Want to CLW but life has other plans

[Pattyla]

I don't know anyone who might understand this but this group of women.

I am tandem nursing my 6.5 year old and my 2.5 year old. We are all pretty happy with the arrangement. But I have been diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and may need to go on medication that isn't safe for my nurslings. I am working on weaning them but it is breaking my heart. Also my body is just worn down. They each have their own chronic health conditions that may include Lyme. Caring for them and dealing with my own infection is exhausting. I have hope that stopping nursing may give my body more to work with.

Everything in my is rebelling against weaning though. I have told the 6 year old that her last day of nursing will be the day before she goes back to school. Trying to make it a coming of age thing. I feel like I need to wean her first and then her sister. I have her sister just nursing at naps and overnight for the most part now. She isn't night weaned. I don't know how to do it without her screaming it out for hours. I'm just so conflicted about this and hating it.

I just hoped that someone here could understand and give me support in this.

[PGTlatte]

Probably the easiest way through is to set your course and head straight for it. Your 6 yo may understand that this is necessary for your own health. Your 2.5 yo may be helped by transitioning to another comfort at night. Our DS2 transitioned to a sippy cup in his favorite color and sticking his hand down my shirt. It may sound funny but it was very comforting to him and the nights got easy pretty quickly. I thought it would be much harder than it was.

[tibeca]

I am very curious as to what medications they will have you taking that result in your not being able to breastfeed. I did a little google search, and everything I found said to continue breastfeeding.

Have you checked out the Infant Risk Center? Maybe they can help? http://infantrisk.org/

I don't mean to imply that you haven't done your research. I am just hoping that you don't have to stop. I can imagine the heart break, and wish that on no one.

[Pattyla]

Originally Posted by tibeca

I am very curious as to what medications they will have you taking that result in your not being able to breastfeed. I did a little google search, and everything I found said to continue breastfeeding.

Have you checked out the Infant Risk Center? Maybe they can help? http://infantrisk.org/

I don't mean to imply that you haven't done your research. I am just hoping that you don't have to stop. I can imagine the heart break, and wish that on no one.

Long term high dose antibiotics. Some of which aren't approved for young children. My children already have yeast overgrowth issues. I have only taken antibiotics myself once while breastfeeding and it resulted in my older dd having a bleeding diaper rash within 24 hours of my starting it.
I am hoping that I can lick this without them but after 6+ months of feeling like I have the flu every single day I can't say for sure. My children need a mother who can take them places and isn't stuck on the couch all day every day more than they need to breastfeed. The horrible thing is there is no guarantee that the abx will even work or get me better.

[missjessicajames]

*Big Hugs* I have Lupus and I know what it's like to feel like you can't be the kind of mom you need to be so you can take care of your little ones I'm sending you lots of love.

I just try to remind myself that I've always said my parenting philosophy i about everyone's needs getting met, including my own. I think us mommas sometimes forget to take care of ourselves.

Also the fact that you are thinking about the impact this will have on your little ones and that you are trying to make sure that this is as easy as it can be for them are testaments to what a great mother you are.

Follow your instincts about what is best from your family and I trust what ever you decide is what's actually best.

Again big hugs and lots of love!

[aileen]

patty - i remember you from here and the healing your gut tribe as well.
my heart is breaking for you.
but.
i feel like there is so much hope for you hidden in the scary diagnosis of chronic lyme.
a year from now you (and wisteria!) could be feeling better than you can even remember feeling.

i had lyme as a teenager and i have in the past blamed the two weeks of intravenous penicillin and 6 weeks of oral abx on my crappy gut health and my daughter's severe eczema and suffering. but the same steps you've taken toward healing your gut can help in healing chronic lyme. there's a connection there that's over my head - i know a small but growing pile of people who had lyme and can't eat gluten, eggs, corn... you name it. and i know lots of people who use abx willy nilly without those sorts of consequences...
i was a nervous wreck a few years ago when i found a deer tick on me. it tested negative for lyme but not before i cried a river about even just possibly weaning. (actually, maeve did stop nursing for those two weeks, and now considers it a contributing factor to her "early" weaning four or so months later at age 5.5. i forgot about that.) it's so strange to be so committed to nursing - in fact to, almost, because of food allergies have no choice BUT to CLW - and then have this happen.

i'm so sorry you are in this predicament.
and really all i wanted to say was that i know a small piece of your story and i know you can be the mother you are and want to be after you babies have weaned.
and i'm sending you strength.

alot of it.
i hope you heal well and fast - in heart and body.
aileen

[Aka mommy]

No tips for you, but wanted to send you hugs. My dh had disseminated lyme disease and it was pretty scary and his abx were pretty hardcore. One of which was through a PICC IV, not sure i could imagine breastfeeding while going through all of that. I do hope that you can figure out a way to take care of yourself and your children without feeling that you're doing the wrong thing.

[Pattyla]

Sorry I haven't posted back here. I'm still nursing and still dealing with Lyme disease. It is so hard to wean my dd early and yet I am so sick.

I just wanted to thank everyone for your kind words and support. It really helps. No one else understands why I would even want to continue nursing at this point.

Patty