Preschool or not?

[JeanetteL]

Hi everyone,
I'm starting to consider whether or not to send my dd to preschool next year, she will turn three in September.

Part of me thinks I should just keep her home, and that she'll have plenty of school later on, but the other part of me thinks she would benefit greatly (mostly in terms of social development and independence) from having an activity seperate from me. She's a pretty spirited kid, but also can be very hesitant and shy in groups. She loves the semi-structured things we have done together at different times over the past year and a half (story-time at the library, music class, gymboree).

I am NOT looking for a academically pushy preschool - she has plenty of time to learn what she needs to know, I'm not interested in pushing her beyond her abilities - so I'd want to avoid that sort of program. I love what I know about Waldorf and am intrigued by Montesorri - but I'm more concerned with overall the environment than what label they give it.

I'd be intersted in hearing from you all on your thoughts about preschool for a three year old, vs another year or two at home. Would a two or three (or more) day program be best?

If there are any Phoenix natives on this board - I'd love some recommendations.

Thanks
Jeanette

[dawningmama]

Personally, I'm a preschool lover, but mainly because all three of my children adore it. I sent my oldest at age 3 to a co-operative school, which was wonderful. He went a couple of mornings a week and had a really positive experience. I got to co-teach every 9th class so I was very familiar with the routine and areas. I was less sure about my second's child first year of preschool (she began at age 2.5). She did ask to go and was excited but she is a quiet and very shy child so I half expected that we would end up dropping out. She did end up really taking to it---she is in her second year at the YMCA program. It's an integrated class (half of the children are part of the learning disabled program, so there are 3 extra special ed teachers in there---all teachers interact with all the children). She does still have days where she just doesn't want to go and I don't push it. My youngest will start next year in the same program and she is really chomping at the bit to go. I will remain prepared, though, for her not to like it and the possibility that we will put it off a year.

I think the decision about preschool does need to be child-lead. I would suggest trying a short class without you to see how that goes. Our Y has these 45 minutes art "classes" (playtimes, really) for ages 2 and up. Emma did a class like this the summer before starting preschool and it was a good introduction to being "on her own".

In our school district, preschool is not an academic necessity. Many of the children enter kindergarten with no "formal" schooling under their belts. Many don't know their basic letters and numbers but they all seem to be on an even level by the end of the year. Things may be different elsewhere, but, obviously, any academic basics can easily be taught at home.

[witch's mom]

I think dawningmama is right that the decision needs to be child led. We made an adult-led decision to send our older DD to preschool when she was 3 because we needed some daycare. Also, I had this idea that it would help her be better able to be independent from us and better able to join other groups of children. The first few months were awful. She cried every time I left her, she clung when she was with me, the experience did little to help her get comfortable with other groups of children. The second year she attended, she enjoyed it much more--she knew the kids by then and she was used to the routine. But when she started kindergarten--which involved switching schools--she cried every morning for the first month. Preschool didn't help her much with kindergarten readiness in that regard. Sure, she knew her letters and numbers and all the academic basics, and she knew how to sit in a circle and follow directions, but I believe she could've learned that stuff even without preschool (at home, at library storytime). She's fine now, a confident second grader who's thrilled to go to school and learn new things and see her friends, but she still says she "feels all tight inside" when she is in a situation where she's going to meet new people. It's just her nature, and I wish I'd given her more time to mature before we forced her into a situation that probably made her feel all tight inside. She switched schools again when she started first grade last year and, at nearly 6 years old, she handled the new situation very well. She just needed to grow up a little bit before being asked to cope with a crowd.

[mamatoady]

My personal feelings are if you don't want to push her academically, you may not like Montessori, because academics appear to be priority. Waldorf may definitely be more to your liking with more imaginative play and creativity.

On the other hand, if you only send her to Montessori for say the morning and in that morning is when they have 2 hours of independent learning, then her academic learning would be self-motivated and not pushed...

Maybe you could take her for a day and then ask her how she'd feel about going there by herself for a few times a week. Maybe she'd LOVE it!

[lauren]

I think preschool is pretty cool, if it's a great program. If you're leaving your child there "because" and not because you love it, you might not feel satisfied. A great program will excite you and your child!

[thundersweet]

We sent my dd to preschool when she was just a little over 2 years. She absolutely adored it from the time we walked in the school. This preschool came highly recommended. I didnt actually want to send her until she was 3 but I had her on a waiting list and they called a couple of weeks before the program started and said they had 1 spot in the 2 year program. I had heard it was very difficult to get them in after the 2 year program because all the students returned and siblings get first priority. Anyway its a wonderful church preschool that is naeyc certified www.naeyc.org and my dd just loves it and is doing very well. I would have taken her out in a heartbeat if she wasnt ready though.

[Lovelymama]

My only comment is that after checking out your local preschools and picking which one you like for your child make sure you can withdraw your application if you feel your child is not ready closer to the first day. That way you have a place to send her if you realize she would definitely benefit but are not locked into your decision. Children change so much in six months. My dd started preschool last fall and she LOVES IT. I thought she probably would as she is very social and confident but its a hard call when you have to apply in early Spring for a place in the Fall. The director was the one who emphasized to me that I could always withdraw her application without a penalty. Then you have a safety net and can wait on your child. Any good preschool is going to be pro supporting your child and at the same time if your area is anything like mine preschool spots can be hard to find if you wait too long.

I decided to apply for preschool when I was pregnant with my second dd as I wanted to be sure that my firstborn would be getting plenty of stimulation while I was caring for an infant. And although I still spend lots of time with my eldest dd preschool gives her (and me) a guarenteed place to go to have fun and learn no matter what. It was also a godsend this year as our bebe was diagnosed with a serious disease (in remission) and we spent a lot of time at the hospital. My eldest dd found a great deal of comfort in her regular routine of preschool and her teachers and friends (and her peg to hang her coat and her basket for all her art work). Preschoolers LOVE routine so to me preschool widens their world in a safe and predictable way.

[napless]

I too think that it should be an individual decision based on your child's personality and needs. Just don't get caught up in the hype/competitiveness and think that your child "needs" preschool so she'll be ready for school later. If she'd like it, and you want to send her, then great - but recognize that she is getting all that she "needs" already, just by hanging out with you and doing the things that you are doing.

I've come up against this decision a couple of times already. So far (ds just turned 4) we haven't sent him to preschool. His days are full, and he is learning lots and being exposed to lots - we too do library, gym, etc. and he has several good friends whom we see regularly. I'm not sure if we'll send him to preschool in the fall or not.