helped though. i would love to figure out a way to get the same fix without the meds ( i don't like the anxiety. i have that without the meds anyway)
i heard recently that acupuncture really helps adhd.
also,i just wandered into this thread and earlier today i was thinking about my motivation issues. i had decided that i would come up with a few little goals everyday and use a timer to schedule little bursts of work. so, 15 minutes of cleaning, and only allow myself 10 minutes of online time (that is a great time waster). 30 minutes of commited child attention time, 30 minutes of working on my class, etc. i hope that it helps me get used to working and at the end of the the day a bunch of 15-30 minute activity times should add up to lots accomplished, right? we'll see.
but, just wanted to say, i'm in the same motivation boat as you.
post #34 of 42
***ETA: Whoops, talk about ADHD.... missed my previous post But I am more sure than ever that chemical issues are to blame and also apparently just as frustrated as you are, OP.

Have you had any luck researching some possible causes?
post #35 of 42
Thread Starter 
I've been reading the mood cure and am going to get the amino acids I seem to be deficient in. The book has questionaires about your mood, and if you score high in certain areas you are led to the chapter concerning the type of mood problem. I scored high for a couple of amino acids I'm deficient in, and one involves having no motivation and feeling 'blah', which is me. I've started taking one of the amino acids I need; seratonin, but need to read the chapter for the one I need most. I'll try and update once I've started taking it.

ADHD is also interesting, as I do seem to have mild symptoms. So if the Mood Cure doesn't help, I'll start looking into that. But first I just want to start by supplementing and improving my diet.
post #36 of 42
I'm the same way...

What do you do when you're not doing what you think you should be doing?

Clearly you are not doing NOTHING... you are still doing SOMETHING. What is it? Sitting? Reading? Typing? Browsing the internet? Thinking? Breathing? Sleeping?

Start a journal. Keep procrastinating at your usual pace, and carry a tiny booklet and pen/pencil with you, and write down everything that you do. Write down in the margin how many minutes or hours you spend doing it.

Here's the hard part: DON'T JUDGE WHAT YOU WRITE! You are not writing it down so that you have a record of your "laziness" or so that you can put blame on yourself for how unproductive you are. Think of this as a science experiment. You are only collecting data. You are in the observational stage.

Observe (AND RECORD) your behaviour, for one week. Try to make this part of your daily routine somehow. Keep a book with you in your pocket, and write every time you sit down. Or put a journal on your computer, if you use it frequently, or use the "notes" feature in your Phone or PDA, if you have one. etc.

Do you think you can manage the above task, WITHOUT judgement?
post #37 of 42
Thread Starter 
Kivgaen; I usually spend far too much time browsing the internet, or on occassion I'll read a book. One of the reasons I don't do anything I want to do, such as crafts or drawing, is because my daughter insists on joining in. So really, there's no point. So I just sit at the computer because it's less hassle if she interrupts me. But even when she's asleep I tend to just browse the internet, it's a very bad habit. Once I start it's very difficult to get up and do something else.

I will give the journal a go, it sounds like it could be interesting. I had been writing 2 pages of thoughts every morning when I got up. It was an exercise from The Artist's Way, but it didn't really make any difference to anything.
post #38 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by nettlesoup View Post
I will give the journal a go, it sounds like it could be interesting. I had been writing 2 pages of thoughts every morning when I got up. It was an exercise from The Artist's Way, but it didn't really make any difference to anything.
I started my journal on September 23rd. I carried a book with me and I wrote in it for 3 days. I stopped writing in it on September 25th. I am just looking over my journal now and I observed that I had things written down in the journal in advance of me doing them... I believe I was trying to save time. But in essence, I basically created a TO-DO list... And then I stopped using the journal.

Interesting -- I never really thought about this before. Okay, I'm picking up my journal where I left off, and I will continue to just JOURNAL what I spend my time on. No judgement, no TO-DO lists, no thinking, just plain, simple, observations and recording. It would be even better if I could set up a nanny-cam in every room to record my life for me, and then I could just observe at the end of the week and write it down at that point, because the act of being aware of my behavior and observing it will change the behavior, and the nanny-cam would reduce the "observer effect". But I don't have a nanny-cam, so I will just have to do my best to not pay any mind to the "observations" and to just try to carry on as I would have done so without the observations.

You may ask -- what is the point of the journal? (I know you didn't ask, but I will answer it anyway!) This was the first exercise in a series of exercises that were designed to help with procrastination, goal setting, time management, etc. The theory behind the first exercise is that you cannot change a behavior that you are not aware of. So the first step is to bring an awareness to the behavior.

I haven't read about the second stage yet since I never finished the first exercise. But I have 4 more days to journal and then I will start on the next exercise.
post #39 of 42
Thread Starter 

UPDATE

             I thought it would be a good idea to post an update because I found my cure! I mentioned that I had started reading The Mood Cure. Well I started taking two supplements she recommended, and I can't believe how much they've changed me for the better! I really didn't expect such a huge improvement. I started taking 5HTP and L-Tyrosine, and the effects were almost instant! They are amino acids which occur naturally in food, but I needed the supplements because it turned out I was pretty deficient in them. I started on the 5HTP (seratonin) first, and it soon improved my moods and made me a lot happier. Soon after I started taking L-Tyrosine as well and it's made such a huge difference on my life!

 

   Thanks to these supplements, I am happier; my partner said yesterday that I laugh a lot more. My temper isn't nearly as bad and I'm not negative anymore. The increase in productivity has been great; I've been crocheting like mad lately! Before the supplements, I'd want to make something, but just couldn't put in the effort to make a start. Now I can quite happily start on something and keep going until it's finished. I always used to get bored of projects before they were finished. I think this has changed because now I feel really good about making things, and I'm now finding a lot of satisfaction in it. I think that's what has motivated me. I've also found that I look forward to things a lot more, and the prospect of something new excites me.

   There have also been a couple of unexpected improvements as well. As soon as I started taking the L-Tyrosine, my suigar cravings disappeared almost intsantly! I've been trying to fight these cravings for ages, and have never managed because they were too strong. Now it'll be no problem at all. This is because the supplement is giving me what my brain needs when it craves sweets, so the craving goes away. The other surprise was an increase in my sex drive. I had very little sex drive at all and the whole thing was a bit of a chore, but now I seem to be up for it almost every night! My partner is certainly not complaining!

 

   So that's what's been going on! I forgot to add, I keep getting so many ideas of things I want to make, and I desperately want to get started, but currently can't due to lack of tools. But hopefully sfter Christmas that'll change. So I'm really looking forward to a New Year of much productivity and creativity! I hope this post helps those of you with similar problems. I recommend The Mood Cure so much! It has comepletely changed my life for the better :D

post #40 of 42

That is great to hear! I am thinking that maybe I should check out that book as well now.

 

I've had a lot of success with diet: I am doing the bulk of protein during the first two meals and carbs at night. I'm also taking b6 daily, which is supposed to help with metabolizing all kinds of things.

 

However, I still have WICKED carb cravings and I'm sure that's due to some underlying imbalance. Keeping my blood sugar stable makes a huge difference, but I'd love to not desperately crave crap!

 

Will definitely look at getting that book ASAP.

 

I'm so happy to hear that you've discovered that life IS meant to be something that we are able to keep up with! I think it "normally" is that way too and I'm glad you didn't accept your earlier situation as being your fault or anything of that nature.

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