registry for birthdays? - Page 2

[redpajama]

It's tacky and pretentious--but this isn't even my biggest problem with it. I wouldn't want to foster that sort of entitlement in my kids. When we're planning a birthday party, there is never any talk about gifts--even though my kids know that party guests usually bring gifts.

We also don't make "Christmas Lists" or "Birthday Lists," though. Sometimes my kids mention something they would like and I might respond with, "Well, I'll remember when your birthday gets close that that's something you might like to have. To be honest, I've almost never gotten them one of those things (because it's usually just a passing-by-something-in-the-store kind of thing, like, "Oh, Mom, I want one of those," and then it's forgotten), and they've always been happy with whatever gifts they receive, whatever the occasion.

[meemee]

aaaaargh i WISH it was the norm, starting at say $5.

i see it as the perfect way of knowing what to buy as a bday present.

i am sorry. but bdays ARE about bday presents. and everyone, well almost everyone brings bday presents so i would sooo appreciate some kind of heads up. should it be a gift registry. or a note saying my child likes this.

and here's the kicker. i would like that esp. from strangers. because with my friends kids i at least know them and what they want. but what about the stranger kids.

i feel we have to change this whole way of thinking about bday presents.

if a gift registry is the way to go then yeah i welcome it.

and i dont buy into the 'expectation' stuff. bdays means presents. or even christmas registries. of course children expect presents. now an adult - yeah that's tacky. but no one is showing up at a kids bday empty handed unless there are extenuating circumstances.

it is so much better in the long run. no worries about inappropriate presents. to receive or give.

so bring it on mama's. lets get gift registries going.

[mauinokaoi]

I think all registries are tacky.
Parties are for celebrating togetherness not just to get stuff.

[EdnaMarie]

$30 and up??? I can only assume you are in a different economic class than us, LOL!

I can see for a wedding so you don't end up with a million toasters. Or even for a baby shower (though, why bother, really, you will still get 6,000 onesies in the newborn size and clearance rack from Ross, not that I don't appreciate it, I do, it's just... why bother with the registry) But two Elmos won't kill anybody.

one of my friends told me that she has her son register for expensive gifts so she and her husband don't have to buy the expensive gifts and that the rich people will buy them for her son for her.

8O How can you have a relationship with people that is close enough to expect them to buy stuff for your kids, and in which you are not close enough to mention to them what your kids are interested in? Who ARE these people? Never mind... I actually don't want to know.

Of course it's fine to tell people what your child wants, within a reasonable price range, if they ask. But that's only if they ask!

[cappuccinosmom]

Two words: Tacky and entitled.

Fortunately we haven't been invited to a birthday party like that, and I'm glad because I couldn't do a $30 birthday gift. Sorry, we're poor.

The kid birthdays that we've been to I was very glad to see the children were *grateful* for the gifts they recieved, and frankly just enjoying having a good time. When we're invited, when I call to RSVP, I make it a point to ask the parent if there's anything in particular the child likes, to give me a general idea of what would be a nice present. The last time I did that, the mom said "Oh, he'd be happy with a box of crayons. We just want you to come and have fun". *That* was an enjoyable party.

ETA: Our kids are 7 and under, and last year was the first time they had a "party" with invited guests. It was just one other family who has a bunch of kids, and our "party" consisted of pizza and pudding on the patio. I told the mom not to worry about gifts, since it wasn't an expectation in our family. She did get each boy a water gun from the Dollar Store and they were soooooooooo thrilled. How one does birthdays is a family/culture thing, and expectations can be high or low. My kids expectations are lower than mine were, because our family culture is a little different than it was when I was a child.

[maddymama]

Originally Posted by meemee

i am sorry. but bdays ARE about bday presents. and everyone, well almost everyone brings bday presents so i would sooo appreciate some kind of heads up. should it be a gift registry. or a note saying my child likes this.

.

Are they? Really? I've gotta respectfully disagree with you. They are a celebration of a life, a chance to be happy with the child and to mark the passage of time.... I really don't think they are all about the presents. I DO however, think it is all about the cake, the blowing out of the candles, the "happy birthday song" and the magicalness of that moment for the child...... that's when all their eyes light up, and everyone looks so happy........
~maddymama

[meemee]

Originally Posted by maddymama

Are they? Really? I've gotta respectfully disagree with you. They are a celebration of a life, a chance to be happy with the child and to mark the passage of time.... I really don't think they are all about the presents. I DO however, think it is all about the cake, the blowing out of the candles, the "happy birthday song" and the magicalness of that moment for the child...... that's when all their eyes light up, and everyone looks so happy........
~maddymama

the bolded part honestly is all philosophical 'crap' for us parents. for our kids its all about presents. maybe not so much when they are younger but by the time they are 4 or 5 it becomes all about presents.

why then is opening presents at the bday party such a big deal?

i am not talking about parents here but mainly the general public.

having a child is school has opened up my world to a lot of reality out there.

for my dd the bolded part works. but not for other families or her friends.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by meemee

the bolded part honestly is all philosophical 'crap' for us parents. for our kids its all about presents. maybe not so much when they are younger but by the time they are 4 or 5 it becomes all about presents.

why then is opening presents at the bday party such a big deal?

i am not talking about parents here but mainly the general public.

having a child is school has opened up my world to a lot of reality out there.

for my dd the bolded part works. but not for other families or her friends.

My son just had his 5th birthday party. We don't (among his school friends) open gifts at the party. They've been large parties this year for one thing (about 20 kids) and that would be insane. And they're little.

This is the first year he's noticed that he was getting gifts and he was excited - but not as excited about having his friends to the beach to play. And the cake was a really big deal.

What went over the best at the party though were the temporary tattoos. Man. If that enthusiasm lasts, anyone who owns a tat parlour in 15 years is going to be rich.

So no, the gifts are not the focus here. That said, people were really generous with their gifts.

P.S. no registries, nor would I ever do one.