Having child pay for own video game system?

[nainai0585]

My ds is 4 yrs old, turning 5 next month. He has been asking for a DS EVERY DAY for the past 2 months, sometimes 2-3xs a day (due to being at daycare and the children there having a DS). I have FINALLY talked dh out of getting him a DS for his birthday (strongly feel ds is too young to have one) and have luckily pushed it back 'til christmas. A light bulb went off though today when ds was showing me his penny jar (a large ceramic jar) half filled with all the change he gets from different people (mostly myself and dh, but also from friends and family... A LOT of pennies, a few loonies and toonies [yes, we're Canadian ], etc). A thought came into my head, "Why not have ds pay for his own DS?" At least he'll be almost 6 yrs by the time the jar is filled, and I will cover any cost he cannot due to lack of funds. What do you think?

A DS here costs anywhere from $150 - $200 Canadian (the DSi LX being the most expensive). A used regular DS is $100.

[lynsage]

I think you should just explain to him that it's not age-appropriate for him to have one now or anytime soon, and ask if he wants to start saving up his pennies so he can buy one when he's 6. My daughter is almost 6 and my DF just recently started allowing her to use the DS. She has to be supervised with it to make sure she doesn't break it or lose the stylus.

[Drummer's Wife]

Well, all of my children (ages 3, 5, 7, and 9) have their own DS/DSi's. So, I don't personally feel like 4 is too young. However, since you do, I would just explain that a handheld video game is more of a 6 yo type of item. You could still encourage your 4 yo to save up money to help pay for one, but I think it would take a long time unless he gets birthday money or earns an allowance. Though, I suppose with even just change he could have enough in a couple years - like you are saying - but since your aversion seems to be his age rather than the cost of it, I'd be honest with the kid about it.

FWIW, my older two kids didn't get theirs until they were 6 and 8 - mainly b/c they didn't have an interest in them - but now that I see my younger kids enjoy them, I don't feel bad for allowing them earlier.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by nainai0585

(strongly feel ds is too young to have one) .

If you think he's too young to have one then the discussion should stop there. If you don't want him to have it, he shouldn't no matter who pays for it.

[Amatullah0]

Another vote for being honest!

Personally, I don't like them because they promote children to cut off from the world and get lost in a manufactured world(not from their own fantasy, which I would have no problem with) I don't like any video games, but even a game on a bigger screen(like the family tv) would at least promote some discussion, even if it may be "oh, go over there"

I really dislike how kids(or adults) get so far lost in these personal gaming systems that they don't look where they are going, or can't follow a conversation, but this goes for cell phones, ipods, etc. too.

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

If you think he's too young to have one then the discussion should stop there. If you don't want him to have it, he shouldn't no matter who pays for it.

That. If you're ok with him having one a whatever age, tell him that. My older son got a DS when he was 6 I believe, but it was a Christmas gift. He is responsible for buying any games he wants unless he gets them as gifts.

[GuildJenn]

Although I don't think it will harm your child if you go ahead with your plan, it kind of sounds like you're using getting your kid to pay for it as a way to avoid conflict with your husband - that doesn't sound like the best way to go to me.

[nainai0585]

I did have this conversation with ds before posting, and he got really excited about filling up the jar for a DS. DH was able to find one of the really old used game boy systems with 1 game, and we're giving him that for his birthday (trade off with dh instead of the DS).

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

If you think he's too young to have one then the discussion should stop there. If you don't want him to have it, he shouldn't no matter who pays for it.

I agree 100%. If you actively don't want your child to have something, that needs to be made clear. I occasionally still find myself saying something like, "I don't want to spend my money on that" but my children (at 11 & almost 9) generally come back with "I'll spend my money, then." If I don't want them to have it, I need to say clearly they may NOT have it.

Originally Posted by nainai0585

I did have this conversation with ds before posting, and he got really excited about filling up the jar for a DS. DH was able to find one of the really old used game boy systems with 1 game, and we're giving him that for his birthday (trade off with dh instead of the DS).

Can I ask why a game boy is okay and a DS is not?

[meemee]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

Can I ask why a game boy is okay and a DS is not?

yeah even i wanna know. i dont get why game boy is ok over DS?!!!!

[Dingletwitz]

Two ideas come to mind:
1. If you are hesitant about game systems for young kids, then this is a great time to work on resisting peer pressure.
2. If it's the cost that gets you, then your idea sounds great.

We don't have game systems in the house and won't, but dd does get some exposure to chuckecheese and such and has her own laptop for seeing library vid, so I might come down off my horse at some point. (certainly not until she has an established rhythm of activity prior to having one tho)

[nainai0585]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

Can I ask why a game boy is okay and a DS is not?

To me a DS is very different from a game boy in the fact that a DS is SO easily broken, the stylis (I don't know if that's what its called) is lost constantly, the games are anywhere from $30-$60 each, and the screen is so easily destroyed. I know this from talking to parents and watching children play with them. Whereas a game boy is very heavily protected (not by water though ) and I can easily pick up the games from any second hand store.

The main reason though was attempting to teach ds about saving his money for something he really wants. And the hope that he would actually care about it as he had to pay for it, not myself or dh. Once again reinforcing responsibility for his things.

[CarrieMF]

A DS here costs anywhere from $150 - $200 Canadian (the DSi LX being the most expensive). A used regular DS is $100.

You can get them cheaper than that. No regular DS costs almost $200. We got the girls their DS' 2 years ago. Superstore had them on sale in September for $99. They never went on for that price again that year, but even after that they were never more than $130 & that was before the DSi came out.

SO easily broken, the stylis (I don't know if that's what its called) is lost constantly, the games are anywhere from $30-$60 each, and the screen is so easily destroyed

If you teach responsibility they stylus' are not lost. They have lost 1 each, 1 of which fell in the seats of the car. I bought a replacement set of 3 & haven't had to buy any more since then. most games can be played without the stylus. the screens are not destroyed. When we got them I purchased skins for them through scholastic at school. They came with screen protectors. We've never had to replace the screen protector. The most we've paid for a game was $30 & that was a brand new game. You can get games for alot cheaper than $30, alot are $10-$20.

Whereas a game boy is very heavily protected (not by water though ) and I can easily pick up the games from any second hand store

Gameboy games can be played in a DS.

[Drummer's Wife]

Stylus' cost like $5 - I buy packs of 3 for $15. My kids are pretty rough, and their DS and DSi's have held up fine. We had a gameboy, too, and I think the DS's are made better.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

If you think he's too young to have one then the discussion should stop there. If you don't want him to have it, he shouldn't no matter who pays for it.

I agree. You're the parent. This should be your decision, not something he gets to save up for, even though you don't want him to have it.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by nainai0585

The main reason though was attempting to teach ds about saving his money for something he really wants.

at 4? well he's almost 5. dont you think that's really young to be thinking about saving? they still even havent figured out the 'wanting' part.

maybe 6 is a good idea to bring up saving. 4 is an age he learns about money.

at 6 you can help open an account for him and help him track money there.

[karemore]

I wouldn't use the savings jar as a way to put off a purchase. All it takes is an overly helpful relative or someone to give him a big chunk of change and your plan is ruined.

If you don't want him to have a game system (which I agree is not healthy for a child that young) than you need to stick to your values and say "no".

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by nainai0585

The main reason though was attempting to teach ds about saving his money for something he really wants. And the hope that he would actually care about it as he had to pay for it, not myself or dh. Once again reinforcing responsibility for his things.

If you want to do this, I would encourage him to save up for somthing that won't take so very long. Like a game, once he has a game system, or something even less expensive. I'd make sure he understands money, though, first (like how many quarters in a dollar). ITA about your idea, you just want to be sure he has a successful first experience. DS was under 5, btw, when he bought his own DS but he had had an allowance for quite some time.

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

Stylus' cost like $5 - I buy packs of 3 for $15. My kids are pretty rough, and their DS and DSi's have held up fine. We had a gameboy, too, and I think the DS's are made better.

I saw a 7 pack at Target yesterday for around $10 and it included a carry case for 9 games. I have also only bought one replacement pack of styli (?) for my two kids and we have had no issues with lost games or damaged DSs. That said, they had already each had a Leap Pad & a Leapster that they were responsible for with no mishaps and we bought the cases for them.

My objection to the DSs (and anything like them) was more an issue of screen time. For us, though, the DSs generally only come out on car trips over 45 minutes one way OR maybe once a month for some play inside.

Good luck!

[VisionaryMom]

I believe (in theory, anyway) that when a child buys something, then the child has more, maybe absolute, say over that item. So if my son bought a DS, I would feel that it was *his* to take where he wanted, play when he wanted, etc. I say in theory because our kiddos don't really buy their own stuff. We just buy for them what we would like them to have and/or they ask to get. I'm also not particularly punitive with toys, but it still feels different when they've bought it.

I also agree with a pp who said that you should teach him about saving with a smaller item. While it sounds great to say "if you really want it, you'll save," you're talking about saving for half of the time he's been alive. If I had to save for 15 years for an object I wanted, I would get discouraged.

We are just now giving DS (5) an allowance - $5 a week. I'm going to help him pick out something that's say $10 or $15 to learn about the idea of saving for a purchase. Then he can save $3 a week or whatever he needs until he buys it. I don't believe a savings plan calling for 100% savings for 2 years really is teaching him anything like how finances work in the real world.

[elus0814]

I have a four year old and a five year old. Neither of them have ever played a video game but they've never been to a daycare where they would be exposed to other children having them. I personally feel that even my almost six year old is still too young for something like that. I'm certainly not opposed to video games, we have a ds, a wii, and an xbox but they are only played occasionally and always after the kids go to bed. They are not allowed 'in' on it because I'm concerned they would lose some of their ability to make their own fun and entertain themselves - I've seen my nieces start playing video games and in a few months things like wooden blocks and train sets are suddenly 'baby toys'.

If you were to allow a video game it might be best to buy it for him since that would give you more say in when it's played. I agree with a pp, if he buys it himself then it's entirely his to play when and for how long he wants.

Maybe mostly just allowing games that are educational? I have a ds that I play with myself and even with only things like trivia games and brain age it's still entertaining. I'm not sure they have anything for a child who is not yet reading fluently but it might be something to look into before investing in a system.