Can you start at 21months?

[nervousmommy]

I think at this point it's called Potty Learning. Not sure if this is the right forum...please move if this is not the right place.

I'm in a mommy group where some are doing EC others are cloth diapering and I'm the only one who used disposables. We got a potty at 16 months and my DS liked peeing in the potty. I would take his diaper off whenever I went and asked him if he wanted to sit down and go pee pee too. Didn't bother with poops although we always talked about when he was pooping and when mommy and daddy were pooping and peeing. Now whenever we ask if he wants to sit on the potty he always says NO even when we know he is pooping.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to push him and have it become a defiance thing, but I definitely want to encourage him to be on the potty.

What should I do? Wait until he's older? Switch to cloth diapers? Go to underpants? Wait until he wants to again and put potty away and stop asking him? Maybe he feels pressured because we always ask.

Any good books you would reccomend at this stage. I want to respect him and not pressure him but at the same time encourage pottying in the toilet. Not sure if I will do full EC with the next one, but I think I will start a lot sooner!!!

Thanks

[emmaegbert]

I thought Christine Gross-Loh's book was good talking about EC at different ages.
We did something like early PL/EC but I'd never heard about it w/ DS. Like yours he used the potty from about that same age, and then slowly I moved him to more nakey time and less diaper time.

He never minded poop in the potty (actually he HATED poop in his diaper which was why I got the potty in the first place at 15m). So I can't help you there!

Maybe let him know he can poop in diapers if he wants? Why not pee in the potty but don't pressure him with poops? You can also have him dump his own poop into the toilet (if you don't already) so you start really making the connection that this is where poop belongs.

Good luck!

[heatherr30]

I don't think it matters what you call it. You can incorporate a lot of EC elements into a toddler's potty learning. For example, when I potty trained DD at 24 months, I took responsibility for getting her to the potty in time for the first few months. For a lot of moms this would be unthinkable, but we were happy with it, and she eventually took over. Reading about EC helped me understand her cues and that it was ok--ie it wasn't harming her--for me to give her a lot of reminders. (some "experts" seem to think the child should potty train themselves...)

I read an e-book from www.thepottytrainer.com which really helped me. The lady is strict with her children but other than that the method seems a lot like EC for toddlers. The author does recommend that toddlers should spend as much time as possible in non-super-absorbant diapers so they can feel when wet... and then be changed immediately... don't know where you would buy these, so I guess you might have to use cloth or training pants, or nakey time if the LO doesn't seem to get discourged by accidents. She also gives the great idea of making the potty fun and just letting the LO get used to sitting on it, doing fun things, without the pressure of peeing or pooing in it, at first.

[xekomaya]

Depending on what kind of commitment you're up for, here is what I would do: Start leaving him naked from the waist down while you're at home, preferably on tile or wood floors that are easily washed Whenever he pees on the floor just say casually "Oh, you peed. Lets wipe it up" and have him help.

poop on the potty is very important to me, and if you can count on that the rest is not as gross. If you see he's about to poop, I wouldn't ask if he wants to use the potty but just sit him there and tell him what is happening("you're pooping, this is where you sit when you have to go"). If it doesn't go well, I would try some variations before giving up. You can hold him classic EC style over the big potty, try a special potty seat, etc. If he does do it, "You went poop on the potty!" Hooray & clap!

Oh and if you don't want to hear "no" for an answer, don't ask a yes or no question. Try some variations when you pee like "Lets go potty together!" and just put him there. If he gets off, no big deal, if he stays and goes, great! (personally, for pee I wouldn't stress, for poop I would try to work through a minor protest)

good luck!