I haven't read all replies so apologies in advance if I'm doubling up.
I also like giving chamomile with a little honey - apparently honey is good to help the "excarnation" process which people talk about in relation to going to sleep. I have a feeling it's not really recommended for real littlies for this reason though (I'm guessing here, but under threes - anyone else know?). Or perhaps only in small doses at those particular times. Milk and honey is a good one too.
Do you have a lyre or something that you can play gently at bedtime (only listening while the instrument is singing?).
Lavendar bath milk works well - if nothing else then just for us as parents at that frazzled time of day!
I think it's a positive thing to go through the day's events, a useful habit to nurture, but only at a particular time - it's good to have that scheduled in at some point so they know they're going to have a chance to be heard.
I second an earlier bed time, though it can add to the stress.
That's all I can think of right now.