Help - nursing my 19 month old makes my skin crawl! Not prego.

[Vegan Princess]

Please help. I am still nursing my boobahollic 19 month old. I have recently cut down to wake up, before nap, sometimes once during nap time, after nap and before bed. Occasionally I cave and nurse more than this. But lately I want to jump out of my skin while nursing. Between the teeth (I always have 4 teeth marks on my breast after nursing) and the constant touching me with her free hand, I get really uncomfortable. Like I want to jump out of my skin. Feels like I have the creepy crawlies inside. This morning she slept attached to me for 45 minutes (she is sick)...I had to cover my arm and other breast with the sheet bc her touching me was bothering me...and I dozed a bit and dreamed I bit her hand. I often have to stop her from nursing after 10-15 minutes bc I can't take any more. She would nurse forever lately if I let her. I have almost no milk left these days too.

I had hoped to let her nurse until 2. But I am beginning to hate the act of nursing. While I am doing it. I do like the closeness and I know how much it means to her. The idea of weaning breaks my heart. But I am so over it while it is happening.

What can I do to not be so annoyed? And why all the sudden (over the past couple months) am I so annoyed? The teeth bother me...but it feels like I am touched out all the sudden. I know this can happen w/pregnancy but I am not prego (would like to be, but am definitely not yet).

Thanks for listening.

Cindy

[D_McG]

I experienced the same thing. It was time for me to wean at that point. But some people can push through it. I definitely stopped letting her nurse past 10 minutes or so some time before 19 mos. except overnight I guess, IDK. I never let her touch my boob with her free hand, etc. So some limits can keep things a bit calm but ultimately I've accepted that as my kids approach the age of 2 we're just ready to move on.

[LynnolaS]

I'm struggling with this too with my almost 19-month old. I'll be interested to see other replies...but my gut says that if it's really bothering me I might think about weaning, or at least cutting down.

[Vegan Princess]

My mom told me this happened to her too at the end of nursing me. I've decided that b/w the yucky feeling, the inability to conceive while nursing and the constant whining and melting down of nursing, I'm about done. Yesterday I cut out all nursing except wake up and bed time. Next week I'm getting rid of wake up. I may let her nurse before bed indefinitely or I may wean altogether. I will have to see. I do usually enjoy the bedtime nursing - it's snuggle time.

Cindy

[MrsBone]

Originally Posted by D_McG

I experienced the same thing. It was time for me to wean at that point. But some people can push through it. I definitely stopped letting her nurse past 10 minutes or so some time before 19 mos. except overnight I guess, IDK. I never let her touch my boob with her free hand, etc. So some limits can keep things a bit calm but ultimately I've accepted that as my kids approach the age of 2 we're just ready to move on.

I never allowed the boob touching by the other hand either. DS likes to put his finger in my belly button though, but that doesn't bother me. I always cover the other boob and limit any place he can touch by having snug fitting clothing on. I get annoyed sometimes too, but not the point OP is at. He still likes his hand to roam all over, but I just tell him no, or I put him down until he calms down otherwise I get really annoyed. I actually wouldn't mind weaning him since I'm 5 weeks pregnant and don't really want to tandem, but I think I'm going to wait until he turns 2 (in 4 months) to try. I've tried already and it was awful!

[akayerich]

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

I had hoped to let her nurse until 2. But I am beginning to hate the act of nursing. While I am doing it. I do like the closeness and I know how much it means to her. The idea of weaning breaks my heart. But I am so over it while it is happening.

I'm feeling exactly the same way lately. Like the OP, my DS is also 19 months. We also have the teeth marks and the wandering hand issues. And I also have very little milk left. It seems the uncomfortable feeling is worst when I have the least milk. Times when my breasts are more full, I don't feel quite as uncomfortable.

[cheenya]

First, I will say that the nursing relationship should be working for both of you, and if its not it may be time to wean, but if you are wanting to CLW or at least not definitely wanting to stop here are some ideas for you.

First, if you have teeth marks on your breast, its time to start working on latch. At this age you can talk to dc about how you need them to latch differently. It can take a lot of work, but it is well worth it, especially if you are wanting to nurse a lot longer.

Second, you can set limits about how the hand is used without stopping nursing. With my oldest I didn't think her touching my other breast was an issue until about a year and a half. At that point it was not easy to set limits, and it took a lot of consistency on my part, but given the choice between keeping her hand in mine or not nursing, she generally chose nursing with her hand in mine. It was well worth the effort put in at that point given how many more years she nursed.

Finally, that skin crawling sensation is one I have over time figured out is caused in my body by a yeast overgrowth. If I start taking massive amounts of probiotics/eating unpasteurized fermented foods and prebiotic foods/ and cutting out unnecessary sugars, the feeling goes away. It took me a long time to figure this one out and if I had been less committed to CLW I may never have done so as in general there have not been other symptoms of yeast that go with this feeling. I have no idea if this would be the case for you, but if you want to keep nursing it may be an avenue to explore.

[Vegan Princess]

Cheenya: That is very interesting about the yeast! How did you come to realize that? I have had a horrible sugar problem lately...that might be a good excuse to try harder to end it. As for latch, I've tried working on it and she knows to stop nursing and open her mouth wide to relatch when I say "oww"...but she doesn't understand about not closing so much. So she just ends up doing it again. Not sure how to get her to understand about biting down less? Any thoughts?

Cindy

[cheenya]

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

Cheenya: That is very interesting about the yeast! How did you come to realize that? I have had a horrible sugar problem lately...that might be a good excuse to try harder to end it.

I realized it slowly over several years - the first time I started thinking about it was actually when my dd had a yeast diaper rash, I noticed that nursing had been really irritating and that it got less so as her rash cleared up - I was treating both of us for yeast at that time so as to avoid having it spread back and forth - my actual thought about why nursing stopped being irritating was that maybe she had been latching poorly do to being uncomfortable from the diaper rash. Then maybe a year later I had to take antibiotics and I noticed that I got that really irritating sensation during nursing while I was on the antibiotics and for about a week thereafter. I was taking a lot of probiotics because of the antibiotics and with was that correlation that really made me wonder about it. The next time I got that sensation (which I tend to liken to feeling like someone is dragging their nails against a chalkboard) I decided it would be worth trying to treat it as yeast - it worked and since then I've noticed that when my diet gets high in sugar or I get lazy about probiotic foods I'm almost certain to have that horrible feeling when nursing, especially if a child also has a lazy latch - that is one really interesting thing - when I've been nursing a baby and an older child the older child's nursing can give me that feeling while the baby doesn't, but treating it as a yeast issue still makes it go away.

As for latch, I've tried working on it and she knows to stop nursing and open her mouth wide to relatch when I say "oww"...but she doesn't understand about not closing so much. So she just ends up doing it again. Not sure how to get her to understand about biting down less? Any thoughts?

Cindy

Opening wide is important, but at least as important is keeping the tongue over the lower teeth. Have you worked on that? When I first started working on latch with my daughter she was just over 2yrs old. Every time before nursing we would make a game of sticking out our tongues and then latching on. If it got painful we would start over as often as necessary. I'll admit it took at least a month, maybe more of working hard at it, but she nursed several more years - so that time working on it was well worth it.

[*MamaJen*]

I think it's pretty common as nursing toddlers get older-- the phrase I've heard used to describe it is "nursing aversion." In the last couple months, I've started feeling that creepy crawly sensation every now and then, mostly if I'm premenstrual or stressed out.

[Pogo0685]

My son is 19 months also and I was coming here to post about the same thing. I really want to nurse him through the winter but I'm tired of him trying to touch my other boob the entire time he is nursing. I just night weaned him (well I started 5 weeks ago and he still wakes up and wants to nurse in the night.) I was really hoping that having the break from nursing would help and it has a little bit but not as much as I wanted it to. I am still going to try to make it through the winter nursing him though. My DH says it just the natural progression of things but the thought of not nursing him makes me sad, and I have no idea of how to comfort without the booby. When he cries or is tired or bored or scared of a new situation I nurse him to fix everything, and it works so well that I never even try anything else except at night when I walk with him and pat his back to get him back to sleep.

I'm going to look into the yeast theroy I have went crazy eating fruit and chocolate lately. Thanks for the tip!

[justKate]

Hey Cindy, this was exactly why I weaned Aubs (@ 17 mos.). Just couldn't take it anymore. And I was sad for a few days, but overall it improved our relationship. Obviously if you want, keep at it, but when it becomes a negative for you, it might be time....

[texmati]

Could it be water? this would happen to me if I got dehydrated. Even drinking during nursing helped. I think it's your bodies way of telling you that something is wrong, and the nursing is not helping.

[Vegan Princess]

Hi POgo - I think I remember you from our due date club?

Kate - didn't know you had the same issue! Glad to know the sadness over weaning faded quickly.

Can't recall if I posted this already or not, bu my mom had this with me at the end. I was just on vacation w/my in-laws and my MIL nursed her boys for a really long time. She told me she thinks this is probably my cue that I've had enough. It sort of felt like it was validating my thoughts on weaning. Silly, I know. I really do think I need to be done soon though. The morning nursings this past week have driven me nuts - to the point that I was rude to my daughter. And that is just no good. I felt sooo annoyed though and let the nursing go on too long bc it meant I could stay in bed longer. I also had another messed up menstrual cycle this month and am getting frustrated w/my inability to conceive due to nursing (short luteal phase). So all signs lead to me probably weaning soon. I think I will drop morning nursing this week - once she is adjusted to the time change after vacation. I expect a HUGE fight on DD's part. In no hurry to drop bedtime just yet though.

Cindy

[D_McG]

Have you tried B6 for your LP? That really helped mine (plus I weaned).

[Vegan Princess]

D McG: Unfortunately, I've been taking vitex and B6 for 3 months now and used progesterone cream for the last 2 cycles and still can't get over an 8 day luteal phase! I think I either need prescription progesterone or I'm going to have to wean. :-( My midwife is testing my hormone levels this month so hopefully she will help me get things sorted out.

Cindy