Deciding a career as a Single Mom

[Phoenix~Mama]

So for the past few years I've really been trying to figure out "what I want to be when I grow up."

A re-occuring career thought has come up the most since childhood, and that would be a teacher.

But I know teachers do not make money at all... in fact it'd be less than what I am making at my current job.

So the money worries are always there...

When you are a single Mom, do you give up on dreams and just do what you can to support your family? Or go for the dream and have faith that somehow it will all work out?

[doubledutch]

if you would be willing/able to move to a lower col area, then it's probably reasonable. that's what you have to figure out - what would it require, and are you willing to do that?

how would spending a couple of years as a student change things for your family? depending on what's available in terns of grants, housing, and other assistance, you may be better off than you are now.

how much longer until your car payment is gone?

[Everrgreen]

For me I am hoping to find a balance between something practical as a mom and something I would find interesting. For the last 5 years or so I have been trying to figure out a way of going into midwifery, but with my stbx's career it just was never possible. I thought about doing it now that I don't have to worry about stbx's career but the thought of being on call and working so many evenings and weekends just made it not so desireable (plus it would be 5 years before I would even be earning money, so not really possible!)

I also thought about teaching, which here in Canada is a really good paying job with benefits etc. It really is one of the best jobs to do as a mom imo. But, I just can't see myself doing it. I don't have a passion for it. And it's very competitive to get into and to find a job, so not worth it for me.

I did a bunch of researching around about job prospects in my province and stumbled across a program I could complete in 2 years that would prepare me for a really well paying M-F 9-5 job. I think it will be very interesting, it fits my current education background, and I'm really excited about it. It isn't something I ever planned on doing but I think it will be a good fit for me

So I guess that doesn't really answer your question! I don't really know what teachers make in the US. I wouldn't want to be constantly struggling to make ends meet, that would make me stressed and miserable. But I do see the value in having a job that means something to you.

[PoppyMama]

Are you sure it would be less than you're making now? I live in TX and teacher seem to start at about 36M. Not an enormous income but more than I recall you had stated for yours.

[AugustLia23]

I'm gonna vote for following your dreams. I want my kids to grow up seeing that their mamma worked hard to reach her goals. A soul sucking just would only teach my kids to settle.

As long as you can make the ends meet, and hopefully sock a little away for savings, you should be on the right path by doing what you love.

[Rosehip]

Around here teachers make comfortable livings, and remember that they have a LOT of opportunities to supplement it. Summer camp/school, tutoring, coaching, etc. The hours & schedule of many other careers do not allow for that sort of thing. And once you have school age children, childcare can be largely eliminated which is a huge expense.

ETA: I seriously considered a career in teaching a few years ago. When I broke it down by hours worked, teachers are paid a lot more than many corporate jobs - certainly a lot more than I was paid. A lot of higher paying jobs demand longer hours and/or long days or weekend work that can be unpredictable, and of course the vacation, sick & personal days don't compare. While I had the sick & personal days, actually using all of them (without being very seriously ill) is frowned upon in many corporate jobs, and they're not for use with a sick kid, etc.

[HappyMommy2]

A teaching job means you don't have to spend money for childcare or day camp all summer and school vacations. So that helps even out the teaching vs. corporate salary differential.

[Ceinwen]

It doesn't help in the child care arena - but I work as an RN. So, 12 hour shifts (for me) means more days off at home. I work seven shifts in a two week period (nights and days) and am off the other seven days.

The pay and benefits are killer.

[Holland73]

I'm an elementary school teacher.

I make a good living and am able to provide VERY well for me and my son as a solo mama in very high COL area (Bay Area, CA). And that is teaching in the lowest paid district in the entire bay area. I also have excellent benefits!

Teaching has been a blessing, in regards to compatibility, financial independence, flexibility and understanding with my role as a solo mama.

It has also been a curse, in regards to the difficulty, exhaustion and political bs of the job. Honestly, I am currently back in grad school working on my way OUT of the profession.

It is often a "teacher myth" that you have ALL summer off and don't have to worry about childcare. At least 2-4 weeks of the summer months are spent in training, doing prep work, planning and meetings. But, in the grand scheme of things... that still isn't too bad.

Unfortunately, childcare expenses (even when they are school age) are still a necessity for me. I have staff meetings, conferences and various other job responsibilities after I dismiss my students AND my son's school gets out earlier than my school. Granted, I had this problem, in regards to after school responsibilities, even when he was attending my own school.

But, paying $2200 a year for afterschool care isn't nearly as expensive as the $1200 a month for preschool/daycare. But, it is still an expense.

[Latte Mama]

I'm also an RN who works in a job that happens to work out great for childcare. I gave up 12 hr shifts, mandatory OT and hospital work after 7 years and do home care now (visiting nurse). I work Mon-Fri with really flexible hours. Technically 9-5 but I'm always off by 3 and I can finish my charting at home.

During the day when I needed to pump I could or in the future if I need to do something school related it will be no issue. I have a great job for raising kids and I'm never leaving it.
Oh and I do live in a high COL area but I'm almost at 6 figures. A new nurse, of course, would start out making less, probably in the 60's. I don't even know what new nurses are starting at these days.
But you can also teach as a nurse.
And it only takes an associate's degree. But you should do something you're interested in at least. Do you need a master's for being a teacher?

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by Latte Mama

Do you need a master's for being a teacher?

Depends on the state.

Check out this page, which has the 50 States' Certification Requirements: http://education.uky.edu/AcadServ/co...n-requirements

[meemee]

plus if you work in certain low income schools a huge amount of your school loans are paid.

PM i am at the complete opposite end of you philosophically.

no money. no savings. no retirement. NOTHING. and it doesnt bother me.

i am going after my dreams. at the end of my student life i could either be really well off, or not well off at all. if i get a job with the UN i'd make a pretty good salary. If i work for a non profit doing activism stuff or even research - i will probably make what i could have made now without any degrees.

my dd is 8. i live on v. v. v. barebone budget. if i had money she could be in quite a few classes which i cannot afford to do. however she goes with me to all the stuff i am involved in now. doesnt have to but she chooses to. and i am sooo proud of the person she is becoming because i am following my dream.

so no she wont have $$$ for college. she wont have any help with a wedding. she wont have a house or any tangible things after i die.

instead i am making the investment NOW. i am encouraging every bit of her that wants to shine. and making her be aware of the not so well known stuff around her.

tomorrow she is going to be an outstanding adult. maybe not rich. maybe not educated. but she will be someone. i cant imagine a 5 year old who turns off the tap while brushing teeth, the shower while putting soap on herself - all on her own without me saying anything - i think she is going to be someone.

the thing about teachers though is not the money. the thing is to find out for yourself if you will like every part of it. i have a lot of teachers in my class who are going in for a career change because they are tired of the politics in schools. YOU have to find out if your love for the kids will carry you through the whiny parents, the political administration, the district rules. this is a decision only you can make. i know many teachers who wouldnt do anything different. i know many teachers who are new and regret their decision. they want to leave teaching.

none of the practise teaching or the classes prepare you for all of that.

plus you will find your needs change as your child grows older. what i was looking for a career when dd was 18 months old are completely different than what i was looking at when she started k.

[beebalmmama]

My dh is a teacher and he wouldn't trade it for anything. He came to his career choice late but chose it because he felt a strong passion for teaching.
Financially though it has not been easy. We've been in a couple of different districts/states while living on his income alone. One area we moved to because of the low COL, which it subsequently went up dramatically once we had moved there. We just couldn't swing it even with the fairly good benefits, but low pay.
The current area we are in now has a bit higher wage but the benefits are pretty awful for family (we recently switched to private insurance), but dh's benefits are covered 100%.
We've had to deal with childcare, because dh has worked EVERY summer since he began teaching, now over 5 years. He usually goes back to his old "career" of waiting tables and he's also done a couple of summers of summer school.
I think the hours you put in outside of contracted hours will depend on what kind of teacher you want to be. Dh puts in a lot of extra time preparing students work, setting up the classroom, talking to parents (eve phone calls at home), P/T conferences etc. I know a lot of teachers would tell you that they would not be a successful teacher if they didn't put in all the extra time.

[provocativa]

at this point, all i want is 2 shifts bartending. i could care less about a career-without-quotation-marks. i'm not sure why we have to be defined or fulfilled by the work that we do for money- i believe that there is dignity in all labor.

of course, that's not what you asked. go for your dreams, if that will fulfill you. for most of america, the whole idea of financial stability has been exposed as a lie. enron, the housing bubble, tanking retirement accounts and mass unemployment- a lot of those people were living the 'financially stable' life before- owning a house and two cars and cc debt- financially secure because good credit makes you secure, or a good job, or a good house that no landlord can kick you out of. but we now know they were stable as a house of cards.

but real stabilty, that's what meemee is talking about. security and stability in one's sense of self, not reliant on exteriors for that. okay, it's past my bedtime and i'm not making sense but. . . we are all told that we need to support our families in a certain way, or else we are inadequate parents, etc. but really. . . .for most of the entire course of human history, folks didn't have as much to call home as a one room apartment now, although of course their communties usually helped to support the individuals. support is more than money, or the idea of security and stability sold to us by the financiers. since you have a bit of time before career changing, look around PA for high paying teacher jobs. they are out there. . . .exclusive private schools, public schools in the richest suburbs. go to the best grad school you can for the job connections. i went to penn for part of undergrad and. . . . you are in class with some crazy powerful folks sometimes. okay, the ivy league is too stressful with 2 babies, but PA is fairly peppered with many colleges that cater to the elite- and surely their masters programs feed certain schools which pay more. and i don't know what you do for a living now, but as a teacher you can acceptably cut other expenses from your budget that other careers require. most teachers can be complete fashion dorks if they want, so you cut out clothing expenses and dry cleaning. you won't get looked down on for brown bagging lunch, you may not have the freedom for sneaking to starbucks on the clock. some of my teacher's made extra bucks grading a.p. tests in the summer, or tutoring (which you could do at home when dcs are older).

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by meemee

plus if you work in certain low income schools a huge amount of your school loans are paid.

Man, how I wish it were "a huge amount" of loan forgiveness.

The current limits are:

up to $17,500... IF teach science, math or special education full-time for 5 consecutive years

or

$5,000 after five consecutive years of teaching as a full-time elementary or secondary teacher in a registered low-income school.

http://studentaid.ed.gov/PORTALSWebA...ancelstaff.jsp

Considering the cost of tuition, the years needed to get certified/licensed and the challenges of working in a low-income school... $5,000 after 5 years is pathetic and so sad!

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama

When you are a single Mom, do you give up on dreams and just do what you can to support your family? Or go for the dream and have faith that somehow it will all work out?

When ds was 17 months, I was accepted into a PhD program for social work. It was my dream, my passion!!!

BUT... ds was 17 months and the program was too far away from my family (4-5 hour drive), I would have been seriously financially strapped and it would have just been too much for both of us.

So, I decided to pursue my MAT (Masters of Arts in Teaching), as I had already been teaching overseas for many years and knew it would allow me to be more present and available for ds, plus I would be financially independent and have great benefits.

Teaching definitely isn't my passion, but I am good at it and enjoy it... for the most part. Plus, I always knew once ds was in school, I would pursue my passion again.

Fast forward 6 years, I am now back in grad school pursuing my passion! And, it's amazing!!! I think it is even better now, as I don't have as much guilt and worry about ds.

You have a long life ahead of you, PM! If you can't pursue your passion now, it doesn't mean that you can't do it later. It's not a one-shot kind of deal.

[Phoenix~Mama]

Thanks for all of the responses. It likely isn't something I'd persue for a couple of years anyway, because of needing to get adjusted with two babes, etc.

I guess it's all part of the struggle to really find myself. I just don't want to have to depend on anyone else anymore. But I also want to do something that I'm proud about. I have no pride in my current job. But it's a decent wage for my area, my boss gives us a lot of flexibility, so I can schedule appts and leave early, and just make up the time another day that week, we get a week paid off between Christmas and New Years, I don't have to make up pumping time, as I'm able to take my laptop with me to the pumping room, as of right now I have a pension plan.

So there are definitely a lot of pluses to my current job.

I just don't like anything about what I actually do. lol It's boring, I could care less about hydralics and know nothing about it. (I don't really have to, as I just process data for the system to run and work with accounting a lot). The VP of Accounting keeps trying to get me to change carreers to enter accounting... but meh...

I thought teaching because, I do find myself connecting with kids without thinking about it. For instance at daycare when picking up DD, and often several other kids come over too, and I just naturally am drawn to talking to all of the kids and asking them about their day and what they are doing. I honestly don't think I could handle being a daycare provider full time. lol Way too much going on all day. Which is what led me to thinking about perhaps teaching older kids.

And that seemed to fit into my needs for a certain amount of time off. I definitely need something that has a fair amount of flex/vacation time.

I could not do nursing. Not the biggest fan of blood or needles or any of that. It's just totally not for me. And I could never ever work 12 hour days.

I don't know... I'm likely just stuck at the job I have now, because it'd be hard to find something as flexible.

[meemee]

PM since you really are undecided, when life is ready to let you return to school - if you are going back to start on your bachelors, i would not go there with a career or anything in mind.

i would go and take a variety of general ed classes. and then see which ones really appeal to you and see what career options are open to you. if you like them. i loved math and was pursuing it, till i realised i hate all the career options open to me.

i wasnt able to return to school till dd started K.

[CrazyCatLady]

I am 26 and just figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I went back to school this semester to start my way towards becoming a teacher. My ultimate goal is to be an elementary teacher at a private/language immersion/charter type of school. But who knows?

For what it's worth I went to nursing school a few years ago and hated it. I finished school but only worked as a nurse for a few months before stopping for various reasons. And that expensive lesson taught me that I need to go to school for something that is my passion, and NOT something that I think will be a "good job".

My dd is six and being in school again while home schooling her is hard. I probably should have waited until next year to go back, but I got a scholarship so I jumped on it.

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I've learned a lot from it too.

[bu's mama]

I have to say that a career in education is a great option for a single parent, but you *have* to like what you do. It's an awful job to have if you don't like it.

I was a high school teacher before I was married & resigned when I had dd. I went back and got my library degree so I am now a school librarian in an elementary school close to my home. For me, right now, it is the best option - I'm in the same district as dd so our calendars are the same except for conference days. Most of my summer is my own and I can do planning during the down time at home. I'm home to meet dd's bus after school, which I am so grateful for. I honestly do not know what my passion is except for being with dd and this job allows me to do that.

I make a decent salary but I do have 2 masters degrees and live in a high col area so it doesn't always go so far.

gl