Apathy

[booyah716]

Hi, this is my first thread here on MDC. I'm sad it's here in this folder!

I have three kids, 3.5 yr old DD, almost 2yr old DS and 2 month old DS. I experienced possibly "baby blues" after my first two kids, starting up at around 6-8 weeks PP. I'm starting to have the same feelings this time. I don't think it's necessarily depression in a traditional sense, it's more of a feeling of apathy. Like, I don't give a crap if the house is a mess or if my older kids are crying. This time is different because my new son sleeps pretty well and is a very good-natured baby, unlike my first two who were very high-needs and completely drained me. I'm not feeling angry toward my new son, but my temper has been very short with my older kids and I've felt totally disconnected with my husband. It doesn't help that my middle child is driving me nuts, but that's another post for another folder!

Has anyone else experienced apathy as a sign of PPD? Or is this something different? I took progesterone supplements after my second birth to try to help, but we use NFP and it affected my cycles a lot (I start to cycle early despite exclusive BFing). I'd like to avoid progesterone if possible.

~Stephanie

[LynnS6]

Yes, apathy is definitely a sign of PPD. Add to that the anger at your older kids and disconnection from your dh (also signs of PPD), it might be good to get things checked out.

At the same time, as the mother of 3 kids under 4, you are going to be one busy woman! Your house is going to not look that great and some things aren't going to get done. Do you have any support network? Someone to come in and help? for a few months at least, you're going to need help, so don't be afraid to ask for it.

[Kikelet]

I agree that apathy is a symptom. It's on the low end of the emotional scale; an emotion that results in inactivity (not caring, not thinking about doing things) versus an emotion like obsession, which results in lots of activity (racing thoughts, compulsive behavior). Does that make sense? I have PPD and there are times where I don't care much about anything besides keeping my baby happy, fed, rested, and loved. DP and I are living with my folks while we look for a house and I had to tell my mom that there was no way I could be expected to keep everything neat and tidy. Most of my energy goes into being with baby and trying my best to not be a hormonal brat, even though I can't really help that sometimes. If the laundry isn't done for a week, I'm fine with it. If not cleaning the bathroom for two weeks means that Evelyn can get full hour-long naps, I can eat semi-nutritious meals, and wash her diapers then GREAT!! This may sound like I don't care that I don't care, but really, I just recognize what I *can* do versus what I would be able to do without having this nasty PPD.

You cannot force yourself to do things that you're not thinking about. I tell DP sometimes that my sanity is more important than clean laundry every 3 days. What little I'm able to do I take pride in because I know it's a baby step towards recovering from PPD. I also take 100 mg Zoloft. I am comfortable with the research studies showing an extremely small amount in breastmilk and I'd rather take that than risk progesterone lowering my milk supply.

Something that's really hard to do when you're already depressed is to try and find a PPD support group. Even if your PPD is more minor, a support group could be just what you need.

Hope some of this helps you in some way.