What to do with 4 year old while I get 1 year old to nap

[winnie]

I'm just wondering what everyone else does with their older DC's while getting the baby to fall asleep for a nap. DD is nearly 1, and although I usually try to get her to nap twice a day, it seems she is on her way to dropping one of them. Sometimes it only takes 10 minutes to nurse her to sleep, but other times I am stuck on the bed with her for up to 40 minutes, doing the pantley removal (trying to get my nipple out of her mouth, for those of you that have not heard of it) over and over and over!

Normally I try to set DS up with either a tv show that would hold his attention, or he can play PBS kids on the computer. If I just leave him to continue playing with toys, reading, or doing crafts, he will come yelling for me within minutes. He really likes to (very loudly) keep me updated on everything he is doing, and forgets very quickly that I've asked him to be quiet for a bit. So basically I have to sedate him with screen time. And of course DD wants to know everything he is doing, so if she can hear him she will NOT sleep!

I am starting to wonder if there is any way to change her nap routine to not include nursing, and how I might go about this...I don't know. All I know is that I really can't expect my 4 year old to be patient enough to wait 40 minutes for me to get her to sleep, sometimes twice a day, and I'm feeling really guilty about it. Have to say I'm a little envious of the friends I have who give their babes a bottle, stick them in the crib, and shut the door.

Any thoughts or ideas?
Thanks,
Erin

[Oliver's Mama]

No suggestions, but I can totally sympathize, and am eager to hear if others have suggestions. and.. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who has to resort to pbs kids during the baby's naptime
have you tried some sort of background/white noise to help lull to sleep and drown out the noise from the older one?

[Peony]

Umm, been doing a 30 minute DVD or computer game for years in this house to get little ones to sleep with older siblings around. They are the only constant things that keep the bigger kids quiet and contained for that amount of time.

[lookatreestar]

we really dont have a solution here either. mine are 3.5 and 15 months. he still will take 2 naps if i can get my dd to be quiet or sometimes dh takes her out during his big afternoon nap. a lot of the time he doesn't get a good nap and it stinks for everyone but really he does the same thing. if he suspects she is up to something he has to check it out. he always thinks he is missing something! sometimes we all take a nap but that is rare. so i am just looking forward to him not needing naps!

eta, i put on a movie most the time too.

[Lizbiz]

We don't really do TV much, and I haven't used it many times to contain my son while I put my daughter down for naps. I just decided that the 2nd baby was going to have to be an easy to put down napper. So, from the start I just made her routine around naps not that quiet - I let my son sit on the bed while I nursed her and he has also gotten used to being quieter than usual (I've had to discipline this behavior into existence - lots and lots of practice ). She does get distracted by him of course - but I usually do end up quieting him down if he gets riled up - if he doesn't quiet down - I send him away and insist that he is no longer welcome in the room until I come out.

She does nurse sometimes before naps - but she doesn't fall asleep at the breast - I put her down awake. She may fuss a bit and at times she even cries a bit - usually she works it out in 2 minutes and settles into sleep. If not - I go back in and pat her down or readjust her or whatever. That usually does it.

So, we just started out like this - because I had a little guy 2 1/2 who I couldn't just leave in the next room while I put her down. He is much better now at 3 years old - but at first - I would have been afraid of what he'd get into while I put his sister down.

You could try to transition your babe to nursing and then being put down instead of nursing to sleep - but I sure do know babies are little creatures of habits and yours might protest wildly at this! Then again, your babe might make the transition easily over a few days. May be worth a try.

I don't think there's anything wrong with watching TV while you're putting your babe down - maybe you can just try to shave that time down from 40 minutes to 10-15 minutes. Good luck!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

PBS kids here too... for the same reasons

It's the only screen time she gets during the day. Sometimes she will play with her toys instead, and I encourage that, but at least I know if she's on the computer, she's unlikely to be doing something physically dangerous (which she never has, actually, but you know how it is...)

[karika]

I would try having all of you in the same room. Take as long as you need to let the baby rest this way. It is good for babies to fall asleep with noise in the room IMO. Then once baby is asleep, stay in there and use that as time to play certain board games the older one loves, or cards, or whatever games he loves that you can't play with baby around because of destroy/ put pieces in mouth issues... this way, you can maintain physical contact with dc2 and be there for the older child. I did this with dd1, although she is 5.5 years older than dd2. dd2 does react to dd1's voice, it wakes her up, but not mine... I can yell and she won't stir.. but hear dd1 and it's "what is going on?" but she will fall asleep if she is tired. I believe in staying with the babies as they nap as much as possible.

[boobs4milk]

mine is in the other room watching a learning program (college) on pbs! sesame street went off and she's still enthralled. she's learning about budgeting and eating green!

millie will not nap alone, so i have no choice. natalie is in pre-k now, but today she stayed home because she was coughing last night.

[winnie]

Thanks all!

I don't mean to sound like I'm totally against tv or computer...I don't mind if he watches/plays a bit.

I think my biggest issue is that I would really like to be using DD's naptime playing with DS one-on-one or getting a little time to relax myself. I hate being stuck in bed, thinking about all the things I would like to be doing (unless of course, DH is home and I can actually nap!!). And, I often spend 15 minutes getting her to sleep just to have DS come running in yelling something, and then she's up anyways.

I've tried using a crib or playpen in the past, with not much success. She has a total fit if I put her in there awake, and if I get her to sleep and then try to put her down, I usually have to start all over again.

Thanks again for your thoughts...glad to know that what we're currently doing is pretty common.

Erin

[Kmama2]

Originally Posted by Peony

Umm, been doing a 30 minute DVD or computer game for years in this house to get little ones to sleep with older siblings around. They are the only constant things that keep the bigger kids quiet and contained for that amount of time.

Same here. My 10 month old needs a nap by 9 am.. and if dd isn't watching a movie she yells and tells me everything too.... Usually it takes me 15-25 min to get ds down for a nap. Thats the only time she gets Tv most of the time so I try not to feel guilty about it. In the afternoon My 3 year old goes down first and then I nurse the baby down. I can't come up with a diff solution.