I guess I have to go back to homeschooling

[Lisa1970]

I guess I will have to return to homeschooling. Basically, the magnet school dropped being a math and science magnet, which I posted about before. But it is still a project based school. The students are assigned to groups and have to do a huge project every month. Apparently, these projects count toward a portion of the grades in every single class. So, if you get an F, that is an F in every single class.

Now that the school is no longer a math and science magnet, the first project ended up being planning a super bowl party. They had a budget and goals for the party. They could get sponsors, but of course, sponsors must be paid back. I guess the party has to be for 1500-2000 people. Yet, their budget is only $28,000. That means the budget is only $14 per person. Then, to make matters worse, my daughter was paired with 2 boys, one who is way older than her. The older boy has done the entire project himself and not allowed any of the other two to participate, other than to give them occassional tasks to do. He went way way over budget, to over $200,000. The project is a complete failure but he will not listen to my daughter at all. He also refuses to meet outside of school, meaning that he is doing everything by himself and excluding my daughter.

SO, let's say my daughter were to earn 100 in algebra 2 or precalculus. But, these projects continue to go like this where my daughter has no say and no control. She could end up flunking her classes, all of them. She might earn 100 in each class, but these event planning projects, which is completely not a math or science related project, could pull all her grades down so far that she has to repeat the year, or at least have low grades on her transcripts. She really worked hard for her high A's last year. What happens if she works equally hard this year, but gets a bunch of C's because the boys she gets paired with (due to being merged with the hockey team and already being a math and science school, the school is only 1/4 to 1/3 girls so she will always be the only girl on each team) won't work with her or consider her input or otherwise?

I feel like I need to pull her now before getting any deeper in to this and having her given (as opposed to earned) low grades.

[eclipse]

Having read your previous posts about this school. . .I don't even know what to say. I find it all very hard to believe (not that I think you're lying - just that it blows my mind that a school would do the ridiculous things this one is doing!).

I'm sorry it's not working out for you and your daughter the way you planned .

[lach]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you (and your children)! Every time you post about this issue (okay, this is only the second post I've read... but still) it just sounds more and more ridiculous.

"Cooperative-based learning" was a hot new trend when I was in school, and it was ALWAYS a disaster. I was a nerd, so either the popular kids took over the project and did all of the work (poorly), or the group made me do everything (well). Either way sucked. I'm sure it works great in Business School, where everyone is an adult and equally driven and understand the stakes. But in grade school always, and even as an undergrad usually, it was just a total disaster.

And I bet you just about anything that if you complain, you'll be told that the kids need to "learn to work things out" and that "learning to cooperate is an important part of the project." And then pegged as an annoying helicopter mom. Even though this situation is obviously ridiculous, and only magical thinking would make anyone believe this boy will suddenly see the error of his ways and every project from here on out will be perfect.

I guess the only thing I can think of is to write a letter to the administration with your concerns, and say that if things don't improve by December you will be pulling her out, and you've already heard from several other parents that they are thinking the same thing. In my previous post, I pointed out that the schools high math/science scores are jeopardized by having the hockey kids in there, and I would absolutely make certain to point out that if the school doesn't appease the math/science kids, and they start to leave, the school's scores will suffer and their ranking will drop. Administrators live in fear of stuff like that.

[34me]

I'm so sorry. That just is so dissappointing for your kids. I have a suspicion that the boy that we know that went, probably did so to get away from his parents. He is 14 but here should have been going in to 8th grade, so in fact they sent a student who was struggling in his grade last year to a school where he essentially skipped a grade in to 9th. Not cool on so many levels.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by eclipse

Having read your previous posts about this school. . .I don't even know what to say. I find it all very hard to believe (not that I think you're lying - just that it blows my mind that a school would do the ridiculous things this one is doing!).

I'm sorry it's not working out for you and your daughter the way you planned .

Apparently, the Hockey academy lost its place, but was run by the same people, so that is why they merged them. Plus, I am not getting solid answers on any of my questions to them. My son is loving it, but my daughter is in a group, where it is like I described. The one older boy running the show and excluding her.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by 34me

I'm so sorry. That just is so dissappointing for your kids. I have a suspicion that the boy that we know that went, probably did so to get away from his parents. He is 14 but here should have been going in to 8th grade, so in fact they sent a student who was struggling in his grade last year to a school where he essentially skipped a grade in to 9th. Not cool on so many levels.

So you know one of the Hockey Kids who came here for this?

[lach]

I looked quickly at the community and reread what you've said about this school. I think that you are right and that you should pull her. I can't see this going anywhere good.

I'm so sorry that it turned out so poorly for your family.

Is the Geometry really a dealbreaker for the private school?

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by lach

I am so sorry that this is happening to you (and your children)! Every time you post about this issue (okay, this is only the second post I've read... but still) it just sounds more and more ridiculous.

"Cooperative-based learning" was a hot new trend when I was in school, and it was ALWAYS a disaster. I was a nerd, so either the popular kids took over the project and did all of the work (poorly), or the group made me do everything (well). Either way sucked. I'm sure it works great in Business School, where everyone is an adult and equally driven and understand the stakes. But in grade school always, and even as an undergrad usually, it was just a total disaster.

And I bet you just about anything that if you complain, you'll be told that the kids need to "learn to work things out" and that "learning to cooperate is an important part of the project." And then pegged as an annoying helicopter mom. Even though this situation is obviously ridiculous, and only magical thinking would make anyone believe this boy will suddenly see the error of his ways and every project from here on out will be perfect.

I guess the only thing I can think of is to write a letter to the administration with your concerns, and say that if things don't improve by December you will be pulling her out, and you've already heard from several other parents that they are thinking the same thing. In my previous post, I pointed out that the schools high math/science scores are jeopardized by having the hockey kids in there, and I would absolutely make certain to point out that if the school doesn't appease the math/science kids, and they start to leave, the school's scores will suffer and their ranking will drop. Administrators live in fear of stuff like that.

Yes, my children are definite geeks, my daughter more than my son. She wants to do well and takes her education very seriously. I never liked project based learning either. Even in college, it always turned out somewhat like this, where small numbers did all the work or others took over, but it was never a learning experience, never learned anything from it, and it did not apply to real life situations.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by lach

I looked quickly at the community and reread what you've said about this school. I think that you are right and that you should pull her. I can't see this going anywhere good.

I'm so sorry that it turned out so poorly for your family.

Is the Geometry really a dealbreaker for the private school?

The private school is a Catholic school and actually is run by the diocese. They have a different school that is more academically oriented and they want us to take our daughter there. That is fine, and it is a good school, BUT, we already had to drive 30 minutes to go to that private school and the other school is at least another 30 minutes away. It is in Dallas, but down in Dallas and we would have to drive there in rush hour. With 5 children (a baby, 2 homeschooled elementary aged kids, and a son who is fine with the first private school, and then this daughter) it would just be impossible to devote that much of each day in the car driving just one person.

[lach]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970

The private school is a Catholic school and actually is run by the diocese. They have a different school that is more academically oriented and they want us to take our daughter there. That is fine, and it is a good school, BUT, we already had to drive 30 minutes to go to that private school and the other school is at least another 30 minutes away. It is in Dallas, but down in Dallas and we would have to drive there in rush hour. With 5 children (a baby, 2 homeschooled elementary aged kids, and a son who is fine with the first private school, and then this daughter) it would just be impossible to devote that much of each day in the car driving just one person.

Oof, that is really tough. Not to beat a dead horse, but there's no chance of carpooling? I went to a private school that was pretty far away, and carpooled with another family. And is public transportation not an option? I don't know the first thing about public transportation in Dallas.

But, realistically, it does sound like HSing this year is your best bet, before she gets any permanent poor grades because of this school's ridiculous actions. Is she open to it? Maybe next year there will be another option.

[Lisa1970]

I feel like I simply made poor choices in schools. I did not chose to live where we live, my dh did knowing the schools were horrible. We were homeschooling at the time anyway, so I guess dh figured it did not matter, he liked the houses and such. The town does not have a ton of traffic, it is a little more isolated than most suburbs, that sort of thing. But then we found that the commute from here to most private schools was just awful. So, we have limited ourselves to close by schools. I did see some schools that were obvious great matches for my daughter, but did not go with them because of the drive. Covenant School of Dallas would have been perfect for her. There were a few others too. But, first, we just went with the one MIL wanted, which is the one with the strict rules about which classes 9th graders could take. And we thought the magnet would be perfect, as both our children are headed to math and science careers. Then we had the blow there. That might still work out for my son, but not for my daughter. My son is not as hard working and likes to goof off and does not take school so seriously. He has a solid B average. He is smart and is capable of a lot, but does prefer the easier route. My daughter, on the other hand, actually wants challenging and hard work. She does community service just because she is that sort of person, and she is far ahead in school already and with excellent grades.

If we return her to homeschooling, it would be to a distance learning program so she can still apply to different private schools next year. My husband feels it is time to relocate, and I think he is right. I grew up in the public schools and cannot help but feel that there must still be good public schools out there. I would like to move to an area with better public schools and stop stressing over all this.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by lach

Oof, that is really tough. Not to beat a dead horse, but there's no chance of carpooling? I went to a private school that was pretty far away, and carpooled with another family. And is public transportation not an option? I don't know the first thing about public transportation in Dallas.

But, realistically, it does sound like HSing this year is your best bet, before she gets any permanent poor grades because of this school's ridiculous actions. Is she open to it? Maybe next year there will be another option.

We were going to look at carpooling, but, the school year started 2 weeks ago at that school now. I am not so sure how it would even work to send her there.

I don't think she is thrilled over returning to homeschooling, but she has not complained about it. It was a mutual decision to end homeschooling. Despite being quite smart, she is starting to get a bit boy crazy and always wanting to be on the go so it was feeling like sending her to school was the better option to having to sit there and listen to the frequent requests to analyze a certain boy's every word and action. She needs new girlfriends! Ok, so maybe it is not new girlfriends that she needs, but rather to be brainwashed of all ideas of certain boy. Maybe I should be glad she comes to me with these things, but it would be nice if she met other boys to obsess over and made some girlfriends to analyze everything with. "when he made this face, what do you think it meant?" "when he volunteered to do this part, what do you think it meant?" Oh gosh, I feel like I am a teen again! Without the benefits of being skinny again, LOL. I am perhaps being selfish, but I am a little tired of hearing her every thought. Ok, so I am selfish. And she is a normal teenaged girl.

Oh, back to the carpooling, I do not know anyone around here who goes to that school. Doesn't mean there is no one, I just do not know of anyone.

[34me]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970

So you know one of the Hockey Kids who came here for this?

I am embarassed to say that I do. He was the goalie on my son's team last year here in CO. Apparently he went to a camp there and they convinced him to go to the Acadamy. His parents say it was his choice. I think they sold him on it not being much school as he is a struggling student. Honestly, it's also not great hockey. We have better hockey here, ds's team was #4 in the nation last year.

[lach]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970

We were going to look at carpooling, but, the school year started 2 weeks ago at that school now. I am not so sure how it would even work to send her there.

I don't think she is thrilled over returning to homeschooling, but she has not complained about it. It was a mutual decision to end homeschooling. Despite being quite smart, she is starting to get a bit boy crazy and always wanting to be on the go so it was feeling like sending her to school was the better option to having to sit there and listen to the frequent requests to analyze a certain boy's every word and action. She needs new girlfriends! Ok, so maybe it is not new girlfriends that she needs, but rather to be brainwashed of all ideas of certain boy. Maybe I should be glad she comes to me with these things, but it would be nice if she met other boys to obsess over and made some girlfriends to analyze everything with. "when he made this face, what do you think it meant?" "when he volunteered to do this part, what do you think it meant?" Oh gosh, I feel like I am a teen again! Without the benefits of being skinny again, LOL. I am perhaps being selfish, but I am a little tired of hearing her every thought. Ok, so I am selfish. And she is a normal teenaged girl.

Oh, back to the carpooling, I do not know anyone around here who goes to that school. Doesn't mean there is no one, I just do not know of anyone.

Oh Lisa, you are too funny! This post made me laugh. I definitely see what you mean. Some things... just require a peer mind.

She sounds like a really good egg, and it's really great that she is putting her academic needs first. That shows a lot of maturity and long-term thinking. Hopefully next year something better will work out, whether it's moving of being able to find a carpool or another school opportunity.

Just to throw out one more idea, but do you have any friends or relatives who live in better school districts who she might be able to live with for the coming school year? Sort of a cheap boarding school Depending on how close, she'd definitely be able to come home for vacations, and maybe even weekends. Schools in some areas of the country haven't even started yet, so that might make the transition easier, too. Personally, I'm not sure how I'd feel about this plan, but it is something that a lot of kids do and it works out well.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by lach

Oh Lisa, you are too funny! This post made me laugh. I definitely see what you mean. Some things... just require a peer mind.

She sounds like a really good egg, and it's really great that she is putting her academic needs first. That shows a lot of maturity and long-term thinking. Hopefully next year something better will work out, whether it's moving of being able to find a carpool or another school opportunity.

Just to throw out one more idea, but do you have any friends or relatives who live in better school districts who she might be able to live with for the coming school year? Sort of a cheap boarding school Depending on how close, she'd definitely be able to come home for vacations, and maybe even weekends. Schools in some areas of the country haven't even started yet, so that might make the transition easier, too. Personally, I'm not sure how I'd feel about this plan, but it is something that a lot of kids do and it works out well.

I tried to beg my sister to let me use her address, she lives close enough, but she is a teacher and has too many friends there and people would know is what she says. My neice is only a year younger and my sister is happy with the schools and it is only the next district over.

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by lach

Oh Lisa, you are too funny! This post made me laugh. I definitely see what you mean. Some things... just require a peer mind.

She sounds like a really good egg, and it's really great that she is putting her academic needs first. That shows a lot of maturity and long-term thinking. Hopefully next year something better will work out, whether it's moving of being able to find a carpool or another school opportunity.

Just to throw out one more idea, but do you have any friends or relatives who live in better school districts who she might be able to live with for the coming school year? Sort of a cheap boarding school Depending on how close, she'd definitely be able to come home for vacations, and maybe even weekends. Schools in some areas of the country haven't even started yet, so that might make the transition easier, too. Personally, I'm not sure how I'd feel about this plan, but it is something that a lot of kids do and it works out well.

Oh, I just need to add, that other Catholic school...LOL...it is the sister school to the boys school that "that boy" goes to!!! LOL When my daughter found out, she was begging to go there! But the boys school is right off the highway where as the girls school is much further down in to the city which adds tons of time to the trip. We know plenty of boys around here going to the boys school, none to the girls school.

[lach]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970

I tried to beg my sister to let me use her address, she lives close enough, but she is a teacher and has too many friends there and people would know is what she says. My neice is only a year younger and my sister is happy with the schools and it is only the next district over.

I understand why she is adverse to the idea, though it would be so perfect. A lot of schools really have been cracking down on this practice with all the budget issues most places are having, and she could get in real trouble as a teacher. Still, it's too bad it won't work out: it sounds like it would have been perfect.

I realized that my posts maybe seem like I'm trying to talk you out of homeschooling her, and I hope you're not reading them that way. You're obviously an experienced homeschooler and you've obviously done a good job. I think if you had no experience homeschooling, I'd be more "rah rah you'll do great, homeschooling high school can be a great experience!" But since you obviously don't need that sort of cheerleading, I was just throwing random other ideas that popped into my head out there.

That said, even though it's not a perfect situation for your family, it does seem like it will work out well, at least for the coming year. I plan on homeschooling my kids up to high school and then sending them to a private school, but I do think that there are so many great opportunities for older homeschooled kids.

[rabrog]

Don't worry, this school will either be losing students like crazy, closing it's doors or doing a major re-think next year.

I'm so sorry it's turned out like this.

Jenn

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by rabrog

Don't worry, this school will either be losing students like crazy, closing it's doors or doing a major re-think next year.

I'm so sorry it's turned out like this.

Jenn

I ran in to a family yesterday that dropped out after hearing about the hockey issue and some other issues. They said they knew of others who dropped out. I did not get all the details though. I hope to see them again so we can talk more. They are homeschooling this year through a distance learning program and are very happy about it.

[One_Girl]

I hated group work at that age because I always got the slacker group or the group with an insufferable bossy person/slacker group combination and I was always able to get permission to do the assignment on my own. I was shy, but I was also good at advocating for myself. If you can teach your daughter to go to the teacher to do this you may find that it turns out well. Charter and magnet schools often have hiccups that they have to work out so bringing this to their attention may be a good thing. There may be many kids who are either having to do all of the work or dealing with someone hogging the project and doing it wrong. Pointing out how horrible it is for a child's entire grade to be based on a project they either get no help with or no say in, and telling them you are thinking of pulling your children out because of the lower academic standards and the unreasonable expectations may help.

If these are the grades that will count for college entrance then I think you should look into doing things differently. I would not want to ride out the snags that come with a new school or a switch in how things are done if it was going to affect my child's chances at college. We have one charter school in our area that took five years to work out their snags and they got a lot of negative feedback from parents once their kids hit junior high and high school because of the seriously low academic standards. They are now a very wonderful school, but it can take a long time and that is something to keep in mind before deciding how long you are going to wait before making a decision.