Poll Inside

[heathergirl67]

Some issues are so divisive that a person's opinion on the matter can change how we view them. When a parent has done (what you consider to be) a sufficient amount of research into the issue of vaccination, and comes to a completely different conclusion than you, do you have a hard time respecting them?

LOL! It cut the title of my poll off! The last bit of the title was: "Assuming that the person did (what you consider to be) a sufficient amount of research on the matter?"

[xmasbaby7]

I am happy when anyone does research into the topic. That said, I suppose I do my best to hold back judgement when even a researched parent is still so plagued with fear and making all fear-based decisions (on either side of the debate).

I don't think fear based decisions have any place in good parenting or lead to the best outcomes. Forget parenting, that goes for life in general!

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I voted No, but it comes with stipulations.

1) do not preach to me how wrong I am for my decisions unless you have done atleast the same amount of research as me. I will not preach to you, EVER.

2) Do not presume that I made my decision flippantly. I DID NOT. I read and read, and watched webinars, and himmed and hawed, and CRIED AND CRIED. This was not a decision I came to lightly or easily, and I revisit the reasons for my decision regularly.

3) As long as you respect my decisions, I will respect yours. We all have a right to our opinions, how we parent and protect our children, and what we decide should be put into our bodies. It is our basic right as human beings to be able to make that choice.

PS, OP, I was wondering about the ASS part. hehe

[Marnica]

I voted NO and what Barbie said!

[ema-adama]

I always seem to need another option

I respect their choice.

However, it does change my opinion of them in that I will know that we do not share values with regards to health. Wanting to be healthy, yes. How you go about it, no.

Which of course is fine, and no reason to break up a friendship. I am friends with people who have informed themselves and who make different choices on all manner of things (not just vaccines). I am also friends with people who do not inform themselves and who just do what they are told to. It's not easy to have such different values from people you consider your friends, but it is perfectly possible if you can put your differences aside. If not, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

However, I do think it is essential to respect each person's choice. We can disagree about the reasoning behind the choice, but I would not go so far as to criticize the choice itself. In anything parenting/health related, no matter how many studies you find, essentially it is going to come down to your values (IMO anyway). Sometimes information can result in a completely different choice, but I think that is rare. IME, very rare.

People do what is most comfortable, and justify it rationally (sometimes). Often there is no rational reason, despite the reasons sounding terribly rational Humans are funny creatures.

[heathergirl67]

Ema-adama: I totally get what you are saying. To be honest, the last half of your post sounds to me like, "If they read the information that I have read, and are willing to be rational and objective (as opposed to trying to justify what's comfortable), then they'll come to the same conclusion I have."

Of course, it's 100% possible that I'm just projecting because I'll admit that I've had that same thought myself. It was a thought that, in my opinion, was really demeaning to my friends and family. Because most of them feel differently than I do about the matter. I did have to struggle with, "Do I think I'm smarter than them? More rational? Base my decisions on emotions less? Am I 100% sure that my opinion is right, not only for me, but for everyone?" And of course the answer is "no". I guess that's what I was thinking about when I did this post. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm coming down on you.... I'm bad at correctly conveying my feelings through text... I guess I'm just thinking out loud. Wondering if other people have thought about the same things.

[just_lily]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

I voted No, but it comes with stipulations.

1) do not preach to me how wrong I am for my decisions unless you have done atleast the same amount of research as me. I will not preach to you, EVER.

2) Do not presume that I made my decision flippantly. I DID NOT. I read and read, and watched webinars, and himmed and hawed, and CRIED AND CRIED. This was not a decision I came to lightly or easily, and I revisit the reasons for my decision regularly.

3) As long as you respect my decisions, I will respect yours. We all have a right to our opinions, how we parent and protect our children, and what we decide should be put into our bodies. It is our basic right as human beings to be able to make that choice.

PS, OP, I was wondering about the ASS part. hehe

(And I luuurve your avatar too, btw!)

If a parent actually does any amount of research I think that is great, no matter what decision they come to. I don't think vaccines are a black and white issue, and I would never tell another parent what to do, or judge them for their educated choices.

I am a little disappointed when parents don't do any research at all and just go along with the schedule. But I am disappointed in society as a whole, instead of the individual. So many people just don't know they have a choice here, and I feel sorry for them rather than judging them.

I do lose respect for people who have done absolutely zero research of their own, and then jump down my throat for my decisions. That I can't stand. I am always willing to discuss why we made the choices we did, but don't be judging me if you don't even know what your child has been vaccinated against (i.e. "she got her six-month vaxes").

[Amatullah0]

Originally Posted by just_lily

If a parent actually does any amount of research I think that is great, no matter what decision they come to. I don't think vaccines are a black and white issue, and I would never tell another parent what to do, or judge them for their educated choices.

I am a little disappointed when parents don't do any research at all and just go along with the schedule. But I am disappointed in society as a whole, instead of the individual. So many people just don't know they have a choice here, and I feel sorry for them rather than judging them.

I do lose respect for people who have done absolutely zero research of their own, and then jump down my throat for my decisions. That I can't stand. I am always willing to discuss why we made the choices we did, but don't be judging me if you don't even know what your child has been vaccinated against (i.e. "she got her six-month vaxes").

I agree with you 100%

[annettemarie]

If I expect other people to deal with the informed choices I make as a parent, I have to extend them the same courtesy. So, no. Unless they're spouting off ignorance I don't judge them.

[JamieCatheryn]

It bothers me a little bit when I see other parents harming their children, but I try and shrug it off since it's their choice and it's the choice pushed by school, govt, and doctors it's hard to learn the truth and go against the grain. I voted yes though, because it does hurt my respect of them some. Especially when I see the negative effects on the kids' health. Namecalling isn't necessary though LOL.

[ema-adama]

Originally Posted by heathergirl67

Ema-adama: I totally get what you are saying. To be honest, the last half of your post sounds to me like, "If they read the information that I have read, and are willing to be rational and objective (as opposed to trying to justify what's comfortable), then they'll come to the same conclusion I have."

I am curious as to how you read this in what I wrote.

I have seen it happen that two parents read the same study and both find 'evidence' to support their choice. Obviously both have read the same information - just process it differently. And both make points that are valid. Neither is 'right' or 'wrong'. Just different.

As an aside, do you believe/think that you can make a 100% rational and objective choice on the vaccine issue?

[heathergirl67]

I think I got that impression from this:

Sometimes information can result in a completely different choice, but I think that is rare. IME, very rare.

People do what is most comfortable, and justify it rationally (sometimes). Often there is no rational reason, despite the reasons sounding terribly rational Humans are funny creatures.

Like I said, though, it's probably just my own projection that made me think that. No, I don't think that I can make a 100% rational and objective choice on the vaccine issue. That's what I was trying to say in my last post.

[St. Margaret]

No, I can understand people coming to different conclusions about vax. I mean, most that I know (who do it, and talk about it) tend to do limited and delayed, even if they still do quite a bit. I can totally get someone deciding to get some, even after researching.

(OT: Now, circ, I can't understand how anyone who really reads up can still do that, I can't help judging. I just can't. It's not like I get in their faces about it, but it for sure affects how I feel about them, even more than someone who does it totally blindly, honestly.)

[Arduinna]

vax is one thing where I generally don't care what other people decide. Just don't tell me you are vaxing to protect me.

[bri276]

Not at all. Do I respect people who think for themselves more than people who don't, or who at least put a modicum of effort and thoughtfulness into raising and caring for their children? Yes. But they could reach many different conclusions than I have and still be wonderful parents.

[philomom]

My hubby is a "get a every shot offered" guy. Our compromise is to delay or select certain vaxes for our family. You would not believe how much judgment I get on MDC for this.

For us, a marriage is a true partnership. Sometimes we give a little in an argument and we gain a lot of ground for the next big disagreement. We've been married 23 years now and we are doing well as a couple and as parents.

So no, I do my best not to judge others who deal with vaxes differently than I do.

[kathymuggle]

I don't judge - at all - people who come to different well researched conclusions than I.

I do judge (in some cases) those who blindly follow doctors orders without doing any of their own research.

[MittensKittens]

I do not judge those who make their own decisions, or even those who choose to blindly follow government guidelines or doctor's suggestions. I do, however, judge those who believe freedom of choice should not exist (in regard to most matters, so in this case those who think vaccinations should be compulsory), or those who feel the need to interfere in other peoples' decisions in any way.

[MittensKittens]

And I did wonder about the "ass" too!

[WTHamI?]

It doesn't make me think less of parents when they have researched and made an informed decision, even if that decision is different from mine, but it does bother me when they just blindly follow the norm and announce on Facebook that their poor baby is getting 6 shots today and how much they hate that they get so many at once. I don't lose respect for them necessarily because I know they are just doing what they think is best for their child, but at the same time I wish more people would think for themselves and make informed decisions. Not just about vaccines but about everything where people tend to not think about it at all and blindly follow the crowd. Sheeple annoy me.

I don't preach but I do sometimes try to gently let people know that there are choices and they don't HAVE to do things a certain way. Mostly with people who say things like "I wish she didn't have to get so many at once!" where they seem to truly not realize they don't HAVE to follow the AAP schedule to the letter if they are uncomfortable with it. I've had friends in a panic because they couldn't get their kid to the ped at exactly six months and are worried CPS will take away their kids if they don't get the six month shots until almost seven months. It's sad but some people truly don't know they can make their own decisions.