Back to No School

[annakiss]

All the parents talking about Back to School are annoying me. I know that they're excited and all, but we just don't have anything like that to do around here since we unschool. I'm tired of answering the "are you starting school?" with "no" and then getting blank stares when we say we homeschool. Everyone wants to talk about first days and new teachers and how super fantastically awesome it all is and I just want to remind everyone that actually it sucks and how much more fun it will be when we're at the beach on September 1st.

I guess I just want to be a part of something and all the unschoolers I used to know keep enrolling their children in school. We have a few families we get along with, but no one really close. So my urge is to keep being a stick in the mud about all the school nonsense. I'm feeling rebellious, I suppose.

What can we do for back to no school day? Anyone have any plans?

[mimaja]

Because we UNschool, we don't really bother with anything, and simply carry on with our regular days and rhythms as we do all year round. We have all the rest of the school year to do things when the school kids don't get to do them, and don't feel the need to make a point of it on their first day back to school. My opinion is that it's bad enough for them to be going back to the herd in the first place.

[annakiss]

Are you intending to imply somehow that I don't UNschool? I must have left my unschooling chops back with the herd. Excuse my mood. I'm a second-generation unschooler and I'm just annoyed at that herd and want to tell them all to eff off then go to the beach. At the same time, I am likely annoyed because I want a community to high five my brilliance. I'm sick of every time I mention unschooling or my way of thinking about education (or humanity) in general turning into an argument with some rabid schooler that I know. Sigh.

[mimaja]

I'm having trouble posting replies that are longer so I'll break up my response. (this was part of the reason that my original post was brief).

Sorry if I offended you! That was definitley NOT my intention. I didn't put the caps on to make a point about what you do, only to emphasize that in our family we ignore the school year and don't really take notice of the schooly dates that happen. In fact I have schooling friends who get annoyed with me when I don't realize there's a PA day coming up so I could attempt to include their kids in our activities or set aside time for a playdate with them. So, I can totally relate to your annoyance at the herd mentality that people have. In my case I feel sorry for them (some for how they're so pro-school, others because they may not like the system and just can't find a way out or may be afraid to). Also, I guess I might take more notice in these things if we were following a more traditional homeschooling approach, or using curricula, etc.. but since we're not, that was why I emphasized the "un" part - it just gets pushed out of my mind for the most part.

[mimaja]

One of the things I dislike so much about this time of year are commercials like the one where the parents are dancing through the aisles of the office supply store singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"!! I hate the thought that parents can barely stand the company of their children so much that having them go back to school is like "Christmas in September." And there so many other reasons why that commercial bugs me!

As for great plans on the official first day of school, I've read things like taking the kids to a park that is normally crowded in the summer; to the beach; to a splash pad/water park if there are any still open (our board's first day is Sept 7th, so a bit cool where I am for that kind of thing); McDonald's Play Place; children's museum; leaving to go on a family vacation; Disney World or another family attraction where the line-ups are likely to be a lot smaller on the first day of school than they would be in summer or during Christmas or spring break.

All the best.
Kristine

[jenners26]

I think Back to School season is the last area I need to "deschool." Because I went to public school, late-August has the same sort of renewal/new beginning feeling to me, that the first of the year has. I can't really let go of it for some reason!

I totally know what you mean though. Lately we're being bombarded with "Has school started? Who's your teacher? What grade are you in" questions. I read somewhere the other day that a lot of people don't know how to talk to children, and so they use school as their "go to" topic.

Even friends and family who know 7yo isn't in school are asking, "What are you wanting to learn this year? Have you started homeschooling again yet?" UGH. SHUT UP. He's an amazing, well rounded kid....ask him about something else!! I think really though, the rest of the world is in "Go Mode" right now trying to get school supplies and clothes and back packs and and and...

I wish we had enough unschooling friends around that we could have a "Not back to school" party. But everyone we know who doesn't do public school, does school at home.

[zeldamomma]

We do a fair number of activities that follow the school year, and that fills my need for something "new" this time of year. Generally I don't resent the back to school excitement, it seems like there's at least as much anxiety as excitement, because they have so little control, KWIM?

The only question my kids get is something like "Are you looking forward to going back to school?" and my oldest generally answers something like "Not particularly", the questioner shoots me a look, and the questions stop.

We have a surprising number of friends putting their kids in school this year. It's a bummer, but luckily it's not everyone.

[alegna]

I'm enjoying our not-back-to-school. We can go to museums again without the crowds and parks are all ours again and soon the zoo will be nice again (still too hot here...)

*high fivein'*



-Angela

[CrazyCatLady]

I love it too and don't let all the questions about school annoy me one bit.

We have nothing to buy, no new schedule to get used to, no curriculum to stress over, and the whole freakin town is empty and ours again during the day time.

I get what you mean OP about all the back to school hoopla. It is a lot, almost as crazy as the holidays. And the questions and dumb stares do get old. We just try and enjoy the positives of it I guess.

[annakiss]

Sorry mimaja! Guess I got a little worked up there...

Our local unschoolers did do a not-back-to-school beach day last year, so maybe we can join in this time. It seems that as my kids get older, the hoopla gets worse. More and more of the former homeschoolers (those who didn't drop out at preschool) start putting their kids in school and the arguments about unschooling just come to mind. I really am serious about getting into arguments about it though. I mean, I suppose they aren't rabid schoolers - that's probably an exaggeration - but it's like my choice offends their sensibilities and is a direct affront to their choice. But honestly, unschooling has invaded every inch of my thoughts about what people need and who they are fundamentally, so school is just like this big giant "what-the-hell-are-you-thinking-for-doing-THAT?!?" to me.

I got all pissed off about the day camp my kids attended for 3 days because there were worksheet-y activities which I thought were really about crowd control and didn't add to the experience at all. So school is just...well, it's just stupid to me. I can appreciate having no other choice. I can appreciate that people really do fundamentally think differently than I do. But it still doesn't quite make any logical sense to me as to why one would actively choose it.

I think most importantly, I've encountered more parents in my day-to-day life recently, particularly suburban parents. We're of a certain ilk around these parts. And we are the kids-grow-up-to-be-doctors-and-lawyers sort of neighborhood. It's a little disgusting. And I've had to explain my choices to people and they, again, just stare at me blankly. They break out all the things they think kids need to know like listening to an adult other than their parent tell them what to do or teach them how to behave or force them to read or whathaveyou. Of course, my thoughts, particularly on the behavioral issues are along the lines of, "so what? my kids can learn to like cubicles when they're adults?" Which of course never gets me anywhere.

I'm just frustrated. It's just all reached a frenzy. The paper is having a contest on first day of school photos. I was thinking of entering some. It might be hilarious.

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by jenners26

I think Back to School season is the last area I need to "deschool." Because I went to public school, late-August has the same sort of renewal/new beginning feeling to me, that the first of the year has. I can't really let go of it for some reason!

Fall does have that sense to me too, but I'm not sure that it's exclusively about school. I've learned, at least, to transfer it. Summer is super busy for us because we can be out all the time, so the fall is a time of renewal. It's the harvest season and the changes are so beautiful and smell really good. It's a time to slow down with the in-and-out-of-town-ness and start hiking again and getting ready for the holidays. We start thinking about Halloween then Thanksgiving and Christmas. We come indoors for more crafting and more at-home activities. It is a change, though not the same one as going to school, and September 1st doesn't signify it.

The museums and the beaches are more accessible again and the new schedules for activities at libraries and museums and rec centers all come out. I start knitting for Christmas and we do more indoor activities. We bake and cook more again. We phase out our CSA (though right now we still have 9 weeks left!).

I like to think of us as following a more agricultural tradition. It's nice.

[zebra15]

School started here 3 weeks ago.... its 115 degrees and humid, the middle of the monsoon season.... Dont ask me why or how they plan these things (oh ya its to be done mid May). Anyway I've had subbing jobs already. But DS is unschooled again and we've had some great trips to the kids museum. That place was jammed packed all summer now its barren and he had a blast. The library is serene for DS as well. He is almost 10 and enjoys his quiet time. And most importantly the LEGO store is empty during the day What more could you ask for??

I do stock up on pencils, erasers, markers, notebooks etc on the sales but only to stock up, not to actually use THIS WEEK LOL.

DS is on break since he went to math camp this summer and that counted as school for him. I may prolong his CTY program extra weeks too, he seems to have finally found the american history bug!

I wanted to squeeze in a trip to colorado before I went to full subbing but they seem to need subs quite a bit earlier this year so... we may just go and I will miss 'work'. Not what I want to do but... We need to get out of here for a week

We love unschooling and I really dont want to change it for anything... DS leads and I follow as best I can. (I may need new sneakers for this year tho')

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by annakiss

I'm just frustrated. It's just all reached a frenzy. The paper is having a contest on first day of school photos. I was thinking of entering some. It might be hilarious.

Do it!

This is not my favourite time of year. Everyone is so excited, rev upped or dreading school - ugh. School talk is everywhere - and even when it isn't - people are carefully avoiding it.

I agree with the poster upthread on the Staples commercial - I find it offensive, really.

I am having my own angst because my middle child has said she wants to try middle school - which, quite frankly, is a bit of a nightmare to me.

I will be happier once the whole season is over.

Kathy

[zeldamomma]

Originally Posted by annakiss

I think most importantly, I've encountered more parents in my day-to-day life recently, particularly suburban parents. We're of a certain ilk around these parts. And we are the kids-grow-up-to-be-doctors-and-lawyers sort of neighborhood. It's a little disgusting. And I've had to explain my choices to people and they, again, just stare at me blankly. They break out all the things they think kids need to know like listening to an adult other than their parent tell them what to do or teach them how to behave or force them to read or whathaveyou. Of course, my thoughts, particularly on the behavioral issues are along the lines of, "so what? my kids can learn to like cubicles when they're adults?" Which of course never gets me anywhere.

We live in that kind of neighborhood too. We don't hang out with the neighbors much, but I haven't found that anyone is all that interested in what we mean by "homeschooling" or why we do it. I don't enjoy discussing unschooling with people who aren't likely to get it, so I sidestep those conversations. I have found that I am a better mom if I minimize antagonistic interactions with strangers/acquaintances.

I think submitting some photos to the newspaper contest would be awesome, though!

[Serendipity]

I have come to abhor the questions this time of year, it just gets so tedious to answer. My son feels annoyed by it too and thinks it's pathetic that adults have nothing else to talk to kids about.

I try really hard to stay in the 'it works for us, and what works for you is fine' category. I do think school pretty much sucks but the bottom line is, I don't want to be judged for our choices so I try not to judge them for theirs.
I have friends and families with kids in school and even though I don't think it's ideal, I totally respect their place and expect the same from them. I would be pretty pissed if people started saying how annoying I was for being so excited about unschooling.

I feel the same buzzy excitement about fall starting in general, but I use that to come up with a new list of fun fall activities and make new goals etc.

We celebrated Not Back to School by picking out some new dvd's, books and games at the used bookstore and making a cake and lounging around together.

I would imagine living in a conservative area and not having an unschooling community would be really hard. I bet that would leave me feeling pretty bitter about the whole thing. I'm sorry!

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by Serendipity

I have come to abhor the questions this time of year, it just gets so tedious to answer. My son feels annoyed by it too and thinks it's pathetic that adults have nothing else to talk to kids about.

I try really hard to stay in the 'it works for us, and what works for you is fine' category. I do think school pretty much sucks but the bottom line is, I don't want to be judged for our choices so I try not to judge them for theirs.
I have friends and families with kids in school and even though I don't think it's ideal, I totally respect their place and expect the same from them. I would be pretty pissed if people started saying how annoying I was for being so excited about unschooling.

I feel the same buzzy excitement about fall starting in general, but I use that to come up with a new list of fun fall activities and make new goals etc.

We celebrated Not Back to School by picking out some new dvd's, books and games at the used bookstore and making a cake and lounging around together.

I would imagine living in a conservative area and not having an unschooling community would be really hard. I bet that would leave me feeling pretty bitter about the whole thing. I'm sorry!

I'm not judging people openly. I'm just venting here. I want to say it sucks. I'm not doing that and intellectually, as I stated, I understand everyone's reasons for choosing other options. My emotional urge with this clusterf**k is to tell everyone to shove it. Not what I'm actually doing. Just what I feel.

I don't live in a conservative area. I live in a pretty progressive, professional area full of doctors, lawyers, and professors, etc. Also school teachers and engineers. It's fairly urban and my immediate area is actually mostly graduate students. It's exactly the sort of place where you say you homeschool then they ask how precisely or give some example and I, having a miniature golf face and incapable of lying, admit to unschooling in some form or another. And it's funny how everyone can clamor for our very exclusive and expensive Montessori schools here and completely be revolted by unschooling.

We also have some really good unschooling community. We used to have more, however, and what's left is pretty spread out. We also get out of the habit during the summer when we're busy with other things and more immediate neighbors.

I don't mean to be overly dramatic or condemning. I'm really just mildly annoyed. The increased fervor this week as most of the moms on my local list started sending their kids back made me need the release.

[alegna]

I find I get most grumpy about it when the waves of former homeschoolers (and unschoolers) head to school. It's like -hey, you KNOW what you're going to be missing!-

I hear ya.

-Angela

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by mimaja

One of the things I dislike so much about this time of year are commercials like the one where the parents are dancing through the aisles of the office supply store singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"!! I hate the thought that parents can barely stand the company of their children so much that having them go back to school is like "Christmas in September." And there so many other reasons why that commercial bugs me

Exactly to your bolded! I am so sick of reading "countdowns to freedom" on facebook, etc. Or people saying - how am I going to make it through the summer, etc.. I want to say = I LIKE spending time with my kids. And if your kids are so yucky to be around, maybe it's because they need more tiem at home (and less peer influence, etc...).

[Thystle]

A hs group I am part of (filled with every type of hs and us'ler out there) holds a yearly "Not Back to School" potluck party at a park and gets a big cake for it. Usually in August and in the evening so it wont be as hot out


Any chance you could do something like that?


Or just actually tell everyone that you will be at the beach.

[mimaja]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Exactly to your bolded! I am so sick of reading "countdowns to freedom" on facebook, etc. Or people saying - how am I going to make it through the summer, etc.. I want to say = I LIKE spending time with my kids. And if your kids are so yucky to be around, maybe it's because they need more tiem at home (and less peer influence, etc...).

I LIKE spending time with my kids. And if your kids are so yucky to be around, maybe it's because they need more tiem at home (and less peer influence, etc...).


YES!! YES!! YES!!

(Sorry if this doesn't turn out right, I'm not very good at the quotation thing yet.)