I spent some time in Africa before having my first born who is not 19mo. I have a second baby who is 3mo now. We all co-sleep. I learned a lot about parenting in Africa and went with that and my intuition with my first baby. Soon I found out there was terms for the things I was doing like co-sleeping and baby-wearing and so on. I have had plenty of people tell me I'm doing the right thing and plenty of people telling me I'm doing the wrong thing. We've had our ups and downs to support both arguments. Right now I'm sleeping in the bed with the two babes and a pillow fortress and my husband is sleeping on the couch weekdays. Everyone seems fine with it, because we know we're doing something great for our kids that we'll find out in the long run. Like my midwife said, "you're doing all the hard work a professional painter does before he paints a house, and when it's all done you'll be glad because it will be a better job than if it were rushed." [Paraphrased] And I know plenty of moms who are on the other side of this and their kids are grown and independent and everyone is happy about how it worked out. So that should be enough. But then I have nights like tonight, where it took an hour and a half to get my toddler to sleep while I'm trying to nurse my infant to sleep but she's too overstimulated from the toddler's cries. Sometimes I think it's teething, sometimes I think it's this or that and I always end up feeling glad I didn't make them cry it out alone and look forward to snuggling up with them after I spend time with my husband.
Trouble is... my friends who did the CIO method get their toddlers to go to bed by putting them in the crib and cutting the lights off and that's it! And they don't see them until the next morning. So I wonder if their earlier crying phase is comparable to my current one and which is worse? I couldn't bear to leave my babies to CIO, although at times they have to because I'm busy with one or the other but still present and within reach. I worry I'm making things worse for them by encouraging sleep problems. I've tried NCSS and there isn't much change. My toddler is a lark and the infant started off sleeping well but is starting to wake more frequently and STAYS latched on during the night. She's at the age where everyone is asking "So, is she sleeping through the night yet?" What?! I JUST got my toddler to do that! I usually say, "Well we co-sleep so we both sleep through the night." Which is partially true. But do kids really grow up with psychological problems because of how they were put to sleep as babies? And why am I struggling so? What is going on? Any ideas? Any suggestions? Encouragement? Should I move my babies into another bed? Honestly. Is that best for them? I'm trying to put my toddler in a pack n play when I come to bed and he may spend anywhere from a few hours to 5 minutes in there and once I move him back I fall asleep before he does so I don't move him back in there. But even if I did, then what? He still needs me to fall asleep! Will he ever grow out of that? (Realistically I know the answer to that last question, but what if I get pregnant again?! We can't have three babies in the bed!) *sigh* I just want to do what is best for the babies and retain some of my sanity in the process.
P.S. Naptimes are a breeze compared to bedtime.
Trouble is... my friends who did the CIO method get their toddlers to go to bed by putting them in the crib and cutting the lights off and that's it! And they don't see them until the next morning. So I wonder if their earlier crying phase is comparable to my current one and which is worse? I couldn't bear to leave my babies to CIO, although at times they have to because I'm busy with one or the other but still present and within reach. I worry I'm making things worse for them by encouraging sleep problems. I've tried NCSS and there isn't much change. My toddler is a lark and the infant started off sleeping well but is starting to wake more frequently and STAYS latched on during the night. She's at the age where everyone is asking "So, is she sleeping through the night yet?" What?! I JUST got my toddler to do that! I usually say, "Well we co-sleep so we both sleep through the night." Which is partially true. But do kids really grow up with psychological problems because of how they were put to sleep as babies? And why am I struggling so? What is going on? Any ideas? Any suggestions? Encouragement? Should I move my babies into another bed? Honestly. Is that best for them? I'm trying to put my toddler in a pack n play when I come to bed and he may spend anywhere from a few hours to 5 minutes in there and once I move him back I fall asleep before he does so I don't move him back in there. But even if I did, then what? He still needs me to fall asleep! Will he ever grow out of that? (Realistically I know the answer to that last question, but what if I get pregnant again?! We can't have three babies in the bed!) *sigh* I just want to do what is best for the babies and retain some of my sanity in the process.
P.S. Naptimes are a breeze compared to bedtime.
