Drug-free to Epidural? - Page 2

[mommytoallh]

I have given birth to all 5 of my children in a hospital with out any drugs. Every birth was different. They were all hard work. I would never consider giving birth any other way.
I recently had a cousin who went through natural childbirth and told me her experience was awful. She went on to tell me that "obviously my births had never been as painful or difficult as hers." I was very hurt. Two of my babies were 9lb 7oz, and no matter who you are that's hard! I guess I just have a different mind set. I don't complain how hard it is or how much it hurts. I just get through it. I am also very lucky to have an extremely supportive husband. And I do view the entire experience as beautiful and the thing I am most proud of myself for accomplishing.

That being said, I do believe women should be able to make their own choices how to labor and raise their children. I am thankful to have made my own choices.

[Tresa]

The day my daughter was born, while I was making phone calls to spread the news of her birth on the drive home from the birth center, I made everyone close to me swear to remind me how painful and overwhelming labor and birth was when I got pregnant again so that I would never attempt to go at it drugfree again. I birthed my first two naturally, no problems, but me, three+ years ago, would mandate I never do it again.

God intervened and I had three long years to forget that pain, and this time everyone's dutifully reminded me that I want to surrender control over my body and the path that will lead up to this baby's birth and do it in a hospital with IVs and possibly catheters and a huge needle in my back. And I'm being a hero again. It can't be that bad, right, I mean I lived through it twice. Just suck it up, be tough, channel the lineage of women before you who've birthed without drugs.... It's totally not for everyone.

My aunt, who had five babies, talked to me about her birth experiences before I had my first baby. She had her first three drugfree, and her fourth and fifth with an epidural. She said those were the most pleasurable by far, that she went into the hospital in labor, got her epi, watched her soap operas for the day, and pushed out the baby, was back to her old self in plenty of time for dinner that night. She said there are advantages to both, but if she were pregnant again right then, she'd do the epi again.

I don't think you should put so much consideration into what your husband wants when you make the decision that will ultimately affect your body, your spirit, your psyche. I also think you shouldn't be afraid of the birth, and be prepared for it to not go the way you plan. I have another aunt who planned to get an epi, but her first and only baby came so fast she ended up birthing naturally, and still carries a huge amount of disappointment and residual fear from the experience of the loss of control and pain she experienced during the birth.

You have time, you have options. Peace to you while you figure out what to do.

[limette]

All of mine were planned to be drug free. All three were posterior with extremely painful back labors.

The first I had a midwife and dh attending and they were of no help in helping me deal with the pain. I ended up with every drug available and then a c-section.

The second I had a doula and a successful drug free vbac. The pain was horrible and honestly didn't see what all the (drug free) hoopla was about. Yay if you can do it, but the epidural is the way to go if you can't. I find all the other drugs useless beyond making you a bit high.

The third I planned no drugs again but moved late in the game so I didn't have a doula or prenatal care for the last 3 weeks of pregnancy. I went in to a hospital no knowing who was going to attend or how things were going to go.

It was the most painful labor to date and I ended up crying for an epidural at 5cms. It was fabulous. Pain was gone but I could feel my legs and move them around as needed (they were very heavy though). The total labor ended up being twice as long as previous ones (nothing to do with the epidural) and looking back, I would have exhausted myself a lot earlier if I had to deal with the pain. It helped that the staff was awesome and a lot more easy going with the labor than expected.

I wanted more kids but am convinced there is something wonky going on with my pelvis. Kids are posterior, labors are difficult and they seem to get stuck around the pushing stage.

So currently undecided but if we have more I would get the epidural as soon as the pain started getting overwhelming. For me it made for a much more enjoyable birth. Drug free for me is torture.

[frugalmum]

I did-- I had 4 drug free births including a homebirth. Then had an epidural for my next births. It was just too much pain for me. I had very good experiences with the epi births honestly, they were beautiful, calm births with no complications. I think 2 things are crucial if you are going to have an epi-- 1) have an OB whom you're emotionally comfortable with. I think emotional comfort with an OB is more important than anything else, even if you have very differing birth philosophies. I felt very safe and emotionally at ease with my OB. 2) Wait as long as possible to have the epi put in-- this is tricky as it can take them 45 min+ to get their act together and have the epi put in-- I had mine put in around 5-6cm and flew into transition. Both babies were born within an hour of the epi being in and I had no problem nursing them. They were wide-eyed and awake.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by Milly_P

I probably won't get a doula, but I wanted to let you know that there are many doulas who would be completely respectful and wouldn't judge you if you told them, upfront, that you may chose to get an epidural. You just need to be at peace with it yourself, and then let the doula know that getting an epidural is not a failure to you, but it's a choice you will probably make to have the kind of birth you desire. The right doula for you would be one who will encourage YOUR desires, not necessarily what THEY would choose. When interviewing doulas, you woud want to ask them if they would support you in that decision, and let them know that it's imperative that you be surrounded ONLY by people who are supportive of what you want, and you don't want anyone judging you or making you feel bad for a choice you made about your birth.

Oh, I know! And the doula I'm considering seems really great in that regard (and next time we get together, I'll discuss it more with her), but it's just a nagging thing in the back of my mind!

And fwiw, my first 2 were c/s, and I had no trouble bonding. Dd2 was in the NICU for 2 weeks and I couldn't even hold her until she was 5 days old, or nurse her until she was 11 days old (and she had no trouble and nursed for 2.5 years), but I loved her intensely from the start, as I did with all three of them! I didn't see any difference in bonding between the 2 c/s and the natural birth, honestly (though ymmv, of course).

[nosce]

See, my other experience was in an unmedicated birth in hospital but because I wasn't having contractions, they gave me Pitocin. So I successfully made it with my 8 lb 4 oz child AND Pitocin without an epidural, and I feel that after Pitocin, natural birth has got to be easier. Obviously there are exceptions, but no. After living through natural childbirth and feeling what was the most psychedelic experience of my life by being mindful of the pain and not fighting it, I'd never go back.

[babybirkel]

My first was totally natural at a freestanding birth center.

He was 9 lbs 4 oz and posterior.

Relaxing through contractions wasn't bad...but transition and pushing were horrible. Extremely intense, painful, and for me, terrifying. MY Bradley method book made it seem like pushing would be this delightful time of getting even closer to meeting your baby, but in reality it was horrible. It hurt and I really didn't like it. (I pushed for almost 3 hours).

I am planning a home birth with this one. And honestly, when I think about natural labor, at no point am I like "Oh hey! That sounds super duper fun! Remember how awesome that was last time? Let's totally go through that again..." I have no romantic ideals about natural labor.

But I am doing it again because I have done the research and that's what I think the safest (in terms of avoiding that cascade of intervention) way to do things is. I don't think a mom who chooses an epidural is some how less than me. Everyone needs to make their own decisions after doing research.

In Birthing from Within, there is a quote I like. "Labor is hard work, it will probably hurt, but you can do it." There is something empowering (at least for me) to go up against labor knowing that it will not be puppies and rainbows and lollypops, but a hard thing that has the potential to be transformative in the same way that climbing a mountain or running a marathon is transformative. Honestly, after my last birth I felt really shook up at how hard that was, but I think knowing that I was able to accomplish such a feat helped me with our breastfeeding challenges in the beginning. I think in many ways breastfeeding was harder than labor was, at least early on, but I had a great deal of confidence simply because I had just dug down deep and did something great that I could look back on and draw strength from.

In a way I think having been through it before is nice because I know what to expect, even if what I expect is hard work and several hours that will probably really suck. I am going up against it realistically this time. I know it will hurt but I honestly don't remember the pain from my first labor...I just remember it sucking and me asking my midwife to take me to the hospital to cut the child from my uterus during transition. But once I saw my sweet Sam's face...it was all worth it, and all was forgotten.

Just my 2 cents...I am not excited about going through labor again, but I know I lived through it once, so I can do it again...

[Baby~Braatens~Mama]

Originally Posted by Mrs.Music

I guess what everyone is saying (because we're ALL so smart and right)... do what you want. Whatever your gut is telling you. The ultimate goal is for a healthy mom, healthy baby and a happy experience.

Exactly. Do what makes you comfortable, not what you feel others want you to do. It is a very tough decision, and a personal one. I wish you the very best of luck!

[homemademom]

Originally Posted by babybirkel

But I am doing it again because I have done the research and that's what I think the safest (in terms of avoiding that cascade of intervention) way to do things is. I don't think a mom who chooses an epidural is some how less than me. Everyone needs to make their own decisions after doing research.

In Birthing from Within, there is a quote I like. "Labor is hard work, it will probably hurt, but you can do it." There is something empowering (at least for me) to go up against labor knowing that it will not be puppies and rainbows and lollypops, but a hard thing that has the potential to be transformative in the same way that climbing a mountain or running a marathon is transformative. Honestly, after my last birth I felt really shook up at how hard that was, but I think knowing that I was able to accomplish such a feat helped me with our breastfeeding challenges in the beginning. I think in many ways breastfeeding was harder than labor was, at least early on, but I had a great deal of confidence simply because I had just dug down deep and did something great that I could look back on and draw strength from.

.

This is exactly how I feel and why I'm still going to have a hb even though last time sucked I love Birthing From Within, too!

[Milly_P]

Thanks, everyone! All of the posts gave me a lot of encouragement, and "food for thought". Last time, even though we knew we wanted a hb, no doubt about it, we still explored all of our options. I had a back-up doctor at a hospital who I absolutely loved, and we took the tour of the hospital and a birth center, interviewed all area midwives, and, yes, tried hypnobirthing and Bradley method. I couldn't STAND any of the hypnobabies or hypnobirthing stuff because I found that I couldn't handle a single decibel of sound when I was in labor. No music, no water running, no breathing loud, nothing. So out went all the stuff for hypnobirthing. And even still, with the Bradley method, I am really glad DH and I went through it, because the classes were fun, we got to know some really great couples, got one night a week to just focus on us, the baby, think about the birth, think about what we wanted and didn't want. It was nice to have that scheduled time each week, away from the kids and the res tof our busy lives, to just focus on the little miracle brewing inside, lol. But as far as the labor, again, it didn't help at all. With my first, the water helped a bit, and because of how hot baths are always my go-to for relaxation, I figured I'd use the tub a lot, but I only used it for about a half hour and never wanted to get back in again. I tried so many things but everything was just so intense that nothing helped physically. The only thing that helped, mentally, was going off on my own, in the dark, quiet, and just submitting my mind to the fact that no relief was coming from anything except this baby being born, so I just had to survive the next contraction, and the next one, and the next one, until the baby was born.

So anyway, I would definitely not use an epidural as my #1 thing as soon as I start hurting. Yes, from my past experiences, I would expect that the epidural would take the pain away, but I understand it doesn't always happen that way, in which I'd just survive it the same way I survived the last one. I know that I would not go to a hospital unless I felt totally and completely comfortable with my OB and the hospital, the pediatrician, etc.

Anyway, lots to think about, and glad there's lots of time to decide!

Thanks again, everyone!

[Mrs.Music]

Originally Posted by mommytoallh

I recently had a cousin who went through natural childbirth and told me her experience was awful. She went on to tell me that "obviously my births had never been as painful or difficult as hers." I was very hurt. Two of my babies were 9lb 7oz, and no matter who you are that's hard!

This makes me want to say impolite things about your cousin... That's just a very rude and hurtful thing to say. That's my absolute LEAST favorite thing that I get pretty much constantly because I had preemies. Since my babies were small, it apparently must have been this painless experience... Like I stood up and they just dropped out or something. Contractions are contractions. I don't know why people don't understand that while every experience is different... It generally hurts like a SOB.

[ashleybrook]

Originally Posted by Milly_P

And even still, with the Bradley method, I am really glad DH and I went through it, because the classes were fun, we got to know some really great couples, got one night a week to just focus on us, the baby, think about the birth, think about what we wanted and didn't want. It was nice to have that scheduled time each week, away from the kids and the res tof our busy lives, to just focus on the little miracle brewing inside, lol.

Hi Milly_P... i really debated whether to give input or not, i haven't been through 5 natural or not natural births, so i didn't want to put anybody off... but in the end, i'd like to give my encouragement. i have been through a intense later miscarriage and am in the natural birth world with teaching, writing, as a fellow doula, etc.

so, i'd like to encourage you, whether you decide to go hospital or no hospital, epi or no epi, to maybe look around and choose another tool to take into birth with you. something new that you haven't done yet. as you stated, even if it doesn't help you in the birth, it may help you to focus on the baby and on what you want...or even just to meet others and have a good time!

i really feel the more tools we have in our basket, the better off we are, sometimes we'll turn to a tool we learned long ago, sometimes a new one helps. for my drop down on my knees painful periods where i was vomiting and incredibly ill, to the miscarriage, to surving my tattoo (my most painful life experiences), i've used all the tools in my basket at one time or another, and am glad to have learned them all. i don't have a magic tool, it's just the bundle that i have available to pull out the one that's working most at the moment.

and remember, each experience really is different. the more we can get the fear, worry and tension out, the more likely we are to have a better experience...in all of life, and birth!

luck and blessings on your journey! again, i hope you don't mind my input, it is only meant to encourage.

--ashley