I have no control

[mom61508]

I know "no" is a toddlers favorite word but I'm going mad with this!

Whenever I ask her to do something, or put something back, or try to distract her from getting into something I don't want her to be in her reply is, NO with attitude over and over again. She also gives a very snotty little face along with that no.

I really don't know how to handle it anymore. I've been ignoring it but I feel that may be letting her think it's ok to talk to me like that??? I've really been trying to not use NO with her a lot unless it's something a little more serious you know like moving her stool helper to the stove when I'm cooking.

She's also been hitting me a lot which gets me fuming like no other. Today I was just putting her in the car seat(which she hates) and she got mad and whacked me in the face HARD my instinct was to smack her back and it took everything I had not too. I've tried holding her hands when she does this and telling her it's not nice to hit or you give love touches but it's really done nothing for us I feel like I have no control with her anymore.

[gbailey]

Awww mama. How old is your DD?

[hrsmom]

The hitting has really eased up around here, yay!!!! Big hugs, mama! Like the PP asked, how old is your little one?

ETA- I tend to say, "please don't hit me" and I would probably say, "Please don't talk to me like that" if I really didn't like the way she was talking to me. I'm a big fan of ignoring, too, though! My dd has passed through many stages fairly quickly without me giving much attention to the stuff that I didn't particularly care for.

[mom61508]

Whew! sorry for such a delayed response my internet was down. DD is 27 months. She's a fairly "easy" child but hitting has been her recent phase....

[Peony]

It is a phase it will pass, she is exerting her independence, but that doesn't mean you can't change things up a bit to minimize the behavior. Instead of saying something like, "Please put away the blocks." I would give options, options give the child a sense of control. At her age it should be only be 2 options, and there are options for everything! "Would you rather put away the blocks or the stuffed dog first? Shoe on left foot first or right? Do you want to brush hair first or get dressed?" See options exist for everything! She gets to feel like she had a role to play and you get done what needs to be accomplished without hearing no all the time.

as far as hitting, just keep repeating "we don't hit or gentle touch" whatever line you use. Hitting is one of those behavior that takes a while for them to move past, they have a difficult time putting into words their emotions, or she may not be recognizing her emotions yet, so the first response is to hit. A more mature child can think through and voice her opinion, it just takes time.