please tell me how to handle this

[JamieB]

I have no idea how to deal with my toddler when he hurts his brother. I realize that it is perfectly normal behavior and that's why I need to know what to do when he does it. I am losing my temper over it and obviously that's not helping.

It's funny too because DS seems to really love his brother and be very protective him. But then he'll kick him or jump on him. I don't get it.

We make sure DS1 gets a lot of one on one time. He really does. DS2 is a super star napper so DS1 and I hang out alone quite a bit, plus daddy takes him to do things a lot.

Help please! I hate hate hate using time outs and they don't seem to be working anyway.

[alegna]

How old is he? Really toddlers just aren't safe around babies. With two young ones it's just the adult's job to keep the baby safe- and often that means not putting the baby where the toddler can reach them unless the adult can be right-there.

-Angela

[keeptryst]

Here is some great advice by Naomi Aldort:

http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/f...he-baby/7887/1

and

http://mothering.com/older-brother-having-problems

[Violet2]

We did a lot of 'hands are for loving, hugging and helping. Can you show me a better way to use your hands?'

But in your situation, you also need to help him identify his emotions and process them so he doesn't hit. Most young toddlers hit b/c they can't figure out how to express themselves.

Also show him what to do, don't focus on 'no, don't do that'. And for boys, ime, be sure he's running around and releasing his pent up energy.

And many also go through an aggressive phase (ime) in the mid to late 20s (months). Which is developmental. DD was a punching bag for a few boys around that age, we just avoided them until they grew out of it. Not that you can do that, but sometimes the phase is bigger than the parent, kwim?

HTH
V

[The4OfUs]

Sorry you were offended, but Angela is right IMO. I never left DD and DS alone when she was an infant, and was always within arms reach of one of them so if he did decide to do somehting I'd remove either him or her or get between them. Yeah, it sucked for a while to always have one kid around me, but you do what you have to do to keep people safe. : I wore DD a LOT, and when she was down while we were together during the day, she was either right next to me, or he was. If I left to go to the bathroom, one of them came with me. This was until DD was more sturdy and started gettign mobile, say around 6 months or so. You may not be able to stop the initial contact, but you can prevent the repeat in the individual situations. As far as what to do when it happens, I'd do the same as what I did when DS or DD hit me, or when DD started biting her big brother - in a low, serious voice say that hurts the person, that it's not OK and that you won't let them keep doing it. And give them an option of what to do instead (honoring the impulse, but giving it an appropriate outlet). Then drop it. If they kept at it, then I'd separate them with my body in between.

Also, in calm times when you have one on one, I'd talk with him about the feeling he has about having a sibling, and validate that sometimes it's hard and it's OK to not like him sometimes because he takes a lot of time and energy, and it's OK to have negative feelings towards him.