Sideline parenting

[HappilyEvrAfter]

If you have children that play after school sports/lessons, how much parenting* do you do while they are on the field/floor with their coach/instructor? ...all from the sidelines and aside from the "atta boys" you shout out.

*by parenting I mean behavior correction, lesson redirection, coach/teacher support, etc. KWIM?

My kiddo has had some minor distraction issues during football and I generally let the coach bring him back to focus, but there's another mother with a kid like mine and she's always directing her child to listen to the coach and pay attention.

Should I be more involved to help the coach, let him handle it all (barring some major issue) or is this something I should ask the coach to see how invovled I need to be?

TIA for your thoughts.

[Marsupialmom]

It would have to be REALLY REALLY BAD behavior for me to step in.

Let the coach handle the situation. More people in the pot can cause trouble. That mom telling her to listen to the coach is correcting her child while most likely distracting other kids or making it harder on the coach.

If it there is a behavior issue. Take it up with the coach to work it out.

My oldest dd shows bad sportsmanship this past swim season. I was so disappointed in my child. I brought it up to the coach. The coaches handled it with out embarrassing her and made it a team issue, since she wasn't the only one.

[Geofizz]

Especially when distraction is the problem, having a kid take directions from two authorities makes the problem worse.

As someone who has volunteered to coach soccer (and not continued -- I loved the kids, couldn't deal with the parents), it was infuriating to have parents "help." I worked hard to teach them to take cues from the game itself on where to put themselves and how to direct their attention. It really didn't help to have parents try and correct what their kid was doing. For me, that extended to the kids that were picking flowers or their nose instead of paying attention to the game. It was worse when I was also trying to get their attention, and they had to decide whether or not to listen to the coach or mommy.

[Mirzam]

Ditto to all the pp's. Let the coach handle it.

[maddymama]

I vote let the coach handle it.
The ONLY time I step in is if DD (4 years old) is overwhelmed and going to temper tantrum and is running towards me. I've quietly sat down on the edge of the field with her for a minute (not talking, just a quick hug and a few deep breaths), until she gets back up to go rejoin the group. I don't want to talk, but just to give her a safe space to calm down in.
~maddymama

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Hmmmm, ok. Thanks.

I thought I was being too hands-off, but I'm totally fine with letting the coach keep things under control. I see parents being both ways, so I wasn't really sure.

I'll usually talk to my kid about paying attention while they take a water break, but when they get back on the field I just let him goof off till the coach reigns things back together.

Cool...I'll just proceed as usual!

[mommajb]

Just another agreing to let the coach handle it. She will tell you if she needs extra help with your child otherwise it is very confusing to the child to get too many (perhaps conflicting) directions.

[Earthy Mama]

I agree. However, last season my daughter and another child collided heads in a soccer game. My daughter slammed in to the ground head first. The ref. nor the coaches saw it happen. I most certainly ran out on to the field to pick her up so we could ice her head.

[Peony]

I don't step in during activities, if something really bad was happening then yes I would but other then that I let the coach handle it. I do talk about what happened afterwards with DD1 though and what she could do differently next time.

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by Earthy Mama

I agree. However, last season my daughter and another child collided heads in a soccer game. My daughter slammed in to the ground head first. The ref. nor the coaches saw it happen. I most certainly ran out on to the field to pick her up so we could ice her head.

Totally different. A hurt child should be tended to and comforted by a parent. I've only tended to kids on the field when I got there first, backing off once the parent managed to jog over, often after handing a younger child or handing off a dog leash to another adult.

Maybe when kids are older it would be time to back off on something like this, but when they're still young, bumps and bruises need a mommy.