Questions to ask doula

[beckington]

Hi all

I'm starting to interview doulas and wondering what questions I should be asking? Didn't have a doula with my first so this is all new territory for me! Would love some tips from moms who have done this before! Thanks!

[taffywelsh]

Hi,
I haven't really done this before, since this is my first baby, but I do have a doula lined up. Basically, my partner and I wanted to find out what her attitude toward pain medications etc was, since we seriously hope to avoid but realize our ideal birth may not be possible. She was also flexible on that point, so that was good. The word "pain" is one she uses...she doesn't refer to it as "sensation" etc the way a more New-Agey type would--I like this acknowledgement of pain. She had a lot of good suggestions about labor positions, and she was super attentive to the needs and concerns of my partner, not just me. This is important, since she is support for him as well. She said to call her any time with non-medical pregnancy questions, and she does seem to really know what she's talking about.
One thing that was sort of important to me in particular, although it might be different for you, is that she has her own child. She has been through the birthing process and has had her own experience with it to draw on. I was super surprised at the large number of professional labor doulas with no children! I just wouldn't feel as comfortable with somebody who wasn't already a mom. In fact, my back-up doula has no kids and for that reason I feel conflicted about her. I'm sure a childless woman can be great--after all, not every brain surgeon has had a lobotomy, for example--but for me, that was important.
But anyway the most important thing was that we both liked our doula a lot and thought her personality was great, she is athletic and able, and we just got along with her. That is really crucial, since all she really does is hang out with you during some of the most important hours of your life!

[MaerynPearl]

Make sure to be sure you are on the same page on what a doula is (while the basic gist is the same... it can change a bit from woman to woman what exactly she expects to do, or what you expect her to do) and how available she is to you during prenatal, birth and postpartum time

[MegBoz]

I guess I asked about her own birth experiences, training, experience as a doula, her back-up, when she'd come to my house. She was a Bradley teacher & DH & I had taken Bradley, so that made me confident of her knowledge.

But to be honest, I was still terrified of birthing in a hospital & I wanted her as a "body guard." I know that's not supposed to be a primary role of a doula - they can't really speak for you to medical staff, but I wanted someone to speak up NOW if I was about to get an episiotomy with no warning - let alone consent!

& she was that person! She projected assertiveness, I was confident she'd "have my back" if there was conflict with medical staff.

Sorry, that's not a lot of specific Qs, but I think a good personality fit is most important. I'd maybe specifically ask about her view of epidurals & ask her to share a birth story where a client got one. While most women hiring doula's probably want to avoid the epi, I also think you probably don't want your doula feeling like she failed you if you get the epi (because then that means she views the epi itself as a "failure" & that might make you feel worse.)

So i'd want to be sure she doesn't overly demonize epi or other interventions. I'd also want her to be experienced & knowledgable enough where she could help coach me on using interventions if the situation arose where that would be the best course of action. Again, not having blinders on & focusing only on avoiding intervention.

[mistymama]

I think it's important to find someone you are comfortable with, and who's beliefs are in line with yours.

I also happened to find a doula that is hypnobabies certified since I'm doing the homestudy and planning to use it for the birth. She knows the scripts and will come do a birth rehersal with her, dh and I in a few weeks.

More than anything I really liked the fact that she had a c-section and really has a passion for helping VBAC Moms .. she also happens to use my OB (he's very natural birth friendly) and has attended several births at the hopsital I'm delivering at .. so she made me feel good about the staff, how they react to natural birthers, etc.

Pretty much I would chat with a few doulas and find one you really feel comfortable with and one that will support YOUR birth plan, not have an agenda of her own.

[rightkindofme]

After my experiences this week I would ask what is her response to being called multiple times if prodromal labor gets really intense but doesn't turn into active labor. I've been having contractions for a week. Stop what you are doing to breathe through them, every two minutes contractions for hours on end before things mellow out again. My midwife was really snotty the last time I saw her and I'm thinking about just firing her. I did not pay someone $1000 to be a jerk because my body isn't working the way anyone wants it to.

[Laurski]

Lots of good advice from PPs; I just wanted to add that DONA has a list of questions that might help you get started on formulating your own: http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php

I also found it useful to ask the doula why she decided to become one; if she at all seems to have become a doula in order to overcome her own conflicted feelings about her birth experience, you might want to reconsider her. My understanding is that such doulas may sometimes try to "take over" the experience (at least this is what I've heard from other folks...).

That being said, best of luck in your search! I was unsure about hiring a doula at first, but DH and I found an awesome pair and are so excited to have them working with us.

[the janet]

Originally Posted by taffywelsh

One thing that was sort of important to me in particular, although it might be different for you, is that she has her own child. She has been through the birthing process and has had her own experience with it to draw on. I was super surprised at the large number of professional labor doulas with no children! I just wouldn't feel as comfortable with somebody who wasn't already a mom. In fact, my back-up doula has no kids and for that reason I feel conflicted about her. I'm sure a childless woman can be great--after all, not every brain surgeon has had a lobotomy, for example--but for me, that was important.

I think there are a lot of doulas without children simply because the lifestyle isn't supercompatible for women who do have children, especially little ones. You could be away from home for up to 48 hours at a time, and finding last-minute childcare at 2am isn't that easy.

I am certifying to be a doula and have attended 3 births so far...but I will not have experienced giving birth until December. I know that the fact that I haven't gone through the process myself is a determining factor for some women, and it is one reason why I think it's important for me to have a baby asap before I go much further with my career.

However, "has she or hasn't she?" is a double-edged sword. A woman who hasn't given birth may not have the personal experience to draw from...but she can also remain as unbiased as possible, which is a really important quality in a doula. A woman who has given birth can offer advice based on personal experience and could potentially be more empathetic to what you're going through...but she could also be biased about certain procedures based on her own experience. And it's really important to keep in mind that if she had a negative experience herself, she has healed from the trauma and doesn't project anything onto you.