"sneaking" food

[jrabbit]

This is becoming a bigger problem, and I need help.

6 yo DD keeps taking and hiding/eating food in her closet. We keep reducing what's available, and she keeps finding more absurd things ... today found jar of nutella ... We have a MAJOR rule in our house of only eating at the kitchen table, so the problem isn't just that she's snacking - it's that she's hiding food.

2 days ago found a stash of sugar packets, gummy vitamins, and packages of emergn-c powder. We have found wrappers from protein bars (purchased for DH and me) ... candy (that was Nana's fault) ... she has poured salt in a cup and eaten that! the bottle of stevia mysteriously found its way into the bathroom, as did the nearly empty bottle of chocolate syrup.

We have had countless heart-to-heart talks about bugs, and she swears she won't do it again. When we found - in bathroom cabinet - remnants of a melted pint of ice cream (it had been almost empty, but there was a biggggg mess) a week ago, I supervised her cleaning it up, in spite of her flipping out over the army of swarming ants.

She is allowed to eat whenever/whatever (nearly) that she wants. We're a snacking family. We try to only have healthy foods in the house, and the sweets are exceptions, so she's scavenging any way she can. She's skinny, so I'm not worried from a weight/health perspective. We homeschool, and there aren't peer issues involved. We think she's doing this in the mornings, before we wake up, but I'm not positive.

Short of putting a lock on the fridge & pantry (that's physically impossible), I don't know what to do anymore! Financial or physical punishment are out of the question. Loss of privileges doesn't work, either. She's really a good kid, but this is starting to worry me.

thanks
--janis

[honeybunmom]

Even though she's skinny, I'd be wondering whether the 1) the craving for sweets is intense and 2) since the hiding of it makes me think it might be - whether there is a medical reason behind this craving that could be addressed.

[AllisonR]

I'd seriously consider some sort of vitamin/mineral deficiency. Not sure the proper way to thoroughly test for this though. I was extremely deficient and had pica (you can google it). Anemia or hypoglycemia come to mind as well.

Especially if it is happening early morning, hypoglycemia could be a factor. She can snack all day, which keeps her sugar levels stable and balanced, but sleeping all night then she can have a huge sugar crash. If you have hypoglycemia, when this happens, you WANT and NEED food like you can't imagine. Really. And if you do not know better, you will take ANYTHING - be it nutella, ice cream or dirt. Your body is on auto-pilot to survive this imbalance and you cant control yourself. Really. But eating fake chemical sweets actually makes the condition worse, because then your sugar shoots back up, but in a bad way, and crashes again.

The best solution for this is an emergency, but healthy sugar, pick up - like a glass of OJ, and then some long term stabilizing foods like healthy cereal, whole grain bread, oatmeal, beans.... Both DS and I have hypoglycemia, and to keep our sugar stabilized. We can be unfunctioning zombies in the morning. So I offer a small glass of OJ - just to get our sugar level out of the all night fasting shock range, and then we eat something healthy. Now I am no medical expert, but imo you could test this. Put a glass of NATURAL (not chemical sugar sweetened) OJ or apple juice or whatever your DD likes beside her bed in the middle of the night, as well as something stabilizing - like a rice cake or good bread (not white bread with a bunch of sugar/fructose..)... When she wakes up, she can have this. See if it holds her over until morning breakfast, and the food hoarding disappears. Good luck!

[BigGreenDaddy]

DH here. I've asked the Dr to review her recent bloodwork for signs of concern.

[honeybunmom]

I had hypoglycemia for several years (may still have it, but it's controlled in any event) starting in high school. If that is what she's dealing with, another tell tale sign is irritability and an inability to handle any conflict well. Even the smallest things could "set her off" so to speak. This can be pretty bad, especially in the mornings (since she hasn't eaten since the night before) and any time she becomes hungry.

[jrabbit]

well, I'm willing to give anything a try. we sat down and talked today - asked her "why" - she says "I don't know". So I told her that if she's hungry, she can eat, but it must stay in the kitchen, and the protein bars are offlimits. (if I could find something less expensive, maybe ...) She does have a volatile temper, and we do notice it being worse when she forgets to eat.

She's a picky eater, but she likes juice. We don't buy it, though. I'll get some, but I draw the line at having it in her room (bugs, spills). She can pour her own glass in the morning - but we'll have to talk about limits ... she is fond of cereal, so that's easy. Not sure why she's resorting to the other foods, but maybe having the juice available will help.

Any suggestions for a healthy bedtime snack? we could add that into her routine, too.

I understand the need to eat (I routinely eat a bedtime protein snack), but as an adult, I'm better able to regulate my cravings and choose the right foods ... and I brush my teeth more often ...

--janis

[Devaskyla]

We're having a similar problem with 5 year old ds2. He eats it immediately though, it's sadly easy for him to hide in the kitchen to do it or he's hidden in he bathroom a few times. It's always sugary stuff & it's all day, every day. Driving me absolutely bonkers.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by jrabbit

She's a picky eater, but she likes juice. We don't buy it, though. I'll get some, but I draw the line at having it in her room (bugs, spills). She can pour her own glass in the morning - but we'll have to talk about limits ... she is fond of cereal, so that's easy. Not sure why she's resorting to the other foods, but maybe having the juice available will help.

Any suggestions for a healthy bedtime snack? we could add that into her routine, too.

I understand the need to eat (I routinely eat a bedtime protein snack), but as an adult, I'm better able to regulate my cravings and choose the right foods ... and I brush my teeth more often ...

--janis

It does not have to be juice. It just needs to be something with some natural sugar in it, to give her blood sugar level a kick start; and something more stabilizing, so that she can maintain the sugar level longer instead of crashing again. And it should be quick and nearby - so in the bedroom if possible. If she moves the plate to the kitchen every day, then there shouldn't be a bug problem. And if it is hypoglycemia, then doing this will help stabilizer her blood levels, therefore affecting her mood and memory, so she remembers to clean up the plate!

I respectfully disagree that it is just about regulating your cravings. (willpower). A hypoglycemic can not regulate their cravings. Normally, yes, but NOT when they are in a hypoglycemic state.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes. She'll probably get the glucose sugar test.

[GuildJenn]

Have you considered getting her a bug-proof container, crumb-free snacks (nuts come to mind), and letting her self-regulate in her room for a couple of months to see what happens? Because that would give you the information about whether this is a control issue (location), if it eliminates the sneaking.

[scottishmommy]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

Have you considered getting her a bug-proof container, crumb-free snacks (nuts come to mind), and letting her self-regulate in her room for a couple of months to see what happens? Because that would give you the information about whether this is a control issue (location), if it eliminates the sneaking.

Also perhaps a mini fridge with healthy snacks.

[A&A]

It really sounds like she needs more protein in her diet. I'd start there.

Also, beyond bugs, talk to her about mice getting into her room if she keeps hiding food there. Perhaps you could keep a box/shelf in the kitchen that is just "hers" where she can put foods she wants to keep all to herself. Maybe that will give her the sense of control she seems to be needing.

(And technically she is hiding food, but not "stealing" it, as your title states, because she is a member of the family.)

[zeldamomma]

A couple thoughts-- I have a kid who likes to sneak food, I think it's a power thing with her. What has helped is focusing on her cleaning up after herself, instead of on the food/sneaking itself-- so she gets in trouble if she leaves a mess, not if she takes whatever and eats it under the dining room table. However, mine doesn't focus quite so strongly on sugar when she sneaks food-- if she did, I might worry that she is legitimately hungry. You mention that your daughter is a picky eater-- sometimes picky eaters have sensitivities to certain textures, etc... that make it almost impossible for them to eat some foods. I would make sure there was something at every meal that she feels comfortable eating, and let her have as much as she wants.

I think that reducing what is available isn't going to make this better, and will likely make it worse-- either she's hungry and she needs better access to food, or she feels out of control, and turning it into a power struggle won't help. I'd be inclined to make sure the house was full of food she likes (to the extent your finances allow) and see if that helps.

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by jrabbit

well, I'm willing to give anything a try. we sat down and talked today - asked her "why" - she says "I don't know". So I told her that if she's hungry, she can eat, but it must stay in the kitchen, and the protein bars are offlimits. (if I could find something less expensive, maybe ...) She does have a volatile temper, and we do notice it being worse when she forgets to eat.

She's a picky eater, but she likes juice. We don't buy it, though. I'll get some, but I draw the line at having it in her room (bugs, spills). She can pour her own glass in the morning - but we'll have to talk about limits ... she is fond of cereal, so that's easy. Not sure why she's resorting to the other foods, but maybe having the juice available will help.

Any suggestions for a healthy bedtime snack? we could add that into her routine, too.

I understand the need to eat (I routinely eat a bedtime protein snack), but as an adult, I'm better able to regulate my cravings and choose the right foods ... and I brush my teeth more often ...

--janis

Lara bars could work--if she likes them--as either a bedtime or early morning snack. They're basically nuts and dried fruit. Dh and I watch for sales on those and other protein bars. Yes, they're expensive, but we have a hard time having food in the house (other than wine and beer!) that's just for the grown-ups.

As for a bedtime protein snack, what do you eat? Would she eat that?

Other things that come to mind are nuts, cheese, cold meat (if you eat meat). Dd1 likes a bedtime snack; we just make sure she brushes after it.

[Tigerchild]

Do you think that there is any chance she is self medicating due to stress or other emotional problems?

I have a compulsive eating disorder. Her behavior sounds exactly like mine. I too was tiny and skinny (and it started very early), but once my metabolism shifted in early adulthood and after pregnancy it caught up with me quickly. It's extremely hard trying unlearn 30 years of compulsive eating.

I know no parent probably wants to contemplate something like that going on with a child, but...I think if you do all the medical tests and nothing comes up, you should consider that possibility.

[provocativa]

also, look into other food issues like food chemical intolerances (feingold.org) and food allergies- which can cause food to be incompletely digested, and the person to then need to eat more food. i agree about hypog. and more protein. . . . also, craving sugar can be a sign of yeast in the gut. other than bedtime snack you could also work out a morning snack other than cereal. carbs just break down into sugar in the gut, and continue the cycle of sugar addiction. i wouldn't continue reducing selections or hiding food from her- if she does not have shame about the issue, then that could help create it.

[jrabbit]

great ideas and insight. I want to say first that when I said "Financial or physical punishment are out of the question. Loss of privileges doesn't work, either. " I meant that I object to the suggestion of financial or physical punishments, but I have tried loss of privileges, but I quickly abandoned that idea. I have required her to clean up messes, but that's as far as "punishment" has really ever gone. We do not want food to become anything associated with pain, fear, shame, etc.

As for my objections re the protein bars - it's that they are expensive. we think she just likes them because they are chocolate, not a protein issue. We are vegetarian, but I do think she gets enough protein (we eat dairy and eggs). Unfortunately, she's not fond of nuts, but we're working on that. We try to keep plenty of acceptable snack food around within her reach and view - just working hard at keeping the actual sugar out of her reach.

We now have orange juice in the house, and we've talked about how she can eat whenever she is hungry - just must remain in the kitchen area. I won't budge on that because we are in an old house, and there ARE bugs and mice.

We've wondered about food tolerance issues, but her actions don't really jive with what I've read about that.

A lot is going on in our lives right now, which doesn't mean we're ignoring the problem - but we're just not able to be experimental.

thanks!
--janis

[eepster]

Could she be sleep eating?

You not being sure when she is doing these things, and her saying things like she doesn't know why she does it, makes me wonder if she might be doing it in her sleep. Basically she is sleepwalking and the thing she does while sleepwalking is eat. It would also explain why you find packaging in strange places like the medicine cabinet.

[jrabbit]

sleep eating is something I wondered at first, too - but when questioned again, she has explained that she does it after Daddy goes to work.

We've been working on better family communication in general, and better ways to accommodate hunger ... with the morning orange juice ... and her OWN stash of chocolate protein bars (permission to eat half at a time, one time a day), we're hoping to curtail the "sneaking" part.

thanks to all.
--janis

[One_Girl]

Have you had her tested for diabetes? I believe it is a test they do with the urine and not with the blood so getting her in for that may be something to consider. If she wants a private place to eat perhaps you could set up a cheap tent in the living room and let her eat in there or at the table. The crumbs can be dumped out outside and any leftover food will be obvious.

[dawncayden]

Hmmm I grew up as a veg and I used to sneak food too. We didn't eat eggs. But we had dairy and tofu mainly. I remember always being hungry no matter how much I would eat. I had major sweet issues...always needing a fix of sugar. I could sit and consume an entire loaf of bread
I started eating meat at 11 and I stopped feeling that 'all the time' hunger. My mom disagrees with me about eating meat...but for my body I feel much healthier if its a part of my diet.
Maybe its a protein thing?